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Dating A Runner When You're Not One

Posted on 8/20/18 at 9:37 am
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
65701 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 9:37 am
Be gentle.

I may be progressing into a relationship with someone who is a regular runner and marathon finisher. 34 over the last 11 years to be exact. I'm not a runner at all. I can tell she feels even short runs would be fun together.

Anyone have any advice or experience with this? As a lifelong asthmatic, I always had to be careful playing sports, football being the the one that winded me the most. I do workout as I'm now 47 and have to stay fit.

Posted by gizmoflak
Member since May 2007
11660 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 9:45 am to
Compromise:

You run with her, she lifts with you
Posted by lsu777
Lake Charles
Member since Jan 2004
31048 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 9:47 am to
quote:

You run with her, she lifts with you


thats a good suggestion and also just explain to her your situation. You don't enjoy running and enjoy lifting to stay in shape. She should appreciate that your are open and honest and atleast you do workout.

if not, and the pussy is worth it, fill up your inhalers and get to stepping son.
Posted by Rep520
Member since Mar 2018
10414 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 9:51 am to
I like powerlifting and strongman. My wife isn't really into working out beyond general health.

Part of a relationship is compromise and understanding and supporting the other person's hobbies even if you don't get into them yourself. The greater the ability to so that, the more successful the relationship is.

So ultimately, find your own balance.
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
65701 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 10:09 am to
Thanks. It appears she does this as a family thing as well. Twin sister and brother choose marathons in different states each year when possible. They're not super competitive re: beating their PB or whatever, just more of a challenge and for fun. Big into hiking, though. Brother lives in Montana. Incredibly nice family and I've found myself really wanting to make her happy. She's giving golf a chance, so...

I do have inhalers. Shitty deal on the asthma. Any advice how to start building endurance? I'm telling you, 1/2 mile today without stopping would be tough.
Posted by olemissfan26
MS
Member since Apr 2012
6238 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 10:10 am to
I’d get her to pick days She knows she will be at a slower pace/tempo and invite you on those days to start. If she’s trying to get you to jump in cold turkey on her long run days it’s going to be rough for both of you. I’d start slow and jump in on her “recovery” days if she has any built into her training.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83571 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 10:12 am to
I tried to get my wife to run with me for a long time but eventually gave up.

Even though I would love to train with my wife, I have to realize she just doesn’t like to run. Like at all.

It’s kinda similar to her trying to get me to commit to yoga. It’s just never sticks.

I’d just be honest with her and spend time together doing things y’all both enjoy.
Posted by hogbody
Fayetteville
Member since Oct 2008
4919 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 10:17 am to
Make sure she even wants you to first. Maybe she uses that time to get away to herself

I think it’s good for couples to have different hobbies as well as things they like to do together
Posted by LasVegasTiger
Idaho
Member since Apr 2008
8064 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 10:47 am to
quote:

Make sure she even wants you to first. Maybe she uses that time to get away to herself

I think it’s good for couples to have different hobbies as well as things they like to do together


Gotta agree here. I took up running two years ago, my wife wanted to try and she hated it. Didn't push it, I actually enjoy when I run alone. Gives me time to myself. We have a 9 month old too, so it is my at peace time. Haha. Wife does spin classes, I tried it and hated that. So it worked out well.
Posted by Black n Gold
Member since Feb 2009
15409 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 10:56 am to
Some individuals get bitter when their S/O doesn't attempt, or in some cases excel, in their exercise routine of choice. If she's not bringing it up or constantly badgering you about it, I would just stick to your current forms of exercise. My wife and I are both in our mid-30s. We celebrate the fact that each of us are still fit and exercise routinely. We definitely don't dwell in the fact that we enjoy different forms of exercise.
Posted by Rep520
Member since Mar 2018
10414 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 10:58 am to
quote:

I do have inhalers. Shitty deal on the asthma. Any advice how to start building endurance? I'm telling you, 1/2 mile today without stopping would be tough.


As others posted, I'd talk with her about whether she wants you to. It's ok not to share all hobbies, but if she wants you to try, you could give it a go.

Does she do track workouts? That's the easiest for a nonrunner to start. You're never more than 100 yards from the car. Road running, you get a half mile from home and start puking and you have a bad time.

Track work is the easiest building block because it allows you max control over workload. I am not much of a runner, so I'll defer on building running capacity.

Some lower impact stuff on off days has helped me build a general cardio base, though. It's summer, so hopping in a pool and treading water for 5 min is the sort of thing I'll do.
Posted by ruzil
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2012
16905 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 12:08 pm to
Ride next to her on your bicycle.
Posted by 3nOut
Central Texas, TX
Member since Jan 2013
28895 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 12:19 pm to
quote:

Some individuals get bitter when their S/O doesn't attempt, or in some cases excel, in their exercise routine of choice. If she's not bringing it up or constantly badgering you about it, I would just stick to your current forms of exercise. My wife and I are both in our mid-30s. We celebrate the fact that each of us are still fit and exercise routinely. We definitely don't dwell in the fact that we enjoy different forms of exercise.




this. i'm an endurance runner and she likes HIIT classes and tennis. our twains don't meet to much.

i'll do her classes when they're free on Saturdays on occasion and then she gets pissed that i show up all her friends and i'm terrible at tennis and she hit me with a racket when trying to teach me.

she's slow AF and hates running.

we can do some slow jogs and hikes together, but for the most part we do our fitness separately.
Posted by Hu_Flung_Pu
Central, LA
Member since Jan 2013
22164 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 1:49 pm to
I'm lucky neither of us likes to run at all.
Posted by bogart
Member since Dec 2013
1202 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 2:08 pm to
Next time she runs come out of nowhere about 1 block from your house and race her home.
Posted by tke_swamprat
Houma, LA
Member since Aug 2004
9759 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 2:14 pm to
Be supportive during training. Drop off water for her, etc. Even jump in for a mile here and there.

But invite her to the gym with you! She could use some strength training.
Posted by Rep520
Member since Mar 2018
10414 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 2:26 pm to
quote:

Next time she runs come out of nowhere about 1 block from your house and race her home.


Does she carry pepper spray? Might not want to come completely out of nowhere then.
Posted by Paluka
One State Over
Member since Dec 2010
10763 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 3:03 pm to
I dated a runner once. I got up to 8 miles and said "screw this!" I do not like to run for distance but I'll do some sprints. We compromised and played tennis together instead. She did her running and I hit the weights.
Posted by jimbeam
University of LSU
Member since Oct 2011
75703 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 4:38 pm to
Be glad you have a woman who exercises at all. Have you seen America?
Posted by KG6
Member since Aug 2009
10920 posts
Posted on 8/20/18 at 5:43 pm to
quote:

34 over the last 11 years


That's a pretty dedicated runner. Theres no reason you have to do it, but I would be prepared for it to be a major part of their life.

On the flip side, you'll have quite a bit of time for yourself on weekend mornings. And likely you'll have a designated driver on the weekends for a few months out of the year.
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