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re: Aging OT: how to identify and manage the mid life crisis

Posted on 4/28/22 at 6:48 am to
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53088 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 6:48 am to
quote:

am in a place with work that I can work remotely 90% of the time. even from the camp. now my concern is how my teenage kids are turning out, and what i can do to put them in a better place than i had.

I'm 44 and this sounds a lot like me. No real mid life crisis. I'm just saving as much money as I can and trying to get out of the rat race as early as possible. One of the kids is out of the house. The other one about 3 years away.
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
135957 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 6:50 am to
For me, it's been find hobbies that are interesting and spend time on that, keep active and be outside when the weather is nice as much as you can.
Posted by Tigeralum2008
Yankees Fan
Member since Apr 2012
17623 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 6:51 am to
44. Raised my kids. They are doing well

I’m struggling because I’ve always played sports and been a decent to good player. I’m certainly slipping but what’s worse is how I feel like death the next day.

Wife #2 is great and 10yrs younger. No issues there

Professionally I certainly have the same thoughts as OP. Am I getting the most out of my Career? I anticipate a change coming soon.

Hobbies have picked but I’m not an irresponsible spender
Posted by Hulkklogan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Oct 2010
43482 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 6:55 am to
quote:

I'm hopefully not halfway home quite yet, but the internal monologue has changed. Am I maximizing my professional talent (or do I still even love what I do professionally), am I realizing the fruits of my labor, am I raising the kids right, am I on a path that makes me happy. These are the thoughts in my mind lately. I haven't bought a boat or Porsche yet, and I doubt I'll get there, but it feels like that time of life where all that is on the table.


I'm 32 & thinking of these things.

I've always thought management would lead me straight to midlife crisis, but a spot may be opening and it is likely I'd get it, I find myself at a critical juncture in my career. If I don't take it I feel like I'll probably be pigeonholed. I know I don't want to be in my current role for more than another year or two, but I'm senior-level engineering.. There's no more advancements I can make that's not management. Is it time to work for a new company? I am learning to code on the side, should I switch careers?

In my personal life, I just had my 2nd child and every day I wonder if I could've been better a better parent at some point the day. So many things to do around the house piling up. So many things to do for family.

I was already hitting burnout before have child 2, and having minor depressive episodes. Not sustainable. Am I going to have to, at least temporarily, give up my career ambitions? Family is priority #1.


quote:

a sort of sales engineer emeritus to the young guys, and to people in my field. 


Sales engineering is what I do too, but I support 10 sales people so I'm swamped 100% of the time
This post was edited on 4/28/22 at 8:14 am
Posted by Blutarsky
112th Congress
Member since Jan 2004
11726 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 6:57 am to
Posted by WildManGoose
Member since Nov 2005
4600 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:02 am to
quote:

How did you recognize the shift
For me, it's the 2am existential panic attacks

quote:

what did you do to satiate or manage it?
Ice cream sandwiches and drowning myself in the moment.
Posted by TejasHorn
High Plains Driftin'
Member since Mar 2007
11587 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:04 am to
quote:

Too many people think they can grind it out and do everything when they are retired.


That is absolutely true and an unfortunate part of our work and culture. It also ties into keeping up with the Joneses by needing that big house, the best schools and an F250. The pandemic made things worse for many by blurring work and home life.

You absolutely have to draw boundaries and make time for important things. Don’t let life flash by in a ball of stress and hurry.
Posted by BeachDude022
Premium Elite Platinum TD Member
Member since Dec 2006
36406 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:16 am to
Just keep working out and banging 20-somethings.
Posted by cable
Member since Oct 2018
9735 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:19 am to
quote:

I’m struggling because I’ve always played sports and been a decent to good player. I’m certainly slipping but what’s worse is how I feel like death the next day.


This sounds exactly like me - I just can't do the same stuff I used to do. At one point I impressed myself daily - not I'm just kinda meh. It sucks.
Posted by Kentucker
Rabbit Hash, KY
Member since Apr 2013
20055 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:35 am to
quote:

am I on a path that makes me happy.


Watch lots of porn. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. That’s the only path over which you have any control at this point. You’re a monkey in a cage and all you can do is masturbate, so masturbate a lot.
This post was edited on 4/28/22 at 7:36 am
Posted by Dominate308
South Florida
Member since Jan 2013
2895 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:37 am to
Just tell yourself you’re already dead. Every morning you wake up is a gift.
Posted by tiggerthetooth
Big Momma's House
Member since Oct 2010
64068 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:40 am to
quote:

The quicker that you realize that your life doesn't matter in the grand scheme, the quicker you'll learn to not give a shite


And this attitude is why the world is shite. No one believes their life matters and they don't believe what they do matters. They live for themselves only and nothing more.


You are a nihilist.
Posted by Slippy
Across the rivah
Member since Aug 2005
7442 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:41 am to
There has been very little talk of strange in this thread. Nothing epitomizes a midlife crisis more than the pursuit of strange. Nothing.

Posted by Palmetto98
Where the stars are big and bright
Member since Nov 2021
2145 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:44 am to
Will I have a mid life crisis if i never get married and have kids?
Posted by supadave3
Houston, TX
Member since Dec 2005
31792 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:46 am to
46, no kids, unmarried. To some, it sounds great. To others, it sounds terribly lonely. Less bills, less financial strain with no mouths to feed or brains to educate, but it’s tough to accept that I’ll never have the family life that most of you do. It can be depressing if I let my mind get in those places so I try to stay busy and find ways to be content. All I want is contentment and a piece of arse every few months. That puts the loneliness on hold for a bit.
Posted by Icansee4miles
Trolling the Tickfaw
Member since Jan 2007
31861 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:46 am to
Sounds like you’re planning to have one and just want ideas on the best crisis to have.
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
72779 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:49 am to
quote:

Will I have a mid life crisis if i never get married and have kids?
It’s certainly possible if you can do simple math.

Most people, whether they have a spouse and/or kids or not, can figure out that they’re midway to their check-out date and begin to reflect on the implications.
Posted by Mr Happy
Member since May 2019
2372 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 7:50 am to
GR Tiger and all the other midlife OTers-

It may not feel like it at the moment, but taking the time to articulate your situation and seek input from others is a very healthy response to what you are going through.

As you can see from some of the intelligent responses in this thread, what you are experiencing is pretty common among your demographic.

Psychologists say that many of us experience a period in our mid-life in which we feel stagnant and in particular, feel like the dreams of our youth have slipped away. We never learned a second language, never won a sports championship even though we had the talent to do so, could have been better at this or that, never lived abroad, never made a significant contribution to science or politics, or whatever.

That period in our life ends when we are able to accept our shortcomings and value the things we did accomplish, value who we are and celebrate it.

Now is the time to consider how to charge into the next phase of your life. I may be old-fashioned, but porn, drugs and loose women will only numb the feeling of stagnation and will distract you from the path to success and happiness. Your path to happiness is unique to who you are and only you can figure out where it lies. Many people who go through something in their midlife say that the next phase of their life is the happiest.

Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at the end of the day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
This post was edited on 4/28/22 at 8:09 am
Posted by deltaland
Member since Mar 2011
100420 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 8:05 am to
quote:

manage the mid life crisis


Hookers and Blow
Posted by Palmetto98
Where the stars are big and bright
Member since Nov 2021
2145 posts
Posted on 4/28/22 at 8:07 am to
quote:

Hookers and Blow


I’m not opposed lol
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