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re: Anyone Ever Been To A Wedding That Was A Complete Disaster?
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:43 am to OweO
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:43 am to OweO
Grew up in rural MS where everybody is pretty much Baptists and the county is dry, and started going to a couple of them for friends while enrolled at LSU. It wasn't until I went to my first Catholic wedding in Nola that I really saw how much weddings back at home were shitshows with no drinking and having uptight brides' mothers trying to micromanage every little detail, especially the no drinking part. The Catholic wedding was one of the better experiences I went to for the first time in college. Too bad my girlfriend at the time didn't tell me that they usually have mass during the wedding because I had never been to a catholic mass, and I was hilariously lost.
I learned a catholic reception is a gift from heaven itself. For the good catholic weddings anyway.
I learned a catholic reception is a gift from heaven itself. For the good catholic weddings anyway.
This post was edited on 2/28/18 at 9:47 am
2
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:48 am to OweO
Two years ago my cousin had a barn/vineyard wedding in the middle of summer. They have a son who was a little over a year old at the time, and he started suffering from heat exhaustion so the bride and groom left to take him to the hospital maybe an hour into the reception. We tried to keep the party going for about another hour without them, until it started pouring rain and everyone left.
A wedding where the bride and groom are not present is very odd to say the least.
A wedding where the bride and groom are not present is very odd to say the least.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:50 am to GetEmTigers08
quote:
learned a catholic reception is a gift from heaven itself. For the good catholic weddings anyway
They are a requirement due to the painful 60-90 minute ceremony.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:50 am to Hogwarts
quote:Gets better.
No crap, the guy would get up from dinner and go slap it in the bathroom. They had a son who's about one notch above Forrest Gump, after which that guy found himself a 300 pounder on Craigslist who let him jerk it at the dinner table, so he split for the convenience.
HOLE-E-FRICK
Soon after they were married they came up to my mother's family's homeplace: the house where my grandmother was born and raised in the Alabama black belt. It sits on a couple hundred acres and my mother and her brother own the place. We go there a couple of times a year to get away from everything.
My parents had bought little sister and her new husband cell phones and put them on their plan. They hadn't been married two months. Mr. Whacky-whacky, however, was already trolling for new pussy. He regularly excused himself and said he was going walking in the woods. He smoked - no one else in the family does - so we assumed he was going to have a cigarette.
Turns out, the POS was going out in the woods, dropping trow and jacking it for the squirrels and birds to see. But wait, there's more: he was videoing and photographing the jacking and sending it to fat girls he was chasing on Craigslist.
Best part of the whole deal was that since the phones were on my parents' Verizon account, they still had them set up under the sis's old teenager account standards, meaning that my parents could login and see all the messages and communications, including the vids of new son-in-law jerking his, as it turns out, micropeen, for all the critters to see.
Not that little sis was any better. When she found out that he was doing all of this her response was not to leave him. Nope. Once they got transferred to Cherry Point, NC, she decided to invite the biggest, blackest marine on base over to plow the south 40 about 10 minutes before Lance Corporal Slappy was supposed to get home. He comes in to find her buried under a mountain of coal and, evidently, enjoying it. Six months later, he knocked up some lard arse from Greenville, NC, while he was still married to my sis.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:51 am to HarryBalzack
Damn, proof that genetics count.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:52 am to OweO
I once went to a dry wedding (my mom and I refer to those as "Tea and Crumpets weddings). I would much prefer being subjected to something I would later talk about at a dinner party as "such a shitshow" than go to a dry wedding ever again.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:54 am to HarryBalzack
Jesus 
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:56 am to HarryBalzack
Jesus christ man this is beautiful. I don't even think Jerry springer has been witness to a white trash story this epic. If there is more please continue 
Posted on 2/28/18 at 9:59 am to HarryBalzack
quote:
HarryBalzack
Please keep going!
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:01 am to anewguy
I'll spread it out through the day.
Her shite never ends.
Her shite never ends.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:04 am to LSUgusto
quote:
I knew a guy who was marrying the prettiest girl in town, but he planned to kill her to start a gang war. For the wedding, he loaded the church gate with security.
Unexpectedly, this giant dude, claiming to be a legendary pirate who took no prisoners, wore a cloak and set it on fire, scattering the guards in panic.
The priest, who had a bad speech impediment, was hurried to finish the ceremony without officially marrying them.
A guy wearing a black mask and a drunk Spaniard rescued the bride, and she ended up hooking up with the guy in the mask. You could have made a movie out of that scene.
inconceivable story.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:06 am to OweO
Hell yea!
One family went to the emergency room, while the other family went to jail.
Everything was fine until they collected money to extend the reception an extra hour. In that hour all hell broke loose.
One family went to the emergency room, while the other family went to jail.
Everything was fine until they collected money to extend the reception an extra hour. In that hour all hell broke loose.
