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Posted on 5/26/23 at 5:24 pm to Cosmo
How much money we talking about? Only lend what you are ok not getting back.
I don’t think it’s actually a close friend you’re talking about as I have three I would give what I could when I could.
It’s always touchy though. Depends on situation entirely
I don’t think it’s actually a close friend you’re talking about as I have three I would give what I could when I could.
It’s always touchy though. Depends on situation entirely
Posted on 5/26/23 at 5:29 pm to Cosmo
Is his wife hot? Maybe you can work out a deal.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 5:32 pm to The Boat
quote:
Is his wife hot? Maybe you can work out a deal.
It's a story as old as time.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 6:17 pm to Cosmo
Never lend anyone money without a signed agreement with internet you are willing to enforce
Posted on 5/26/23 at 9:11 pm to Cosmo
Whatever you do plan on not getting it back. If you are ok with that go with it. Sometimes a friend needs help and you just do it if you can.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 10:03 pm to Triggerr
From your side: frick that, no money for you. Always have a great excuse ready. How much money did he ask for?
Your friend's side: So embarassed didn't want to ask family. Doesn't think the downturn will last. Thinks maybe you are doing pretty well and would think it's sort of a compliment to ask.
Id say, "Time to downgrade! See ya"
Your friend's side: So embarassed didn't want to ask family. Doesn't think the downturn will last. Thinks maybe you are doing pretty well and would think it's sort of a compliment to ask.
Id say, "Time to downgrade! See ya"
Posted on 5/26/23 at 10:25 pm to Cosmo
I had the same experience 30 years ago. Buddy was in my wedding, called and asked for some money. I don't remember how much he asked for. I think it was $1,500. I asked him how he was gonna pay it back and he said he would pay when he got "back on his feet". I didn't do it. Basically, without a plan and life style change I didn't see where he could pay it back and he couldn't. I later learned he was on meth when he asked me to bang his wife cause he couldn't get it up anymore.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 10:45 pm to shel311
quote:
don't really get how it's more of an a hole move to offer help while discussing all the options the friend is pursuing to cut back then it is to simply say you're not helping at all.
In the end you aren’t buying the right to be his parent. You don’t get to tell him where the money lands or what else to do with his life unless he has asked for that help as well.
Posted on 5/26/23 at 11:15 pm to Cosmo
quote:
they are the classic 80-90k millionaires that the OT talks about. He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time.
It would be hard to say yes to him. frick him. Manage his shite better
Posted on 5/27/23 at 4:31 am to Cosmo
If you can't afford to give it to him forget it because he aint paying hisbills now.
Posted on 5/27/23 at 4:57 am to O
quote:
The fastest way to lose a friend is to loan them money.
this is true
but it all depends on the friend - I have a couple of friends where there would be no questions asked.
I have a few other 'friends' who I would be suspicious of unless the circumstance were really an obvious 'act of God' kind of emergency.
Posted on 5/28/23 at 2:13 pm to Cosmo
"How do I do it? I'm in debt up to my eyeballs!"
This post was edited on 5/28/23 at 2:17 pm
Posted on 5/28/23 at 2:32 pm to weptiger
A co-worker once borrowed $5 from another one of my co-workers. Over the next few weeks, the lender kept asking the borrower to pay him back. Finally the borrower lost his temper and angrily told him, “If I had the money to pay you back I would not have had to borrow it.” Then, as the lender walked away, the borrower muttered, “Putz!”
I’ll never forget it. Me and the other guys in the bullpen were dying laughing.
I’ll never forget it. Me and the other guys in the bullpen were dying laughing.
Posted on 5/28/23 at 2:51 pm to bpinson
I'm in a position to help because everyone knows I have a good job and everyone knows I spend money like I make a lot less than I do.
With younger folks (if I know they have money management issues) when they ask to borrow money I usually tell them I'm going to treat them like an adult and ask what they have for collateral. I tell them "I have no issue lending you whatever you want because I know you are in need. I know you'll pay me back but it helps if everyone has something to lose so I'm going to hold on to X until we settle up".
At that point, they usually say let me think about it and never bring it up again. It's amazing how many folks are in desperate need but won't give up something of value because they know they have zero plans of paying you back.
On the flip side an army buddy called and asked for help. He's worked hard all his life but he's had a run of tough times. I gave him more than he said he needed and told him it was a gift.
If you have boats and tons of toys, I think I'm just going to tell you to sell some of your toys. Its what I would do so I have no problem telling someone else to do that.
With younger folks (if I know they have money management issues) when they ask to borrow money I usually tell them I'm going to treat them like an adult and ask what they have for collateral. I tell them "I have no issue lending you whatever you want because I know you are in need. I know you'll pay me back but it helps if everyone has something to lose so I'm going to hold on to X until we settle up".
At that point, they usually say let me think about it and never bring it up again. It's amazing how many folks are in desperate need but won't give up something of value because they know they have zero plans of paying you back.
On the flip side an army buddy called and asked for help. He's worked hard all his life but he's had a run of tough times. I gave him more than he said he needed and told him it was a gift.
If you have boats and tons of toys, I think I'm just going to tell you to sell some of your toys. Its what I would do so I have no problem telling someone else to do that.
Posted on 5/28/23 at 2:55 pm to Cosmo
quote:
. I said I would only consider helping him if he helps himself first and shows me he is cutting back, selling some stuff. He gets kinda angry at this point like Im accusing him of something
Super dick move on YOUR part. There's a time and place for everything...you're a prick.
Posted on 5/28/23 at 3:39 pm to Cosmo
quote:
Has 2 boats and a side by side.
"You know, I have been needing a boat and a side by side. Let's work out a deal."
You have helped your friend and you can sell the stuff if you didn't overpay. If he says no...oh well. Let him struggle.
Posted on 5/28/23 at 3:44 pm to TigerCliff
quote:Exactly..."I'm going to help this time, but also I want to help you put a plan together to pull you out of this situation. "
He trusts and respects you enough to ask which says a lot. If you have it and can do it then don’t expect to be paid back just consider it a gift.
Posted on 5/28/23 at 4:16 pm to Ralph_Wiggum
quote:
His buddy can sell his boats and side by side. More likely to die in a boating accident and side by side accident anyways.
It’s likely he financed those things for 15 years or something and the sale value is less than he owes currently because he has paid mostly interest the first few years
So basically selling them doesn’t get rid of the note. He could maybe sell and use that money to pay off some of the principle and refinance the remaining balance through one bank loan to lower his payments
Posted on 5/28/23 at 4:24 pm to Honest Tune
quote:
That’s a lot of meat on the bone right there. I quit restaurant dining and get rid of the boat and side by sides before I make that call.
This. He needs to sit down and write down every single expense in the last month. Put it on paper and then list them most important to least important and start making changes on the least important. First try to cut out things that don’t require selling stuff such as eating out. That alone could probably fix his situation, eating out has gotten ridiculous expensive
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