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Message
re: Raising a child in a non religious home with a very religious extended family
Posted on 12/29/14 at 2:50 pm to Salmon
Posted on 12/29/14 at 2:50 pm to Salmon
My extended family is very religious. They'll occasionally give my kids religious materials. I just let them have it and try to answer any questions the best I can. So far they don't show much interest but it wouldn't bother me if they did. I've wished many times that I could make myself believe.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 2:54 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
This is really weird to me.
well it's a little weird for me too. I look at it as one of the many sacrifices i will make in my life for my children. I can't force my kids to do something if i'm not willing to do the same, and they aren't old enough to understand that i've already done the catholic lifestyle for most of my life and that's not who i am anymore.
I've thought about it a lot. I'd rather tell my children that Paw Paw went to heaven, not that he just doesn't exist anymore. So i'll live that lifestyle for the most part while my children are still young.
I also think going to a catholic school and everything that comes with that helps them be better people in the long run, and will help guide them for the better to adulthood with me and my wifes parenting.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 2:57 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:
. You think you know more about someone that you don't know than they know about themselves?
Most people are quite confused about what an atheist is vs. what is an agnostic.
LINK
quote:
Atheism is about belief, or specifically what you don't believe. Agnosticism is about knowledge, or specifically about what you don't know. An atheist doesn't believe in any gods. An agnostic doesn't know if any gods exist or not. These can be the exact same person, but need not be.
Every agnostic is also either an atheist or a theist because any given belief is either present or not — there is no alternative to those two options. An agnostic may be unsure whether atheism or theism is more reasonable. An agnostic may not consider their theism or atheism very important. But regardless, belief that the proposition "at least one god is true" is present or not in everyone.
so do believe at least one god exists?
Posted on 12/29/14 at 2:58 pm to Salmon
I told both grandparents not your kid, not your business
Posted on 12/29/14 at 2:59 pm to Salmon
quote:
Any other OT parents had to deal with this issue?
Yes. Don't overthink it. You seem very stressed. It will be OK.
quote:
What type of confusion does this create for the child?
It depends what you tell them. In general, I find children to be very able. You should deal with them straight up instead of trying to allow and adjust for their age. It's the adults who need to have their egos stroked. Kids are perfectly fine with reality.
quote:
I thought I had a few years before I had to deal with this, but it has started as of this Christmas with my daughter getting a bible, bible story books, and a few other religious items for Christmas from the grandparents.
I found that those books were usually the most boring, so they would be naturally ignored pretty quickly at which time I would just throw them out/donate them.
quote:
I just worry about how confused my daughter is going to be when Mawmaw and Pawpaw tell her all about Jesus and whatnot, but Momma and Daddy tell her that they do not believe in Jesus.
You shouldn't worry too much. Be honest with all involved and it will sort itself out.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:04 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
so do believe at least one god exists?
I honestly have no idea. I certainly don't believe one doesn't and I certainly don't believe one does.
quote:
Most people are quite confused about what an atheist is vs. what is an agnostic.
I'm not.
quote:
Every agnostic is also either an atheist or a theist because any given belief is either present or not — there is no alternative to those two options. An agnostic may be unsure whether atheism or theism is more reasonable. An agnostic may not consider their theism or atheism very important. But regardless, belief that the proposition "at least one god is true" is present or not in everyone.
That isn't true. You could put a gun in my mouth and I wouldn't answer that with confidence either way. Just because you found it on the internet doesn't make it true.
quote:
so do believe at least one god exists?
I honestly have no idea. I would love to know, but I just don't see proof either way.
I'm done discussing this. Thread is about parenting.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:04 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
so do believe at least one god exists?
I think it would be fair to think that there might be an in between here where a person feels a lot of ambivalence about his belief one way or the other. That's why I typically describe myself as Agnostic. Anyway enough of that derail.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:06 pm to TeddyPadillac
I think this is actually more right than not, even if it sounds strange.
It really is the only way to expose kids to religion so that they CAN make a choice later. In truth, most 6-12 year old kids would never choose to go sit in church of their own volition. Those who say they will let kids choose, but don't expose said kids, are kind of choosing for them.
Taking them to church, teaching the basics, and then not freaking out when they back out of the faith when they can make a true judgement ( late teen/adult) seems the only real way to "let them choose".
And yes, you still must pick a faith to base out of, so there's always some bias. It's unavoidable.
It really is the only way to expose kids to religion so that they CAN make a choice later. In truth, most 6-12 year old kids would never choose to go sit in church of their own volition. Those who say they will let kids choose, but don't expose said kids, are kind of choosing for them.
Taking them to church, teaching the basics, and then not freaking out when they back out of the faith when they can make a true judgement ( late teen/adult) seems the only real way to "let them choose".
And yes, you still must pick a faith to base out of, so there's always some bias. It's unavoidable.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:08 pm to yallallcrazy
quote:
n truth, most 6-12 year old kids would never choose to go sit in church of their own volition.
Why cant they just wait to go to church when they get older and want to do it on their own?
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:09 pm to yallallcrazy
quote:
It really is the only way to expose kids to religion so that they CAN make a choice later.
Why can't you just expose them to religion later when they can better understand?
quote:
Taking them to church, teaching the basics, and then not freaking out when they back out of the faith when they can make a true judgement ( late teen/adult) seems the only real way to "let them choose".
Why does "backing out" have to be the choice? Shouldn't "jumping in" be the choice? Agnosticism/atheism is the default stance after all.
This post was edited on 12/29/14 at 3:15 pm
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:10 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:
That isn't true. You could put a gun in my mouth and I wouldn't answer that with confidence either way. Just because you found it on the internet doesn't make it true.
Well this about what I would say, and this makes me an atheist. Its pretty common to be in denial about it, especially if you grew up in the south (or the midwest). Atheists are demonized.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:12 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
Well this about what I would say, and this makes me an atheist. Its pretty common to be in denial about it, especially if you grew up in the south (or the midwest). Atheists are demonized.
First you claim I don't know, then you claim I'm in denial
Stop discussing this.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:13 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
Atheists are demonized.
Interesting choice of words for an atheist.
btw: Texas fans are worse.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:18 pm to Hester Carries
Could
It is unlikely to happen, though, with no background.
It is unlikely to happen, though, with no background.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:23 pm to yallallcrazy
quote:
It is unlikely to happen, though, with no background.
So?
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:24 pm to Sir Drinksalot
quote:
You explain to your kids that everyone is different and that when they they get old enough they can make their own decisions on faith, but to always respect the faith of others.
Let them know the bible is important to grandma and so she should appreciate the gift. When she learns to read let her read it if she wants.
This
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:24 pm to Green Chili Tiger
Well, it may be. Depends on the parents.
I guess that's what I'm saying. No matter what you do, you are picking a starter path for your kid.
Don't hide behind the "letting them choose" part. That only comes with how you react to them leaving the path you set initially.
IMO, it is more beneficial to give them the religious basis to later modify or reject. Saying you'll allow them to choose between 2 options , one of which you never taught them about, seems less desirable to me. You may be different.
I guess that's what I'm saying. No matter what you do, you are picking a starter path for your kid.
Don't hide behind the "letting them choose" part. That only comes with how you react to them leaving the path you set initially.
IMO, it is more beneficial to give them the religious basis to later modify or reject. Saying you'll allow them to choose between 2 options , one of which you never taught them about, seems less desirable to me. You may be different.
Posted on 12/29/14 at 3:26 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:With your martyr complex, you would make a good religious person.
Atheists are demonized.
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