re: Your biggest cooking fail?

At age six, was taking egg flipper out of the drawer and flipped a butcher knife out. Stuck up perfectly centered in the top of my right foot (I was barefoot) had to pull it out of the bone where it was imbedded. Still have a nifty scar centered in the top of my foot, sixty years later.

Always careful when I remove egg flippers since that morning failure.

I have failed so many cooking efforts over my lifetime that they have blended into a nice charred, over seasoned, smokey, too tough to cut or chew blurr. Have yet to melt a hole through a cast iron skillet. Did melt an aluminum saute pan once.

Imagining rabbit shite isn't all too hard.

It must have been hard to tell her "yes honey it tastes great".

I also passed out while boiling eggs. Woke up to chunks of egg all over the kitchen. Took a while for the smell to go away

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Nothing too egregious, but I have a disturbing tendency to undercook meats while intoxicated

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In college, I broke out the grill late one night and cooked burgers for everyone. I ate last.

Next morning opened the fridge and found my half eaten, almost 100% raw burger.

Exactly! It's always juicy, sometimes maybe a little chewy, but I've not yet suffered any lasting effects so I figure it could be worse

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accidentally used powdered sugar instead of flour

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Somewhat related, Pit Grill uses the same plastic cup for butter and Tarter Sauce. Plopped the cup of butter in my son's grits and made them up as usual. He said they tasted funny.

Grits with Tarter Sauce is odd, but not a terrible as it sounds.

I was a junior, living on campus at LSU when my neighbor decided that we should try our hand at cooking red beans and rice. We walked to the A&P in the shopping center that was near the dorm, Kirby Smith. We bought a bag of beans and a bag of rice along with smoked ham hocks. We went back to the dorm and cooked our beans and ham hocks on a hot plate. We cooked that stuff for three hours. After we took the beans off of the hot plate, we cooked our rice. We were ready for a feast after we cooked the rice. The rice was kite paste and the beans were real crunchy. The hocks were tougher than trying to eat shoe leather. We threw that crap out and walked to Round the Corner for burgers and fries. I know that I'm old, but we had a Jerry Lewis Cinema next door to the shopping center that the A&P was in. At least we chose to eat at Round the Corner instead of McDonalds. Today, I know how to cook beans and rice. At least we didn't burn those beans.

Junior year in college, came home drunk from the bar and decided to fry some chicken tenders. I filled up the pot with oil and cranked the heat. I then wandered off for a while. I came back and it looked for all the world like the oil was still cold. I decided to test it by tossing in a piece of chicken. The next few seconds are fuzzy but I just remember a large splash, then flames.

Luckily, I was smart enough to turn off the heat and throw flour on the fire but it was pretty damn scary.

Not to be rude, but how can she screw up brownies? Brownies are super easy to make, especially if you're using a box mix. Even from scratch, all you're doing is combining the ingredients in a bowl and pouring them into a sprayed Pyrex pan and baking for 30 minutes.