re: I’ve never seen any Star Wars films. Do I watch in order?

If you want to do chronological order, I THINK it's this

Phantom Menace
Attack of the Clones
*Clone Wars series*
Revenge of the Sith
Solo
**fan movie- Vader Episode 1**
Rogue One
Star Wars (A New Hope)
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Force Awakens
The Last Jedi

Honestly though, I think that's a waste of time.

Go find Harmy's Despecialized versions of the original trilogy (those are the closest thing you'd get to the actual films we saw in the theater).
The effects might be dated, but they're practical, not CGI- they made ILM's reputation with that.
And those are the films that inspired people to love the story.

All the rest- the prequels, sequels, spinoffs- those are just the studio cashing in on the good will spawned by those first 3. If they don't do anything for you, the others won't either.

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Last Jedi is like someone made it their mission to take everything you learned from the previous movies and shove it straight up your arse, and not in a cool, novel, unexpected plot twist way, but in a terrible, spiteful, and all around unenjoyable way. It is widely considered, among nerds, to be the most insulting movie ever made, even worse than all-female Ghostbusters. It's not insulting as in it challenges you to think differently, more like it's insulting your intelligence assuming you won't notice how completely nonsensical the plots, the characters, and the deus ex machina are.

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Best explanation ever

Wow. We seem to get these threads a lot.

What you need to do is find Harmy's "Despecialized" editions somewhere out there on the internet.

Then watch Star Wars (no bloody Episode IV, no bloody "New Hope", just Star Wars). Then watch The Empire Strikes Back. THEN watch Return of the Jedi.

Then never worry about anything labeled or branded "Star Wars" ever again.

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Just stick with the original trilogy. Don't waste your time with anything else.

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Nailed it.

Episode 4, 5, 6

Revenge of the Sith is a better movie than it gets credit for.

TBH, replace Christensen with another actor and it might be a great movie.

Wait until you're on your deathbed.

Watch:
Star Wars
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
The first trailer for Phantom Menace

Then die happy, with the assumption that the Star Wars franchise was moving forward in an awesome fashion.

I'd watch:

Rogue One
A New Hope
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
The Force Awakens

Then, think really hard about how far you want to take this. There are 4 more movies (not counting Solo) but they're going to change how you see the rest and you may always regret knowing they existed.

Just stopping by to say frick Rian Johnson, again.

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I recommend the Hatchet Order:

Rogue One, A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, Solo, Return of the Jedi, The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi

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I like your whole post, but am confused by the placement of Return of the Jedi here. What's the reason?

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I like your whole post, but am confused by the placement of Return of the Jedi here. What's the reason?

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You don’t want to do the prequels first because it will spoil the ending of Empire Strikes Back. However, the tension in Return of the Jedi is far more palpable if you know the stories of the three big players (The Emperor, Luke, and Vader) as they grapple in those epic throne room scenes. It helps you to understand about the force and how it works.