re: 1 year Sober Today.

quote:

---

Morpheus

---

Congratulations, man, really happy for you. That goes for anytime anyone does something deliberate to take responsibility for and control of their own lives. Trust me - you won't be the only one benefiting from your example.

It's interesting to me that you described essentially a happy, "normal" childhood with good parents. It sounds like you don't really have any/much buried dysfunction or trauma lying at the root of what was your drinking problem.

Given this, I would respectfully urge you to refrain from thinking of yourself as somehow overall on the defensive and at the mercy of, for life, the bottle. I think it's a long-term destructive self image to have.

I think the more likely reality is you are NOT defined by this weakness. So building it up into this massive thing that you have to DAILY hold yourself back from, or else it's just off a cliff...is just not long-term healthy. (It's also a construct that is not really supported by the science at all.)

I'm not telling you to drink, per se. But I think it would be better for you if you eventually got to where having a glass of wine with friends or whatever wouldn't be some crazy fraught, triggering event. The percentage of those that this model fits for is likely less than 10-15%.

Just one guy's two cents. It's a vote of confidence IN YOU, FWIW.

Congrats good sir!!

I just made 695 days. Bearing down on two years. Best thing I have ever done got myself, my family, and my life in general.

Just one day at a time.

Congratulations! You just told my story. I have been sober sense July 10 2016. Life has never been this good, keeps getting better and better.

quote:

---

Thats absolutely awful advice. Please dont say that here.

There are others reading this and this, what you said is wrong.

Some people need to quit. This is no joke.

---

Don't encourage him, he's done this shite in other threads about sobriety.

To everyone struggling with alcoholism, please ignore that dude. His advice is poisonous.

Honestly here this part is touchy because I do realize those relationships would help with certain types of drinkers.

For me I shut it off completely thought good and hard listed the reason not too and after the first 90 days I didn't think about it quite as much and my body was clear of the poison and I was sleeping better.

Another thing that really helps is talking about openly with intelligent reasoning with other people if and when it comes up. In why you decided to do it? Have a great story. Don't give them the one about a late night with dirty Mike and the boys. Anyone would quit after that. Lol.
Seriously, tell them how its improved your life.
Ill bet you mine it will

quote:

---

Thats absolutely awful advice. Please dont say that here.

There are others reading this and this, what you said is wrong.

Some people need to quit. This is no joke.

---

I'm not joking. And it's possibly wrong for some people, but the opposite is almost certainly not the a priori truth for the majority of people.

In any event, YOU needed to quit the specific relationship with alcohol you had. I completely agree. And YOU DID. That doesn't mean you can't have a different relationship with it. There are other modes than BINGE EVERY DAY and TEETOTAL. And we have long lives, so we aren't even the same people necessarily from decade to decade.

I was happy to hear you didn't go to AA to be told untrue and unscientific things as received orthodoxy. But your response to me makes it seem as if you have accepted a lot of that orthodoxy without even going.

You do you. I'm literally just giving you a different perspective that has lots of validity for millions of people. Even just based on the fortitude you've shown over the past year, I choose to believe YOU are stronger than some fragile lily laid at the altar of demon alcohol. Perhaps that was even once true. But it isn't today. And I think it's condescending and disrespectful (to you) to pretend as if it's true for everyone - including you. Peace

quote:

---

I'm not telling you to drink, per se. But I think it would be better for you if you eventually got to where having a glass of wine with friends or whatever wouldn't be some crazy fraught, triggering event.

---

You couldn’t be more wrong about this. In time, some people’s brain chemistry changes so that any alcohol at all opens a floodgate. If you haven’t been there, you can’t understand, and you damn sure shouldn’t be giving advice.
I agree it doesn’t have to be a constant monkey on the back, but if you’re allergic to shellfish and it can kill you, you just don’t eat shellfish. Sometimes you go to a crawfish boil and it sucks to be that way. And you know what, that’s just the way it is.

quote:

---

But what gets me is when I go out. This only happens maybe 2-3 times a year, I don’t go out to bars much. But when I do, I overdo it. I can’t stop myself, I’m slamming back drinks and before I know it I’m way too drunk

---

This was me for a long time, problem was I was in the bar scene 2-3 nights a week. Figured out later in life, I was chasing that buzz feeling. Once I got there, I enjoyed it too much and wanted to prolong it.

Once that realization hit, I stopped all together for awhile. Now, I’ll have a drink every now and then, but won’t ever drink more than 2 drinks a night.

Kids also changed my outlook. I don’t like drinking in front of them and never want to get drunk and risk missing time with them in the morning

don’t get the alky mentality, and I’ve done volunteer work with our EAP