re: 14 year old son has stopped eating

I remember my sister (no pics) stopped eating at that same age. She had just been broken up with by her first boyfriend but was very private about it all. My mom actually called about getting her seen for anorexia until she came clean that she was just depressed. She said she didn’t mean to not eat, she just found nothing appetizing and had no desire.

She saw a therapist after that for about 6 months that taught her communication & coping skills and I never saw her upset like that again. I hope your son gets better soon.

It’s ok for him to get some counseling. I probably would consider this.

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14 year old son has stopped eating
He has always been a big eater, he used to be overweight for his age. Now, at 14, won’t eat shite. Has lost probably 10lbs in a couple months.

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So I have been lurking in this thread bc I've been there with my middle child.

Similar onset of symptoms and age/year in school at onset.

Children in middle school and early HS years are vv susceptible to influence of their peers and the impact can result in some vv deep rooted beliefs about their body image.

Disordered Eating starts out in a way that it is hardly noticeable to the child's parents and their close friends, and by the time parents/others are seeing behavior and physical changes, the body dysmorphia can be very severe.

If your gut is telling you something is off with your son, do your due diligence as a parent and find a therapist who specializes in Disordered Eating. Not all therapists are properly trained to treat this.

I cannot stress the significance of your gut sending out a red flag to you abt this.


Left undiagnosed and untreated, Disordered Eating can have life long mental and physical implications.

My son is 17. His body changed a lot from the last 3 years. He is 5’ 10 and 165 lbs. He didn’t like being a little pudgy when he was 14 and cut way back on his caloric intake and started working out in our basement. Puberty and a combo of the other 2 actions he took transformed his body to be hardly any body fat and cut up. I was also concerned that 1st year as that boy would previously never pass up food and would devour it. I monitored his moods and activities and even asked him a few times if he was alright. In reality, he had just self disciplined (probably due to pride) himself to get healthier and look his best. I actually went up to him last week and said “son, I don’t compliment you enough on your successes. You want to know something aside from your academic , clays shooting, and guitar playing achievements that I am very proud of you about? I am proud of the way you self regulated your diet and exercise routine without me or your mom ever have to say a word. A lot of people never do that and that takes discipline. I criticize your lack of discipline in other areas I see you lacking but this is something I want you to know that I am very proud of you about.”

Maybe the OPs son just decided, like my son did, that he was going to not become a fatass in high school.

Why are you taking him to a neurologist? There has to be something else you're leaving out, as one doesn't just go to a neurologist without first running through the more obvious possibilities. Why a cardiologist first and not a gastroenterologist?

The most likely culprit, as others have said, is the crazy time of puberty and that he's 14. His emotions are all over the place, and kids that age are irrational (from an adult perspective) in how they react to situations.

It seriously could just be:
- Nervous about a girl.
- Anxiety about not being "popular" (your words).
- Anxiety about his physical characteristics (whatever he thinks is "bad" about his body.)
- He's eating junky food in the cafeteria at school and isn't hungry at home.

Does his mood/personality seem somewhat the same? Other than the normal hormonal stuff? As unsettling as it is, you have to at least consider the possibility of vaping/drugs at this age. This stuff is EVERYWHERE.

The best thing you can do is be on him like white on rice. Take him to the gym with you - get him a trainer. This will build instant confidence in him and help him deal with anxiety, if this is it. Let him take his stress out on a punching bag.

That transition from boy ---> man is a big one, and this is the age where it happens. Just be there for him and provide him opportunities to grow mentally, spiritually, and physically.

I've got boys but haven't gotten to this stage in life yet.

My first instinct would be to pack him up and leave town to do something cool (the two of you) and try and get him to spill it in the process. But he's your kid and you've got more experience anyway, so maybe that's naive.

1. If you don’t sit at the table and eat dinner as a family, start there.
2. Don’t badger him about his eating or losing weight. He’ll just dig his heels in.
3. Implement “no tech table” for everyone. Just chat about your day.
4. Ask open ended questions. Start with something like “what was your favorite part about today?”
5. Get him involved in cooking dinner and shopping for food.
6. Start implementing family time. No tech and everyone out of the house. It can be going to the park and tossing a ball around, going to a game, going to a movie.

Again, don’t badger him about his feelings or school or his eating. Just be with him and chat about stuff. The more time you spend with him NOT focusing on his problem, the more likely he’ll be to open up in regular conversation.

Don’t start talking about things like anorexia nervosa. If you’re truly concerned about that, make an appointment with his doctor.

I did the same at that age, was a fatty and one day just quit eating. Wish my parents would’ve got me involved in jew jitzu or martial arts at that time but I still managed to survive.
My dad was always offshore and mother was nuts, bet you can handle this with time.

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Kids at school might be dealing their moms Ozempic to him.

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That’s an excellent idea and a strong possibility.

Trick I learned with two teenaged sons to get them to talk? Take them fishing or take them on a walk. Something about not having to look you in the eye, they start spilling the beans. Realize this might not be the case with every kid, but worked with mine. I was freakin’ floored to hear about some of the stuff in their heads.

At 14 might also offer to take him driving in the country. Drive out to some church parking lot somewhere. Turn the radio off, see if he starts talking.

**plus a walk might inspire healthier weight loss habits