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Posted on 1/3/18 at 11:59 pm to hubreb
Don't take this disrespectfully, but it sounds to me like y'all messed up as parents long before this. Disrespect isn't a behavior that usually happens overnight. My 17 y.o. forgets who he is and where he comes from every now and then, but I'm right there to put his narrow arse back into step.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 12:15 am to hubreb
My dad drove me back to my dorm over Thanksgiving break freshman year because I was acting exactly like that. I had no job or money. He dropped me off, only student not with family, and gave me $40 for food for the week to the dining hall reopened and I could use my meal plan. I knew he was pissed but he didn't say a single thing on the 1+ hour drive.
Today there's no one I respect and credit for all the positive things in my life more than my dad.
I've supported myself since I started college and it's all thanks to him.
*He spent 23 years in the military, not sure if there's a correlation.....
Today there's no one I respect and credit for all the positive things in my life more than my dad.
I've supported myself since I started college and it's all thanks to him.
*He spent 23 years in the military, not sure if there's a correlation.....
Posted on 1/4/18 at 3:28 am to lsuoilengr
I am in awe of your intelligence.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 3:33 am to hubreb
Juco Baseball.
He hit the big time!!!
He hit the big time!!!
Posted on 1/4/18 at 4:16 am to hubreb
quote:
Fall...sunk truck...fixed 8k
Mistake #1 - you paid for his screw up and didn't take the truck back.
quote:
blew transmission
Separate issue? Due to his negligence / not checking fluids / driving like a moron?
What he needs is a moped to get around campus. It's a JUCO - not a big campus. Plenty of room on a moped or backpack to put a few days groceries in there.
I'm going to go ahead and guess he uses a debit card and credit card from your account. So, there's a point of leverage.
quote:
gets to deer hunt Tensas, duck hunts the best in Ark
Which you foot the bill for. Mistake #2. I'm seeing a trend.
quote:
supposed to leave tomorrow a.m. but doesn't show up till 5pm after sending pictures with 36 mallards
Few teens want to spend a lot of time with the folks. Not a surprise. But sounds like a dick move, nonetheless.
quote:
then has attitude when he gets home
Mistake #3 - you didn't seize this opportunity to lay out the problems with the items above, to show the household budget and what it costs to prop his arse up in college (we all know a JUCO baseball slot isn't coming with a full ride and a Dodge Challenger), and to let him know that his disrespect is not going to be tolerated, and to then outline a plan moving forward like a giant foot in his arse and an empty space in his wallet.
If I had to guess, classes start Monday? So he wants to leave early Thursday so he can get back there and party it up over the weekend, on your dime, I guess. Perfect opportunity to go to the local wholesale lot and sell the truck and get him fitted for a nice moped. I hope you're a good ole baw and have a truck of your own. You can load him and the moped in the truck and take him back to school. JUCO - small campus - if the weather is bad he can walk or take the bus and do just fine.
Better take action now before he leaves. If you don't, you basically just let him know that he can walk all over you. You're his father and he seems to need a strong course correction. Not a fun thing to do but for his own good moving forward, sounds like he needs it. To do anything less is to set him up for failure and to set yourself up for misery.
If you do take action and he gets mouthy, you can just let him know that tuition / books / rent etc will not be paid, that he can move back home and get his act together, and that you're happy to call the coach and let him know your son is done playing baseball.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 4:25 am to go_tigres
quote:
Don't take this disrespectfully, but it sounds to me like y'all messed up as parents long before this. Disrespect isn't a behavior that usually happens overnight. My 17 y.o. forgets who he is and where he comes from every now and then, but I'm right there to put his narrow arse back into step.
Kid could have also gotten to think he was King Turd on shite Island once he went to school. Though it's JUCO, I'm sure there's some cleat chasers and others making him feel special. Who knows....
Posted on 1/4/18 at 6:04 am to Mingo Was His NameO
Amen
Posted on 1/4/18 at 6:10 am to hubreb
This seems like some weird brag thread.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 6:19 am to starsandstripes
quote:
Kid could have also gotten to think he was King Turd on shite Island once he went to school.
Yes we’ll, my father would have corrected that belief and subsequent behavior with the quickness and on grounds that left no doubt as to who or what I am when in his or my moms presence. Sounds like the OP didn’t get this all worked out with his kid when he should have.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 6:19 am to hubreb
fricking millennials
Posted on 1/4/18 at 6:24 am to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
My parents started to do this shite when I first went off to college. Every time I would come home they would try to give me projects to do, so you know what I did? I told them I wasn't going to come back if all I did was have to work. Is that kind of a dick move, yeah, but I was 18 and they realized that.
This isn’t “kind of” it is a DICK move.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 6:42 am to hubreb
quote:
18-19 year old sons
quote:
might be the most irresponsible, ungrateful, least respectful of them all.
Mine is very respectful. You need to blame the guy who raised him, not him. I mean, really, did the guy get child rearing advice from the OT or something?
Posted on 1/4/18 at 7:28 am to hubreb
quote:
First break from winter break playing juco baseball this spring
Subtle attempt, unfortunately not impressive.
quote:
t irresponsible, ungrateful, least respectful
For some reason, I bet at least 2 of these 3 are reasons he is playing juco and not at some decent college program.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 7:37 am to wfallstiger
Dad is that you?
Posted on 1/4/18 at 8:12 am to mdomingue
quote:
You need to blame the guy who raised him, not him
Interesting thought. I have a friend who has two sons, one year apart. One is in school with a 15 year retirement plan at 20 years old. The other is a total arse.
They were both raised playing ball with an emphasis on academics. They spent a lot of good quality family time with them.
The one kid is a really nice kid. He is respectful and funny. The other has been arrested for battery a few times, along with some drug stuff and a DUI.
They both had the same nature and nurture so it makes no sense.
Posted on 1/4/18 at 8:15 am to hubreb
Let me guess, he hit you with one of these, and now you are furious
Posted on 1/4/18 at 9:57 am to Hangit
quote:quote:Interesting thought. I have a friend who has two sons, one year apart. One is in school with a 15 year retirement plan at 20 years old. The other is a total arse.
You need to blame the guy who raised him, not him
They both had the same nature and nurture so it makes no sense.
I was being a bit tongue in cheek, tbh.
I think even in this situation, there are subtle differences in the nature and nurture. I also have found, in my 4 kids, that each have their own quirks and seemingly inborn tenancies regarding self motivation.
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