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Started By
Message
Here's a text based "choose your own adventure" game to find the 49ers a QB
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:08 pm
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:08 pm
17
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:13 pm to Draconian Sanctions
I went with Dragon Penis.
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:13 pm to Draconian Sanctions
i'm about to draft my future QB
this is a lot more in depth and less funny than i thought it would be
this is a lot more in depth and less funny than i thought it would be
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:14 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart:
1) Brian Hoyer
2) Brad Kaaya
3) Christian Ponder
FA money spent: $15 million
Draft picks spent: R2
quote:
Your depth chart gets knocked slightly for its lack of major upside, but there's no denying you're a savvy GM who knows what he's doing.
grade: B+
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:17 pm to SlowFlowPro
Mine was:
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart:
1) Deshaun Watson
2) Matt Barkley
3) Christian Ponder
FA money spent: $9 million
Draft picks spent: R1 (#2 overall)
It's a new era in San Francisco -- Deshaun Watson has been anointed the starter from Day One. Matt Barkley may provide some semblance of competition in camp, but it's clear that you and the coaches are rooting for Watson to win out. That may work, because Watson's an experienced rookie, with three years of starting under his belt. He's sure to have some growing pains, but you're throwing him feet first to the fire and hoping he can survive.
Given the rookie starting, your backups make sense. Both Matt Barkley and Christian Ponder may be limited, but they're smart QBs with starting experience under their belts. Neither one will require much coaching, which should put all attention on Watson. There's no guarantee that he'll work out, but you've put him in a good situation here.
grade: B+
This post was edited on 2/7/17 at 5:19 pm
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:23 pm to SlowFlowPro
Jones
Kaaya
Ponder
B+
I give myself an F-.
Those qbs wouldn't win 4 games.
Kaaya
Ponder
B+
I give myself an F-.
Those qbs wouldn't win 4 games.
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:23 pm to Draconian Sanctions
1) Watson
2) Schaub
3) Ponder
Grade A-
But my characters fiancee left in game because I didn't have a QB signed before Schaub
2) Schaub
3) Ponder
Grade A-
But my characters fiancee left in game because I didn't have a QB signed before Schaub
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:26 pm to rolltide32
quote:
But my characters fiancee left in game because I didn't have a QB signed before Schaub
Women, eh?
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:29 pm to Draconian Sanctions
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart:
1) Brian Hoyer
2) Deshaun Watson
3) Christian Ponder
FA money spent: $15 million
Draft picks spent: R1 (#2 overall) You've invested a lot in this QB position -- luring over an expensive (future backup) like Brian Hoyer, and drafting Deshaun Watson at #2.
quote:
You've done an excellent job nailing down your depth chart. Some day, you may watch with pride, as the NFL hands over the "Executive of the Year" trophy to -- John Lynch. grade: A
Now let me help the Saints
This post was edited on 2/7/17 at 5:31 pm
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:32 pm to DownSouthCrawfish
quote:
Now let me help the Saints
Well it said this was the first one in a series so I'm sure they'll be a Saints one eventually
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:33 pm to DownSouthCrawfish
oh frick all that. I did the same shite except picked mike glennon over hoyer and got an F 
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:34 pm to Draconian Sanctions
Hoyer
Trubisky
Ponder
A-
Get on my level
Trubisky
Ponder
A-
Get on my level
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:35 pm to Draconian Sanctions
quote:
Owner Jed York mentions that he must have some serious mojo, because his wife, ESPN reporter Samantha Ponder, is a genuine hottie.
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart:
1) Mike Glennon
2) Deshaun Watson
3) Christian Ponder
FA money spent: $19 million
Draft picks spent: R1 (#2 overall) You've added a lot of talent to your depth chart via the draft and free agency, but there's at least one person who's not happy about it: Mike Glennon. In fact, he's pissed. He signed a contract with you, expecting to compete for the first time, only to see a high pick stroll right in and (presumably) be handed the starting job over him, just as Jameis Winston was in Tampa Bay. Deshaun Watson may turn out to be the next Winston, but you haven't put him in a great situation here.
The locker room feels toxic, with Glennon not happy about his role. In fact, it may benefit you to try and trade Glennon now, and roll with Watson+Ponder as your only two quarterbacks -- that would have been a combo that makes more sense. Right now, you're making a turkey-peanut butter sandwich. Both OK ingredients, but they don't fit together.
grade: D
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:37 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart:
1) Brian Hoyer
2) Brad Kaaya
3) Christian Ponder
FA money spent: $15 million
Draft picks spent: R2
I went with the same. (2nd try) first try i told coach frick of we dont need 3 qbs, we need defense and o line help. I was redirected to the starting page
This post was edited on 2/7/17 at 5:38 pm
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:55 pm to Draconian Sanctions
Jimmy Garappolo
Christian Ponder
Chad Kelly
B
Christian Ponder
Chad Kelly
B
Posted on 2/7/17 at 5:56 pm to Draconian Sanctions
1st try, I got cucked, by Mike Shanahan. 
