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Started By
Message
Your biggest cooking fail?
Posted on 4/7/13 at 10:43 am
Posted on 4/7/13 at 10:43 am
Sorry if this is a common thread. I'm bored.
I was assigned the meat for huge family noon meal on either Christmas or Easter(doesn't matter as both of those go the same here). I buy a huge chuck roll. Plan was to smoke it for 4-6 hours, then finish in oven overnight.
Drank all day with two of my BILs(prety sure we had a crawfish boil). One of them volunteered to assist. We stayed up late and got into the Charter pretty good. Time to make the move to the oven. I set it at 250 or so.
First fail. We dropped the roast on the patio. Plop. Picked up some nice grit and a leaf or two. Eventually got it in the oven.
Woke up, had coffee. BIL comes into kitchen. "Let's check on the roast". I open the oven to feel heat, but see an empty oven. He says, "we didn't put it in that one". Oooops.
Cooked it as hard as I could from then to luch. Came out closer to roast beef. I was pissed. Most of the family had no idea.
I was assigned the meat for huge family noon meal on either Christmas or Easter(doesn't matter as both of those go the same here). I buy a huge chuck roll. Plan was to smoke it for 4-6 hours, then finish in oven overnight.
Drank all day with two of my BILs(prety sure we had a crawfish boil). One of them volunteered to assist. We stayed up late and got into the Charter pretty good. Time to make the move to the oven. I set it at 250 or so.
First fail. We dropped the roast on the patio. Plop. Picked up some nice grit and a leaf or two. Eventually got it in the oven.
Woke up, had coffee. BIL comes into kitchen. "Let's check on the roast". I open the oven to feel heat, but see an empty oven. He says, "we didn't put it in that one". Oooops.
Cooked it as hard as I could from then to luch. Came out closer to roast beef. I was pissed. Most of the family had no idea.
18
Posted on 4/7/13 at 10:57 am to AlxTgr
Never admit to dropping it even in passing, your arse will be beaten into the ground. Tell your BIL what happens in drunk land stays there. 
Posted on 4/7/13 at 10:58 am to AlxTgr
not me but one time my dad was making the family chicken fried steak and accidentally used powdered sugar instead of flour 
didn't take horrible, but we give him a hard time about it to this day
didn't take horrible, but we give him a hard time about it to this day
Posted on 4/7/13 at 11:04 am to I Ham That I Ham
Made this potato soup that was nasty. Tasted like the potatoes were old or something. 
Posted on 4/7/13 at 11:08 am to AlxTgr
My Yankee arse tried to make jambalaya one night for my girlfriend. That night ended with us breaking up. The jambalaya was that bad. We got back together, but I'm no longer allowed to try and make jambalaya.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 11:15 am to AlxTgr
National Championship game January 2008. I wanted to try a new rib technique, and followed the recipe precisely.
The problem is the recipe had a typo. While I thought the process was weird as frick, I still followed it.
Rib jerky FTW
The problem is the recipe had a typo. While I thought the process was weird as frick, I still followed it.
Rib jerky FTW
Posted on 4/7/13 at 11:22 am to AlxTgr
Decided to smoke the Thanksgiving turkey for my wife's family in Western NY. Didn't account for the 30 degree temps in my cook time. Had pasta on Thanksgiving, which was no big deals since they are Italian.
On Friday, we enjoyed the turkey.
On Friday, we enjoyed the turkey.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 11:43 am to AlxTgr
Tried to make pasta carbonara once. Ended up with sticky noodles with chunks of scrambled eggs, instead of a velvety rich sauce
Posted on 4/7/13 at 11:47 am to AlxTgr
Put on a pot of red beans for a big potluck St Pattys party with the neighbor the next day. Got drunk and spent the night out chasing tail. Left the pot on low but still burned the shite out it and my house smelled like burnt feathers.
I made it much worse when i started putting it down the garbage disposal. The disposal couldnt handle the load and the p-trap beneath the sink blew out and filled that cabinet with this putrid burnt crap. Only about 6 or 8 beers did i start to feel betterand laugh abut the situation.
I made it much worse when i started putting it down the garbage disposal. The disposal couldnt handle the load and the p-trap beneath the sink blew out and filled that cabinet with this putrid burnt crap. Only about 6 or 8 beers did i start to feel betterand laugh abut the situation.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 12:03 pm to DonChowder
quote:
The disposal couldnt handle the load and the p-trap beneath the sink blew out and filled that cabinet with this putrid burnt crap.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 12:36 pm to 9Fiddy
When I was young and dumb, I wanted to treat my folks to steamed snow crab legs. I steamed them in my wok just as I normally do, but these were stored in a deep freeze, so when I served them, they were still cold in the center. I put them back in the wok for more steaming time and I didn't notice that the wok had run out of water. The crab juice/fat, etc began to burn (nasty smelling too) and set off the smoke detector, dinner ruined.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 1:38 pm to AlxTgr
I tried heating up a left over boiled egg in the microwave when I was little.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 1:42 pm to AlxTgr
My first gumbo ever. I was scared of burning the roux, since that is all you ever hear about. Well, not only did I not burn the roux, but damn it, it was white. The gumbo tasted "ok," but white gumbo is just not right.
