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re: Am I being paranoid
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:38 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:38 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
Any thing missing?
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:39 pm to Deep Purple Haze
Thanks baw. FPA 
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:39 pm to wartiger2004
quote:
Honestly trust your instincts. Something’s not right.
This. I have been around a lot of elderly abuse cases in the past with my prior job. The description in the OP has all the red flashing alarms going off in my head.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:40 pm to LSUballs
quote:
FPA
did u know he's gay?
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:42 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
quote:
He has an in home caregiver while I’m at work, but nothing that leads me to believe she’s asking him for money
Short of one of them confessing or seeing it for yourself, what insight could you possibly even have?
She getting paid.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:44 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
Does he have an in house caregiver because of cognitive issues?
Posted on 8/24/26 at 3:59 pm to LSUballs
Set up hidden cameras with sound pickups.
Hired home care givers are seldom known for their honesty and then things start going missing.
My Mother always kept a couple of hundred dollars in the lining of something in her chest pf drawers/ I paid someone of her choice to help part time. When Mother died, the money wasn't where it had been a couple of months earlier.
Hired home care givers are seldom known for their honesty and then things start going missing.
My Mother always kept a couple of hundred dollars in the lining of something in her chest pf drawers/ I paid someone of her choice to help part time. When Mother died, the money wasn't where it had been a couple of months earlier.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 4:02 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
Caregiver could be sneaking him out to the casino.
When my grandmother was still alive she would always have me take her to “the boat” (it was a building, on land) whenever I would spend a day helping her with errands, appointments, and whatnot.
She would toss a couple hundred bucks at me and tell me to shoo.
When my grandmother was still alive she would always have me take her to “the boat” (it was a building, on land) whenever I would spend a day helping her with errands, appointments, and whatnot.
She would toss a couple hundred bucks at me and tell me to shoo.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 4:07 pm to auggie
quote:
He's buying some poon.
Renting, but my first thought also.
How's the "caregiver" look?
Posted on 8/24/26 at 4:16 pm to wareaglepete
I think I’m just going to swap caregivers. Peace of mind in this situation is what I need. He’s not cognitively impaired but my gut tells me it’s not simply a matter of wanting some cash in his wallet.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 4:23 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
What is he spending the money on? If he only travels with you then you should know.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 4:36 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
I would bet he is giving it to her. However, the reason is what is important. Maybe he is buying sex. Why would you stop him? Its his money, and unless he will run out soon, why not let him indulge his desires?
But if he is just getting blackmailed, or something negative towards him happening then you have a problem
Best thing is to hide a camera, but if she is just pleasing him, be ready to burn your eyes out. And if he has money to spare, leave him alone.
But if he is just getting blackmailed, or something negative towards him happening then you have a problem
Best thing is to hide a camera, but if she is just pleasing him, be ready to burn your eyes out. And if he has money to spare, leave him alone.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 4:39 pm to TygerTyger
my FIL did as his health began to fade, when he passed last year, we found close to 1k in coins stashed around his house, and about 800 in cash.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 5:32 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
quote:
he’s asked me on several occasions to stop by the bank and bring him 5 or 600 dollars in cash.
If you gave him $600 in cash and he cant show you what he spent it on and he has not been anywhere without you then, no, you are not paranoid. If the money is disappearing then it is time for the Nanny cam to come out... My FIL had several sitters steal money from him. He used to keep cash in a lock box to pay the sitters and one of them stole the money.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 5:40 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
Trust your gut and don’t brush it off (unfortunately this type of stuff does happen with vulnerable seniors), but see if you can get to the bottom of it without straight up accusing the aide.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 5:52 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
No you are not being paranoid at all. Trust your instincts. My father had dementia and my mother took care of him for 25 years. Soon after his death my mother developed Alzheimer’s. She lived with it for 8 years. Soon after my father developed dementia I bought them a house close to me and hired in home health care for them. There is definitely something going on. Ask him to show you the last money you brought him. He either has a stash and his memory is failing or he’s being taken advantage of.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 6:06 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
I don’t think you are being paranoid at all.
Honestly, I would straight up ask the caregiver about it. I would do it in a totally unacusing way….kind of like “help me figure out what is going on.”
If it stops when you ask the caregiver about it, you have your answer. All involved need to know that you have noticed,,,,
Honestly, I would straight up ask the caregiver about it. I would do it in a totally unacusing way….kind of like “help me figure out what is going on.”
If it stops when you ask the caregiver about it, you have your answer. All involved need to know that you have noticed,,,,
Posted on 8/24/26 at 6:08 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
Give him Monopoly money and see if his caregiver gets a new attitude.
Posted on 8/24/26 at 6:10 pm to Blizzard of Chizz
Trust your instincts. As my grandmother approached her late 80’s she started giving money to basically anyone who would call her and mention the church.
They weren’t scams but missionaries or whatever and she couldn’t say no.
My dad’s brother had power of attorney and unfortunately we had to take her checkbook away from her.
They weren’t scams but missionaries or whatever and she couldn’t say no.
My dad’s brother had power of attorney and unfortunately we had to take her checkbook away from her.
This post was edited on 8/24/26 at 6:11 pm
Posted on 8/24/26 at 7:54 pm to junkfunky
quote:
I'd set up some cameras
Good idea no matter what if there’s elder care, child care, or pet care entering a home without third-party supervision. Get ones that can record even if someone tries to get clever and unplugs the wifi, flips a breaker, etc. Just be sure you inform them that there are cameras in and around the home and they should assume they are on camera, with the obvious exception of the restroom, etc.
This post was edited on 8/24/26 at 7:56 pm
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