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Am I the a-hole?

Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:06 am
Posted by Rex Feral
Somewhere near Athens
Member since Jan 2014
17178 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:06 am
A friend of a friend had an abscessed tooth. He wouldn't go to the dentist or do anything about it. After a couple months, the infection killed his tooth. It then spread from his tooth to his sinuses and then to his brain. He had to be put into a medically induced coma for 6 weeks. He went through several surgeries and is now only able to blink and move his thumb when he hears his name. No one knows whether he'll be able to talk, walk, or be a vegetable the rest of his life. He's in his 40s, has a wife, and a couple kids.

The whole friend group is very upset over what happened. I've never met him. Like I said, he's a friend of a friend. I feel bad for his family, but I've stayed out of it because all I can think is, All this because you wouldn't go to the fricking dentist?

Edit: Am I an a-hole for not caring when other friends are visibly upset. It's getting hard to pretend I care when they tell me He moved his arm today or He tried to talk today.
This post was edited on 8/19/26 at 8:02 am
Posted by Beessnax
Member since Nov 2015
11459 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:12 am to
Dude is a Darwin award winner. It is entirely his fault and you can judge him accordingly.
Posted by Mushroom1968
Shreveport
Member since Jun 2023
6793 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:13 am to
Congrats on having friends
Posted by kciDAtaE
Member since Apr 2017
17790 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:14 am to
What’s the a-hole part?
Posted by TimeOutdoors
LA
Member since Sep 2014
13652 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:17 am to
There are many people that don't know the dangers of infections and how quickly they can spread to the brain. There are also many people that don't have dental insurance and depending on his financial situation he may have been trying to sacrifice pain for is family, not realizing how deadly it could become.

Posted by DustyDinkleman
Here
Member since Feb 2012
20371 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:17 am to
So you think you’re an a-hole because you sat around silently and didn’t tell a guy you’ve never met before to go to the dentist?

Maybe you are
Posted by Telecaster
Memphis
Member since May 2017
2308 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:19 am to
Nope, you’re not the a-hole as I was thinking the same thing.

You just know ole boy had major bad breff too.
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
6313 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:19 am to
You're a friend of a friend. You aren't obligated to do anything.

And yes, mouth infections are no joke. They can spread a lot of terrible disease to the rest of your body.
Posted by BottomlandBrew
Member since Aug 2010
30201 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:28 am to
Don't frick around with tooth pain. It's more deadly than most people realize. That said, I don't know the guy's financial situation. I know as men we often put ourselves last in the family as far as personal health is concerned.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86706 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:32 am to
quote:

I feel bad for his family, but I've stayed out of it


Then no, you are not the a-hole

Posted by Arthur Bach
Member since Jul 2016
3352 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:32 am to
Seems you lack compassion.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
17584 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:32 am to
quote:

There are also many people that don't have dental insurance

Dental is included in Obamacare plans.

You have to be a dumbass to ignore dental pain. Your mouth is integral to breathing, eating, and talking. You can at least spend $40 on a quick look see in order to see if something can be delayed or is life threatening.
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
26321 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:33 am to
Why care? Don’t
This post was edited on 8/19/26 at 7:35 am
Posted by Deep Purple Haze
LA
Member since Jun 2007
71729 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:37 am to
vv sry 4 ur loss
Posted by TygerLyfe
Member since May 2023
4377 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:39 am to
A true friend would have pulled it for him with some needle nose pliers
Posted by HarryHoudini
Member since Oct 2025
1539 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:44 am to
Sounds like he’s not a healthy individual.
Mouth problems are signs of a lot of other health complications.

You’re not an a-hole. I’m sure you’re sympathetic but it’s pretty normal to wonder “why the hell would you not just go get your tooth fixed?”
This post was edited on 8/19/26 at 7:45 am
Posted by SixthAndBarone
Member since Jan 2019
11339 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 7:45 am to
quote:

Am I the a-hole?


I fail to see what you did to ask if you were an a-hole.
Posted by RichJ
The Land of the CoonAss
Member since Nov 2016
6139 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 8:38 am to
Something, something, "you can lead a horse to water". Sometimes Darwin wins...
Posted by idlewatcher
Planet Arium
Member since Jan 2012
98698 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 8:42 am to
People need more personal accountability.

Oftentimes, it's too late. Hope he gets a second shot at life but it's not looking good.
Posted by The Third Leg
Idiot Out Wandering Around
Member since May 2014
12754 posts
Posted on 8/19/26 at 8:45 am to
If you can’t feel empathy for someone who made a retarded pride driven mistake that could cost his family their entire livelihood, you aren’t an a-hole, you’re subhuman trash.
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