This post was edited on 2/28/18 at 10:15 am
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:08 am to TheFonz
quote:
the only American at a Muslim wedding
sigh
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:16 am to HarryBalzack
quote:
I'll spread it out through the day.
that's cool.. I didn't really feel like working today
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:17 am to OweO
A sister of one of my high school friends was marrying a black guy in Tangipahoa Parish back in the late 90s. This obviously didn't sit very well with this redneck family, but they were "allowing" it because they loved the girl. Very tense wedding, but where things go really bad is the reception. After taking photos and everything seems to be OK, the bride somehow loses track of the groom and no one seems to have seen him for a bit. Eventually he's found in a storage closet of the reception hall getting a blowjob from one of his ex-girlfriends (another white girl) who was there as a "plus 1" of his own cousin's. This leads to a huge fight between the bride's oldest brother and the groom that then turns into a brawl that's mostly split on racial lines. Cops are called, several people including the groom are hauled off in cuffs, and the bride is in tears. The stupidest thing of all is that she stays with the bastard. Shockingly, he cheats on her multiple more times before she finally leaves him about 3 years later.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:21 am to FlyingTiger06
Best thread in a long time. Keep the stories coming.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:40 am to glassman
I can't touch Harry but I'll add another one to keep the fun rolling.
Recently went to a friend who married a very "artsy" girl. The whole thing was an unorganized cringe fest. It was held in the back room of an art gallery. The kind of art gallery where they sell things like barbie dolls glued in wooden boxes with various things that I guess is supposed to be provocative?? Anyway, we get there and there are only enough chairs for about 1/3 of the people there. So everyone else was just kinda crowded around. The music for the ceremony was an old guy playing acoustic guitar... he started by playing the French national anthem for some reason and the rest was basically him riffing playing random chords. Right when the bride was about to walk out he must have stroked out cause he hit an awful chord and then....silence...the bride walked out to silence. To add to the cringe the girl who was acting as the officiant began the ceremony with "we are gathered here today to celebrate a thing called life." It went on like that and they walked out together through a crammed crowd of people who were standing wherever they could.
The reception was in the same room but they told everyone to clear out and come back in 15 minutes... so the whole of the people in attendance spent sometime awkwardly crammed in a a gallery of the weirdest "art" I have ever seen. We come back and again...almost no chairs. Dinner was a roast pig which sounds cool in theory, but there was no kitchen. Let me assure you nothing sets the tone for a wedding reception quite like chefs tearing the meat off a whole hog in the middle of a wedding reception. We got our plate of ripped pig and sat outside on a step cause at this point we were dying for any kind of seat.
The best part of this was it was open bar in the weirdest way. The couple had gotten 2 mini kegs of their favorite beer which was free, but everything else was cash and really expensive. Once the reception found this out the kegs were tapped in about an hour and so were we. We showed up to our fav bar still early in the night dressed up and sober.... our bartender said if you just came from a wedding this early and sober it must have sucked...I just smiled and said let me tell you a story.
Recently went to a friend who married a very "artsy" girl. The whole thing was an unorganized cringe fest. It was held in the back room of an art gallery. The kind of art gallery where they sell things like barbie dolls glued in wooden boxes with various things that I guess is supposed to be provocative?? Anyway, we get there and there are only enough chairs for about 1/3 of the people there. So everyone else was just kinda crowded around. The music for the ceremony was an old guy playing acoustic guitar... he started by playing the French national anthem for some reason and the rest was basically him riffing playing random chords. Right when the bride was about to walk out he must have stroked out cause he hit an awful chord and then....silence...the bride walked out to silence. To add to the cringe the girl who was acting as the officiant began the ceremony with "we are gathered here today to celebrate a thing called life." It went on like that and they walked out together through a crammed crowd of people who were standing wherever they could.
The reception was in the same room but they told everyone to clear out and come back in 15 minutes... so the whole of the people in attendance spent sometime awkwardly crammed in a a gallery of the weirdest "art" I have ever seen. We come back and again...almost no chairs. Dinner was a roast pig which sounds cool in theory, but there was no kitchen. Let me assure you nothing sets the tone for a wedding reception quite like chefs tearing the meat off a whole hog in the middle of a wedding reception. We got our plate of ripped pig and sat outside on a step cause at this point we were dying for any kind of seat.
The best part of this was it was open bar in the weirdest way. The couple had gotten 2 mini kegs of their favorite beer which was free, but everything else was cash and really expensive. Once the reception found this out the kegs were tapped in about an hour and so were we. We showed up to our fav bar still early in the night dressed up and sober.... our bartender said if you just came from a wedding this early and sober it must have sucked...I just smiled and said let me tell you a story.
Posted on 2/28/18 at 10:43 am to Gorilla Ball
quote:
priest over slept and was about 45 minutes late
Maybe he was shopping and lost track of time...?
Posted on 2/28/18 at 11:29 am to OweO
I went to a Baptist wedding. The disaster was the dry reception 
Never Again!
Never Again!
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