Luckily, this was for my Yankee family that did not know any better. My gumbos are now are pretty good.
This past thanksgiving, my first time doing the turkey. Got a farm raised turkey. Very nice. Decided to brine it. Did not listen to people on this board that told me to cut the salt in the brine despite what the recipes said. The turkey was ok, but too salty.
I'll know better for next year.
Luckily, this was for my Yankee family that did not know any better. My gumbos are now are pretty good.
This past thanksgiving, my first time doing the turkey. Got a farm raised turkey. Very nice. Decided to brine it. Did not listen to people on this board that told me to cut the salt in the brine despite what the recipes said. The turkey was ok, but too salty.
I'll know better for next year.
This post was edited on 4/7/13 at 1:44 pm
Posted on 4/7/13 at 3:30 pm to AlxTgr
I think it would be amusing to tell you about Lucy's attempts at cooking.
18 years ago while we were dating...
She decided she wanted fried bacon. She knew what 'fry' meant. Pot full of oil. Turn heat up to high. She knew what bacon meant. Open pack of raw bacon, throw it into hot oil. There was an explosion of sorts.
16 years ago during 1st year of marriage...
She wanted to impress me by actually cooking a meal while I was in night class. She looked up a recipe for Salmon. Went to the grocery and bought ingredients. When I got home she served it. It was green. I took a bite and said "I'm sorry, dear, I can't eat this." She tried a bite and said "That's OK, I can't eat it either."
We put our plates on the floor for the black lab (who will eat anything). The dog sniffed it and walked away.
12 years ago... After 4 years of not trying her hand at cooking she said that she volunteered to make brownies for the Xmas party at work. They came out smelling and tasting like brownies. But they were the size and consistency of dry grape nuts cereal. I know that's hard for your to visualize but think brownie pellets that you have to eat with a spoon.
That was her last attempt. Lucy has never cooked since.
18 years ago while we were dating...
She decided she wanted fried bacon. She knew what 'fry' meant. Pot full of oil. Turn heat up to high. She knew what bacon meant. Open pack of raw bacon, throw it into hot oil. There was an explosion of sorts.
16 years ago during 1st year of marriage...
She wanted to impress me by actually cooking a meal while I was in night class. She looked up a recipe for Salmon. Went to the grocery and bought ingredients. When I got home she served it. It was green. I took a bite and said "I'm sorry, dear, I can't eat this." She tried a bite and said "That's OK, I can't eat it either."
We put our plates on the floor for the black lab (who will eat anything). The dog sniffed it and walked away.
12 years ago... After 4 years of not trying her hand at cooking she said that she volunteered to make brownies for the Xmas party at work. They came out smelling and tasting like brownies. But they were the size and consistency of dry grape nuts cereal. I know that's hard for your to visualize but think brownie pellets that you have to eat with a spoon.
That was her last attempt. Lucy has never cooked since.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 3:38 pm to Zach
I haven't cooked anything too adventurous so no real cooking screw-ups other than dropping a pizza topping side down on the floor when taking it out of the oven. I was so pissed. I was house sitting and there was no food in the house and I was a wee bit drunk and it was 3am.
Oh, a few years back, I finished a steak in the oven and due to alcohol, I forgot it had been in the over and I grabbed the handle to tilt the pan to spoon some of the juices on the steak. OUCH!!!
Oh, a few years back, I finished a steak in the oven and due to alcohol, I forgot it had been in the over and I grabbed the handle to tilt the pan to spoon some of the juices on the steak. OUCH!!!
Posted on 4/7/13 at 3:49 pm to TigerMyth36
My biggest cooking mistake happens at least once a week. My dishwasher and my oven are side by side and both have drop down doors. I keep going to the wrong machine.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 3:50 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
My first gumbo ever.
ditto
Posted on 4/7/13 at 3:52 pm to Rohan2Reed
quote:
Your biggest cooking fail?
Sweet Potato Gnocchi. Ruined.
Posted on 4/7/13 at 3:54 pm to Rohan2Reed
when I first started cooking I looked up a pork loin recipe which included the recipe for a rub. the rub recipe was for a big batch to save in a shaker but I unknowingly used it all on the pork loin. was the saltiest thing I have ever tried to eat. I took one bite and told the wife I couldn't serve it and ordered pizza.
Ive made jambalaya with crunchy rice a time or two back in the day.
I have also way overcooked chicken and steaks more times than I would like to admit to. usually when im drinking and trying to watch a game at the same time
Ive made jambalaya with crunchy rice a time or two back in the day.
I have also way overcooked chicken and steaks more times than I would like to admit to. usually when im drinking and trying to watch a game at the same time
This post was edited on 4/7/13 at 3:56 pm
Posted on 4/7/13 at 4:07 pm to DonChowder
You win, I almost shite my pants. Common theme here involving the alcohol, understandably. I have more of those than I can remember, my biggest actual cooking fail was trying to make a Thai coconut shrimp in college. I was a junior and had really just started branching out beyond standard Louisiana food and barbeque and stuff, had never used coconut milk for anything.
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