Daughter’s alcoholism and mental illness.

OT, I know there’s other message boards, however I value the opinions and takes y’all have. I’m struggling and just need to talk about it,

Our 19 yr old daughter is suffering from alcoholism, substance use and mental issues ( bipolar). She’s always been an introvert and uncertain where she fits in. Right after Covid and all the shutdowns we caught her cutting and having episodes of bulimia. We got a referral to UK’s adolescent psych and they got her stable. They got her on a good medication combo and regular dietary appts.

Skip ahead to this year. We send her away to college, grades started out good and she was doing well we thought. My wife started noticing she was lethargic and depressed. Her roommate calls my wife the other night at 1am and said our daughter has been drinking heavily and snorting Wellbutrin.

My wife goes to pick her up and get home around 4am with my daughter holding a bottle of vodka that she would not give up. I demanded she give me the bottle and it turned it to a horrible screaming match and I ended up wrestling with her. Realizing I was about to get physical, I called 911.

Sheriff dept shows up , she had given up her bottle and no charges were filed. I took her to the ER yesterday hoping they could admit her to the substance abuse unit but she bullshitted the intake nurse. Last night I caught her sneaking in our room looking for the Wellbutrin. No reason for wanting to take it other than “she’s bored.”

I’m just distraught. Wife was away for 2 days to help our son and daughter in law get the grandkids moved from Texas to Pensacola. She’s on her way back to KY now. I don’t know the approach we need to take. She’s withdrawing from school and will be paying her own bills while she lives here. She says she wants help but won’t commit long term to anything.

I don’t know if we kick her out if she continues to lie and abuse her meds or alcohol. I will say I grew up with a sister with similar issues and it tore our family apart. I made it clear I’m not living my last 20-30 years like this. Wife and I are mid 50s and can’t support her forever. I have no idea what to do. This sucks because there’s no certainty she will be motivated to recover.