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An apology to biscuits & gravy from Japan
Posted on 6/13/26 at 10:56 am
Posted on 6/13/26 at 10:56 am
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USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.
I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.
In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.
"Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully.
"Honey, that's what it looks like."
The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."
I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.
I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.
It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.
"Well?" the waitress asked.
"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."
"Everybody does, hon."
Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.
Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.
I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.
It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.
Posted on 6/13/26 at 11:39 am to hawgfaninc
Redneck goop. Biscuits and gravy suck.
Posted on 6/13/26 at 2:29 pm to WheyCheddar
quote:
Redneck goop.
You probably eat cheese curds, heathen.
Posted on 6/13/26 at 5:51 pm to WheyCheddar
quote:
Biscuits and gravy suck
Someone had to say it.
Posted on 6/13/26 at 7:11 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
You probably eat cheese curds, heathen.
If you're north of I10 you're a Yankee to me... But cheese curds get a pass. A delicious squeaky pass.
Posted on 6/13/26 at 10:08 pm to LemmyLives
Cheese curds are great. So are biscuits and gravy.
The poster you are replying too is an idiot.
The poster you are replying too is an idiot.
Posted on 6/14/26 at 3:41 am to WheyCheddar
I’ll take biscuits and gravy any day over nattõ.
Posted on 6/14/26 at 8:57 am to LemmyLives
quote:
You probably eat cheese curds, heathen.
HEY!
Posted on 6/14/26 at 9:19 am to X123F45
quote:
If you're north of I10 you're a Yankee to me..
That's because you're a stupid uncouth mongrel of a fat frick with no sense of geography or history.
Posted on 6/14/26 at 9:20 am to WheyCheddar
If you dont like biscuits and gravy you havent ever had them properly made. Which is weird because they arent hard to make.
Posted on 6/14/26 at 1:23 pm to WheyCheddar
Takes like this remind me how far the F&D board, and TD in general, has fallen.
Posted on 6/14/26 at 2:00 pm to hawgfaninc
Every time I consider biscuits and gravy I’ll ask if the gravy is homemade. If not it’s an automatic no.
Posted on 6/15/26 at 7:03 am to WheyCheddar
quote:
Redneck goop. Biscuits and gravy suck.
You obviously haven’t had good biscuits and gravy.
Posted on 6/15/26 at 10:19 am to WheyCheddar
quote:
Redneck goop. Biscuits and gravy suck.
Damn, man card taken for admitting you can't properly cook biscuits and gravy
Posted on 6/15/26 at 10:35 am to hawgfaninc
His posts have been great. His chips and salsa one was pretty hilarious too.
Posted on 6/16/26 at 5:07 am to MobileJosh
quote:
That's because you're a stupid uncouth mongrel of a fat frick with no sense of geography or history.
Look everyone, a Yankee.
Posted on 6/16/26 at 12:00 pm to hawgfaninc
No true japanese can react with confusion to anything served in the US. Japan is a food freak show from top to bottom.
Posted on 6/16/26 at 7:31 pm to HueyLongJr
don't sleep on Grits and Gravy. especially from kansas city
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