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Message
re: 10 year old son is a crybaby
Posted on 12/28/21 at 9:47 am to olgoi khorkhoi
Posted on 12/28/21 at 9:47 am to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
How does the OT fix this shite,
You probably don't want to hear this, but he is likely developmentally delayed. The parts of his system that control emotions are not yet developed like an average 10 year old.
Sometimes this results in temper tantrums, sometimes in crying, different for different kids.
Therapy can help him process his emotions and also may help him develop more quickly.
Does he enjoy wresting? Is he good at it? He might enjoy the activity but it's not going to change his developmental cycle.
1
Posted on 12/28/21 at 9:48 am to MapGuy
I remember this kid in elementary school who would cry about everything. It was very strange. One summer he apparently went to therapy for it. 1st day back to school at recess someone says, "You're not going to cry anymore, are you?" & he immediately started balling his eyes out. I always wonder what became of that kid.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 9:48 am to olgoi khorkhoi
Could it be more obvious that your son has mental issues? You’re creating a sociopath by denying him mental health treatment. Thanks for giving our society another serial killer.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 9:55 am to grizzlylongcut
Masculinity taken to the extreme where it is no longer healthy.
Masculinity, like everything, can be unhealthy when taken to an extreme that distorts what it’s about.
Masculinity, like everything, can be unhealthy when taken to an extreme that distorts what it’s about.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 10:04 am to olgoi khorkhoi
It sounds like you've done everything wrong to react to it. How would ignoring, laughing, or shaming him for it work to alleviate the behavior?
It seems like the one thing you haven't done is actually talk to him and say "why are you disappointed," you know, actually have a conversation with him, instead of belittling him. Some parents don't think they can ever speak to their children like they're actual people.
Kids are going to be what they are. You aren't going to "toughen" him up into whatever vision you had of him if that's not his personality.
People keep saying "ignore him." You've already tried that, it didn't work so why would you continue to try something that doesn't garner the desired response? There is something that your son will respond to, you may need a therapist to help you out with that, but I'd start by just talking him through his frustrations/disappointments instead of just expecting it to go away or belittling him for it. Maybe start to teach him that discussing your issues is the healthier way to resolve them.
It seems like the one thing you haven't done is actually talk to him and say "why are you disappointed," you know, actually have a conversation with him, instead of belittling him. Some parents don't think they can ever speak to their children like they're actual people.
Kids are going to be what they are. You aren't going to "toughen" him up into whatever vision you had of him if that's not his personality.
People keep saying "ignore him." You've already tried that, it didn't work so why would you continue to try something that doesn't garner the desired response? There is something that your son will respond to, you may need a therapist to help you out with that, but I'd start by just talking him through his frustrations/disappointments instead of just expecting it to go away or belittling him for it. Maybe start to teach him that discussing your issues is the healthier way to resolve them.
This post was edited on 12/28/21 at 11:06 am
Posted on 12/28/21 at 10:15 am to olgoi khorkhoi
Some kids your son’s age don’t know how to cope with frustration, so it wells up until they pop. Putting him in a full nelson or whatever is just going to make it worse. It will also make it worse if everyone else in his family shines a light on it and makes him feel like it’s him versus everyone else.
If he wants to be by himself for a minute then let him and tell everyone else to leave him alone. Don’t expect him to know how to deal with things if everyone around him handles their own frustrations by laughing at him and generally acting shitty. If he starts throwing his things around the room then take them away and tell him he can have them back when he can show he can control himself. You can set consequences without necessarily being a hardass. Be an example of how you want him to react, and try like hell to remind yourself that he’s just a kid.
If he’s playing baseball or whatever and he starts crying, don’t even react or go out there unless a bone is sticking out of his skin or something similar.
Ultimately, no one reading your post really knows how you should handle your son. My best guideline is the one my dad used when I was a kid: try to react how Sheriff Andy Taylor would.