2nd try:
2nd try:
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart:
1) Jimmy Garoppolo
2) Christian Ponder
3) C.J. Beathard
FA money spent: $31 million
Draft picks spent: R1 (#2 overall), R2, R4
Coach Kyle Shanahan and the entire front office are concerned that you gave up too much for Jimmy Garoppolo. He may turn out to be a solid starter, but there's no guarantee of that.
Fortunately, the rest of your depth chart protects you well. Christian Ponder may be hated by NFL fans, but he's an experienced veteran who can fill in as a starter in the case of emergency.
C.J. Beathard is also in a good situation for himself here, with two veterans taking the pressure off him. He should develop into a high-level backup for you. If Garoppolo works out, Jimmy G. and C.J. may be locking down your depth chart for the next ten years. Overall, you've done a solid job with this depth chart, dinged somewhat for the natural risk of the Garoppolo deal.
grade: B
This post was edited on 2/7/17 at 5:59 pm
Posted on 2/7/17 at 6:02 pm to tWildcat
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart: 1) Mike Glennon 2) Brad Kaaya 3) Antonio Pipkin FA money spent: $19 million Draft picks spent: R2 Let the QB competition begin!
Posted on 2/7/17 at 6:03 pm to Draconian Sanctions
i got to a page that said this
and had this as one of the comments
quote:
Owner Jed York is not happy with your stewardship so far. You better turn this thing around, fast
and had this as one of the comments
quote:
If Jed is not happy I made the right decision
This post was edited on 2/7/17 at 6:56 pm
Posted on 2/7/17 at 6:03 pm to Draconian Sanctions
I failed to land a qb, so my fiancé left me for reggie mckenzie:
Your search for a QB has taken a turn.
Suddenly, you find yourself wearing a cocktail dress, and dancing seductively for Reggie McKenzie. One thing leads to another, and you spend the whole night as a courtesan entertaining your sultan master. There’s some spanking, and one awkward moment where you scald your testicles on candle wax.
The next morning, you lie naked bed with your fiancée, and Reggie McKenzie, smoking a post-coital cigar (wait, is that a cigar?). Reggie turns to you, and confesses:
That he is NOT Reggie McKenzie. He’s just some random black dude, living in Oakland, that your racist fiancée thought was Reggie McKenzie.
In a way, you’re upset – but in a way, you’ve already known this yourself. You’ve ALWAYS known this.
It strikes you: the reason you took this job in the first place, as the assistant to a GM, is because you like the humiliation. You like serving your master.
You decide to quit your job with the 49ers and live out your dream: as a submissive sex slave in the BDSM underworld.
You didn’t find your QB, but you found your calling.
Congrats (?)
Your search for a QB has taken a turn.
Suddenly, you find yourself wearing a cocktail dress, and dancing seductively for Reggie McKenzie. One thing leads to another, and you spend the whole night as a courtesan entertaining your sultan master. There’s some spanking, and one awkward moment where you scald your testicles on candle wax.
The next morning, you lie naked bed with your fiancée, and Reggie McKenzie, smoking a post-coital cigar (wait, is that a cigar?). Reggie turns to you, and confesses:
That he is NOT Reggie McKenzie. He’s just some random black dude, living in Oakland, that your racist fiancée thought was Reggie McKenzie.
In a way, you’re upset – but in a way, you’ve already known this yourself. You’ve ALWAYS known this.
It strikes you: the reason you took this job in the first place, as the assistant to a GM, is because you like the humiliation. You like serving your master.
You decide to quit your job with the 49ers and live out your dream: as a submissive sex slave in the BDSM underworld.
You didn’t find your QB, but you found your calling.
Congrats (?)
This post was edited on 2/7/17 at 6:05 pm
Posted on 2/7/17 at 6:06 pm to Spider John
quote:
Congratulations, you have fulfilled your mandated and filled your depth chart:
1) Brian Hoyer
2) Deshaun Watson
3) Christian Ponder
FA money spent: $15 million
Draft picks spent: R1 (#2 overall)
You've invested a lot in this QB position -- luring over an expensive (future backup) like Brian Hoyer, and drafting Deshaun Watson at #2.
All that said, people in the building feel like the investments were more than worth it! There's no doubt that your legacy will sink or swim with Watson, but you've set him up in a great position to succeed here. Both Hoyer and 3rd string Christian Ponder have starting experience, and can hold down the fort as long as Watson needs to get ready. Those vets won't need major reps (especially given Hoyer's familiarity with Shanahan), which should allow your coaching staff to devote as much time as they need toward Watson's growth.
You've done an excellent job nailing down your depth chart. Some day, you may watch with pride, as the NFL hands over the "Executive of the Year" trophy to -- John Lynch.
grade: A
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