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This Smart Toilet Will Know You by the Shape of Your Ballon knot

Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:17 pm
Posted by RLDSC FAN
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Member since Nov 2008
51711 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:17 pm
quote:

A team of researchers at Stanford University developed a prototype smart toilet with four cameras that identify users based on their "analprint."

Stanford researchers have created the panopticon of looking up your own arse, with a "smart toilet" that monitors your health by analyzing your stool, urine, and the timing of both, using four cameras and an array of sensors and identification systems. The paper, "A mountable toilet system for personalized health monitoring via the analysis of excreta," was published Monday in the journal Nature.

"Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of their anoderm," the researchers write, "and the data are securely stored and analysed in an encrypted cloud server." The anoderm is the scientific word for your a-hole-skin, entomologically a combination of "anus," and "derm," or skin.

Rather than sending people to a clinic or labs for expensive and time-consuming blood tests, these researchers posit that the most valuable health data is in our shite, spit and piss. They write that "the ideal sources of diagnostic information for continuous health monitoring are the potentially information-rich molecular contents of breath, sweat, saliva, urine and stool."


Read more
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
84305 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:18 pm to
quote:

A team of researchers at Stanford University developed a prototype smart toilet with four cameras that identify users based on their "analprint."


and then what?
Posted by Slagathor
Makin' jokes about your teeny tiny
Member since Jul 2007
37889 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:18 pm to
quote:

toilet with four cameras


they stole this technology from Owlie
Posted by FrankDrebin
The Port o'Potty
Member since Sep 2018
957 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:19 pm to
quote:

A team of researchers at Stanford University developed a prototype smart toilet with four cameras that identify users based on their "analprint."




Which will then be shared with government agencies to father their ability to track you!!!!!
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97718 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:20 pm to
quote:

This Smart Toilet Will Know You by the Shape of Your Ballon knot


That’s how I can tell the difference between my wife and girlfriend
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:20 pm to
r/itsherasshole
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98335 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:21 pm to
Soon to be found on Pornhub
Posted by Rep520
Member since Mar 2018
10445 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:22 pm to
If I need to go undercover, I can just pop a hemorrhoid.
Posted by High C
viewing the fall....
Member since Nov 2012
53983 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

This Smart Toilet Will Know You by the Shape of Your Ballon knot


Balloon knot =/= a-hole in my neck of the woods.

Posted by L1C4
The Ville
Member since Aug 2017
13244 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

the shape of your balloon knot


I can use a mirror for that.
Posted by cokebottleag
I’m a Santos Republican
Member since Aug 2011
24028 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:27 pm to
quote:

and then what?



This is all a clever plot by Jeff Bezos for his real plan: pictures of your butthole.
Posted by RLDSC FAN
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Member since Nov 2008
51711 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:28 pm to
Posted by Captain Crown
Member since Jun 2011
50922 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:30 pm to
The reference chart
Posted by Chrome
Chromeville
Member since Nov 2007
10368 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:36 pm to
Bet those cameras won't be clean for long.
Posted by blueridgeTiger
Granbury, TX
Member since Jun 2004
20326 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:43 pm to
quote:


and then what?


They can better estimate tp requirements.
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134887 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:45 pm to
quote:

they stole this technology from Owlie


Posted by Vestigial Morgan
Member since Apr 2016
3048 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:51 pm to
We joke about "learn to code".. But in reality these folks need to "learn to weld" or something productive..
Posted by Sneaky__Sally
Member since Jul 2015
12364 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 1:57 pm to
definitely the likely long term scenario in having the toilet basically be a small lab to help run tests and help guide the health of each person.
Posted by SECdragonmaster
Order of the Dragons
Member since Dec 2013
16245 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 4:05 pm to
Fast Forward 10 years and kids will be proudly posting their analprint on social media.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124570 posts
Posted on 4/7/20 at 4:29 pm to
What happens when you get hemorrhoids?
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