If he wants to be by himself for a minute then let him and tell everyone else to leave him alone. Don’t expect him to know how to deal with things if everyone around him handles their own frustrations by laughing at him and generally acting shitty. If he starts throwing his things around the room then take them away and tell him he can have them back when he can show he can control himself. You can set consequences without necessarily being a hardass. Be an example of how you want him to react, and try like hell to remind yourself that he’s just a kid.
If he’s playing baseball or whatever and he starts crying, don’t even react or go out there unless a bone is sticking out of his skin or something similar.
Ultimately, no one reading your post really knows how you should handle your son. My best guideline is the one my dad used when I was a kid: try to react how Sheriff Andy Taylor would.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 10:27 am to LSUFanHouston
quote:
You probably don't want to hear this, but he is likely developmentally delayed
My oldest son is seven. He is on the spectrum though I do not believe his autism is severe but he does have development issues. He also has melt downs though not many because we have learned to deal with him. I used to be like the OP and most of you here thinking a strong hand is all I would ever need to keep my kids in line. This is definitely not the case with either of my kids and thankfully I learned this early on.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 10:51 am to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
estimation for olgoi khorkhoi as a man just frickin plummeted
His coach just turned into a pumpkin
Posted on 12/28/21 at 10:51 am to olgoi khorkhoi
In all seriousness could be anxiety issues. See a specialist
Posted on 12/28/21 at 10:59 am to olgoi khorkhoi
Have you considered loosening up and letting the kid grow up? I was a bitch at 10, I'm still a bitch, but I'm productive with a family so it's fine. I know a kid who was a ballerina-soft with a lisp at 12 who is now a frat star who likes to work on trucks and slay.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:00 am to SammyTiger
quote:
Masculinity taken to the extreme where it is no longer healthy.
Like what?
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:08 am to Goldrush25
My advice.
Tell your kid you understand that it's something he's struggling to control right now, and that you are ok with it.
Then tell him, it's going to get better over time, but you have to work at it.
Then ask him if he is ok with "toughening him up" a little bit. He will say yes because he hates this more than you do.
Then, treat each episode as an opportunity to work on it. Give positive feedback if it gets better. If it's bad, reflect on it calmly AFTER he gets over it.
I'm not a psychologist, I'm just a Dad.
Tell your kid you understand that it's something he's struggling to control right now, and that you are ok with it.
Then tell him, it's going to get better over time, but you have to work at it.
Then ask him if he is ok with "toughening him up" a little bit. He will say yes because he hates this more than you do.
Then, treat each episode as an opportunity to work on it. Give positive feedback if it gets better. If it's bad, reflect on it calmly AFTER he gets over it.
I'm not a psychologist, I'm just a Dad.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:12 am to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
Not only do we not own a gaming system, we don't own a TV. They have 60 acres to roam.
Why? You personally have over 12,000 posts on an internet message board but refuse to let your kids participate in what is completely normal behavior for modern day American kids.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:14 am to grizzlylongcut
quote:
Like what?
Commuting in a 3/4-ton truck is kind of the Rubicon of toxic masculinity.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:27 am to HouseMom
quote:
modern day American kids.
Most modern American kids are worthless weaklings primarily because of the advent of video games and television.
This post was edited on 12/28/21 at 11:30 am
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:36 am to USMEagles
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/30/25 at 5:52 pm
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:50 am to grizzlylongcut
quote:
Like what?
Like thinking any show of emotion is a weakness to the point you don’t tell your family you love them?
Thinking you have to toughen up your kid is justification for beating on them (not a shot at OP just an example)
Denying mental health issues existing up to the point you put a bullet in your head.
This post was edited on 12/28/21 at 11:54 am
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:50 am to HouseMom
quote:
refuse to let your kids participate in what is completely normal behavior for modern day American kids.
frick modern day American kids.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:51 am to olgoi khorkhoi
Sounds like he needs his arse beat
Give him something to cry about, as my dad used to tell me
Posted on 12/28/21 at 11:53 am to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
frick modern day American kids
Can't imagine why your kids has an issue
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