re: Parents under 35, do you spank your children?

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parents not spanking isn’t the problem with kids today. It’s parents not parenting, in general.

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bravo

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Conservatards are just as bad with redefining words as liberals. Quit being a fricking pussy. If you think hitting toddlers is a good idea, make the argument. The fact that you have to obfuscate what's actually happening demonstrates that you don't believe your position is defensible.

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Trying to get 90% of this board to see reason is a lost cause.

They already have their opinions. They are dug in. Only a handful will approach a question with the curiosity of if their position has changed due to a shift in perspective or wisdom, and it's usually the same people.

Threads like these are normally shitshow with a thoughtful comment or two every 1-3 pages.

To answer, I don't have kids. My sister is under 35 and has 3 and I've never seen her spank her kids. They are fine. The boy can be a bit much, but he loves his mom and his family, which is more than a lot of young boys who get spanked can say. Is that because he trusts that his mom isn't going to beat him? Can't say for sure, I bet it isn't totally irrelevant.

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But you absolutely can parent with positive reinforcement

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When we first moved in 2016, my kids were 4 and we moved into a 2 story, master BR downstairs and all other bedrooms upstairs.

That first week or so was a nightmare with 1 of my kids I guess cause we were so far away, legit, 10 or 20 or more times a night he'd come to us in the middle of the night to wake us up, and I had work the next day. I was losing my mind that he wouldn't just stay in his room and not bother us lol. Pretty sure I had even taken a couple of things away from him to no avail. He was wanting to sleep in our bed which we had never allowed, and that was always 1 thing I was never going to let happen randomly like that because once you open up that door, it's tough to break that habit.

Did a little reading from a couple of sites online that put it into perspective pretty well. The real life stress for us adults like getting laid off or marital problems or whatever it may be...that's the exact same type of stress he was having. He doesn't know the difference, he was legit stressed out. Just understanding that really helped, and positive reinforcement kept coming up everywhere I read.

So we basically put a sleeping bag on our floor and told him if he came into our room he can sleep on the floor. He loved matchbox cars, so I went and bought like $30 of them and spread them out on the dining room table and left em there for him to see, still in the box. I told him every night he stayed in his room all night, he can open a new car.

1st couple of nights, he did come into our bedroom, didn't wake us, and just slept on the floor/sleeping bag. After night 2 or 3, he was fine and grabbing up those new cars every day lol. Only "problem" was he had a twin who was having no issues who wanted in on the cars too, but he didn't start acting out but rather we just had to give him a car every day too.

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This discussion isn’t limited to 1.5 year olds, and that’s all I continue to see you address.

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Discussions change and the sub discussion was exactly that.

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I think that the reason you get so many negative responses is that you come across as a condescending prick. Are you really a condescending prick? I have no idea.

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Meh, I think it's because now more than everpeople can't accept debate and opinions they don't share. We see it every day here and on social media. People lose their f'ing minds when someone disagrees with them, and IMO that is what happens here.

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If I’m the only one who perceives your posts that way, then I apologize.

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No worries at all, I know others think that too, but again, I'm confident is because people can't have rational discussions these days with folks who differing opinions. Not that you'd care to or should care to, but if you note any negative back and forth I have with someone that gets into the name calling etc, it will always always start as a rational discussion and the other person will ALWAYS be the one who gets pissy for no good reason...it'll never ever ever be me. Yes, i will fire back and do some name calling, and that's not cool I shouldn't do it, but I do. But I'll never be the first to go that route if that person replying to me is just having a debate where they dont' agree with me and are just discussing their side, nothing more. That's my one guarantee, I can kindly debate all day, I'll never be the one to get all pissy first. But my biggest downfall is not letting it go and then antagonizing the person that does get pissy, i'll cop to that for sure lol.

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But it if you’re disputing that there are instances where a one time reprimand gets results then I don’t know how to continue discussing.

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Nah, in the moment they may stop. But my argument is that 10 minutes later, 2 days later, 3 weeks later...nothing you did that one single time is going to help. They are going to do that thing again. At 1, they're not going to think back on that little smack they got 3 weeks ago and not do that thing they're dying to do...no chance.

Doesn't mean you should not discipline, you should and remain consistent, but you're really doing it to instill vales or what's right or wrong for the future. But the quick smack at that age isn't going to have them never do the thing again like some have said, and like I've pointed out, why everyone who does spank keeps posting about how they spank a lot or 2 times a week or whatever. I'm not even saying it can't ever work, I'm just, again, replying to posters who directly have stated you spank em and problem solved forever as has been said in this thread....while some of the same folks also keep telling you how they spank their kids often.

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You do know EVERY statistical fact in the downfall of American families and children is directly linked to the stopping of “spankings” and participation trophies??? Look at the world of the 70-80’s when it was normal and look at the world now. Wake up open your eyes look around and stop regurgitating liberal propaganda. Jesus Christ

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My dad beat my arse with a belt all the time when I was a kid. If I went home crying to him because I had a bad day he just slapped the shite out of me. It taught me that at the end of the day, you have to man the frick up and solve your own issues, because eventually you’ll be living in your own and won’t have parents to help you

I always dreaded when my parents told me to go pick out a switch from the backyard