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Any of y'all been burned loaning a family member or friend money?

Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:06 pm
Posted by Cregg
Orange Beach
Member since Jul 2017
2395 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:06 pm
I am trying to talk my fiancee out of doing this. It's 9k to her sister for some dental work. She has asked for money before but never even in the ballpark of this much and I know she will never see it again. Her sister also went on two fricking vacations last year and has a vehicle she has zero business having. Share your horror stories if you have them
Posted by AgCoug
Houston
Member since Jan 2014
6581 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:07 pm to
Sure. Not to the tune of 9 grand, but around half of that.
They're family. What can you do?
Posted by Pettifogger
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Feb 2012
86574 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:08 pm to
Have to treat this stuff as a gift or not do it all if you value the relationship IMO
Posted by LegendInMyMind
Member since Apr 2019
72932 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:08 pm to
Yep. When you make the decision to loan family/friends money you have to also make the decision to be at peace with not getting that money back. If you can't do that, don't loan them the money.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
With populists, expect populism
Member since Jan 2004
470468 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:08 pm to
quote:

9k


quote:

Her sister also went on two fricking vacations last year and has a vehicle she has zero business having


nope
Posted by Gifman
Member since Jan 2021
18246 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:09 pm to
If you want a family member to hate you... loan them money. It happens alot.
Posted by ValZacs
Zachary/Valpo
Member since Jan 2009
767 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:10 pm to
The odds are not in your favor of recouping. Best to just consider it a gift. Approach it as, and communicate with the recipient as a loan though.
Posted by PerryWinkleBlue
Member since Apr 2025
303 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:11 pm to
Sign her rock chewing arse up for care credit.
Posted by Strannix
C.S.A.
Member since Dec 2012
53277 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:11 pm to
quote:

Her sister also went on two fricking vacations last year and has a vehicle she has zero business having.


Are you wealthy? If do give her the money, you wont see any back.
Posted by Lawyered
The Sip
Member since Oct 2016
37793 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:12 pm to
quote:

I am trying to talk my fiancee out of doing this. It's 9k to her sister for some dental work. She has asked for money before but never even in the ballpark of this much and I know she will never see it again. Her sister also went on two fricking vacations last year and has a vehicle she has zero business having. Share your horror stories if you have them


Why can’t she put it on a credit card or finance plan through the dentist?

The sister has no problem doing the same for her vacations and high car payment . Guessing she didn’t ask to borrow money for her trips. Nah fam . If she was legit poor with no pot to pee in, I’d likely give it to her but her priorities are clearly out of whack

Tough shite
This post was edited on 2/7/26 at 4:13 pm
Posted by Dawgfanman
Member since Jun 2015
26032 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:13 pm to
Is it emergency dental work? Like she has a broken jaw or lost her teeth in a wreck or could die if she doesn’t have it now?
Posted by thegreatboudini
Member since Oct 2008
7138 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:13 pm to
What's 9k mean to you?

That should answer the question.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
14243 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:15 pm to
She can make better choices. Like trade in the car for something less expensive (ETA: and use the leftover cash to fix her rotten arse teeth.) She can also get a second opinion. And i bet even if you do decide to set this money on fire, she'll object to you going to the dentist and paying them directly.

And to the poster after you, it's not OP choosing to negatively impact the relationship over money, it's the sister.
This post was edited on 2/7/26 at 4:21 pm
Posted by ShrevetownTiger
Shreveport
Member since Jan 2007
3314 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:15 pm to
Just know when you marry this woman, her sister will continue to ask for money. I had to put my foot down with my wife over two of her brothers who she “loaned” money to consistently. I finally had to tell them to kick rocks. She was very thankful that I did it because she could not say no. She is very kind hearted and wants to help, I told there is a difference between helping and being taken advantage of.
Posted by SECSolomonGrundy
Slaughter Swamp
Member since Jun 2012
18176 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:18 pm to
quote:

They're family. What can you do?


1. Tell them to eat shite.
2. Make fun of them for being poor.
3. Show them the cool new stuff you bought with your money
4. All of the above
Posted by Have A Downvote
Member since Jan 2026
114 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:18 pm to
Posted by GeauxldMember
Member since Nov 2003
5606 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:19 pm to
Always follow Sonny’s advice…
Posted by AUCE05
Member since Dec 2009
45205 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:19 pm to
Absolutely not. You dont borrow money from other adults. Use a bank or go without.
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
69668 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:20 pm to
We loaned both my mom and my wife's mom a couple grand each at various points. We didn't expect to get paid back and were cool with it.

Both those classy, beautiful women came with money in hand to repay.

Any other time it has been a relatively small amount and I forgot about it soon after giving it. Pretty sure none of those were paid back.

For 9k, I'd get something in writing. That's a bit over our forget about it threshold.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
120964 posts
Posted on 2/7/26 at 4:21 pm to
Probably everyone who has loaned family or a friend money has been burned.
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