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What's your best "dad joke" or one-liners?
Posted on 9/4/23 at 4:53 pm
Posted on 9/4/23 at 4:53 pm
Since I asked, I'll start. And the point of a dad joke is that by their own nature, they are inherently bad, which makes them funny.
Most people are shocked when they find out I am not a qualified electrician.
I mean, say what you want about deaf people ...
Liberace was fantastic on the piano. But he sucked on the organ.
Any new material to work with?
Most people are shocked when they find out I am not a qualified electrician.
I mean, say what you want about deaf people ...
Liberace was fantastic on the piano. But he sucked on the organ.
Any new material to work with?
Posted on 9/4/23 at 4:55 pm to Will Cover
My dad has always made the joke:
Dad: are you alert?
Me: yes
Dad: good, America needs more lerts
Dad: are you alert?
Me: yes
Dad: good, America needs more lerts
Posted on 9/4/23 at 4:57 pm to Will Cover
A stiff prick has no conscience
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:00 pm to Will Cover
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
If they fell forward they’d fall back into the boat.
If they fell forward they’d fall back into the boat.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:03 pm to Will Cover
Those lawn darts aren't going to throw themselves.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:09 pm to Will Cover
I used to work at a bank. One day this lady came in asked if I could check her balance.
So I pushed her.
So I pushed her.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:10 pm to Will Cover
I would tell a gay joke, butt frick it.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:20 pm to Will Cover
Cleaning lady woke me up banging on the door, begging me to open it
So I got out of bed, opened the door, and let her out
So I got out of bed, opened the door, and let her out
This post was edited on 9/4/23 at 5:21 pm
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:23 pm to Will Cover
What is a lazy man’s favorite form of exercise?
Diddly Squats.
Diddly Squats.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:35 pm to Will Cover
Why is there not a pregnant Barbie?
Because Ken came in a different box.
Because Ken came in a different box.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:37 pm to Will Cover
I’ve heard the following quite a lot at restaurants:
Waiter/waitress: Drink?
Dad: Bourbon and coke
Waiter/waitress: Kind of bourbon?
Dad: Brown
Waiter/waitress: Drink?
Dad: Bourbon and coke
Waiter/waitress: Kind of bourbon?
Dad: Brown
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:39 pm to Will Cover
What was Ana and Elsa’s parents favorite band?
3 Doors Drown.
3 Doors Drown.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:42 pm to Will Cover
“I’m drunk and mom’s face isn’t going to punch itself.”
Very eloquent, and brings back a lot of memories for me.
Very eloquent, and brings back a lot of memories for me.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:48 pm to Will Cover
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
Add spring water.
Add spring water.
Posted on 9/4/23 at 5:50 pm to Will Cover
Horse walks into a bar bartender says..Hey why the long face?
Posted on 9/4/23 at 6:05 pm to Will Cover
Ordered 12 bees for my hive. Beekeeper gave me 13. I asked why the extra 1. He says thats a free bee
Posted on 9/4/23 at 6:09 pm to rattlebucket
A Giraffe walks into a bar and says ,”Hey everybody, high balls on me”!
Posted on 9/4/23 at 6:19 pm to Will Cover
RIP boiling water
You are mist
You are mist
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