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Posted on 5/8/23 at 9:00 am to ArmyHogs
Move on with your life date, younger, more attractive women, etc. Try to keep as much as you can in the divorce and don't budge unless you have to.
90% chance she's already getting porked by Chad, Jody or Tyrone, which means you don't owe her anything anymore.
90% chance she's already getting porked by Chad, Jody or Tyrone, which means you don't owe her anything anymore.
Posted on 5/8/23 at 9:09 am to ArmyHogs
quite a cornucopia of advice in this thread 
Posted on 5/8/23 at 9:41 am to ArmyHogs
so read the first page and totally disappointed in the OT, going fricking soft
in the end its simple, workout like a mother fricker, upgrade your job situation and frick bitches
***i have never been through divorce so i dont know shite, but thats what tictok says to do****
in the end its simple, workout like a mother fricker, upgrade your job situation and frick bitches
***i have never been through divorce so i dont know shite, but thats what tictok says to do****
Posted on 5/8/23 at 9:56 am to ArmyHogs
I haven’t been divorced and can only speak to my brother’s experience.
They had a kid together so communication had to happen regularly and that helped a ton IMO. He never had that “missing you” aspect much, and was regularly reminded why they divorced. Ha. Having said that they got along very well after not having to live together.
Just remember there’s a reason it didn’t work out and life’s too short to be in a miserable situation just due to a perception of codependency.
They had a kid together so communication had to happen regularly and that helped a ton IMO. He never had that “missing you” aspect much, and was regularly reminded why they divorced. Ha. Having said that they got along very well after not having to live together.
Just remember there’s a reason it didn’t work out and life’s too short to be in a miserable situation just due to a perception of codependency.
Posted on 5/8/23 at 10:25 am to ArmyHogs
Army, it’s been 25 years ago for me, but the following continues to work well for my situation:
1. Take care of yourself and find something to feed your soul. Therapy was not it for me! My parents gave me money to see a therapist and I used it to take dressage lessons.
2. Nothing hurts more than indifference. Do your best to take all the strong feelings out of any contact with your ex, and only refer to them as an “ex” if children are not involved. If you share children refer to them as “child’s name” other parent/birth mom or dad.
3. If you have children, you will be forever in a relationship with your former spouse. Conduct this relationship as a business of raising your children.
4. Don’t engage in a negative way with your ‘ex” or their family. This can victimize them to your children and when they get old enough, they will know.
5. Again, take care of yourself and even if it’s through your OT friends, we are here to help!
1. Take care of yourself and find something to feed your soul. Therapy was not it for me! My parents gave me money to see a therapist and I used it to take dressage lessons.
2. Nothing hurts more than indifference. Do your best to take all the strong feelings out of any contact with your ex, and only refer to them as an “ex” if children are not involved. If you share children refer to them as “child’s name” other parent/birth mom or dad.
3. If you have children, you will be forever in a relationship with your former spouse. Conduct this relationship as a business of raising your children.
4. Don’t engage in a negative way with your ‘ex” or their family. This can victimize them to your children and when they get old enough, they will know.
5. Again, take care of yourself and even if it’s through your OT friends, we are here to help!
Posted on 5/8/23 at 10:46 am to ArmyHogs
God and Prayer. It works
Posted on 5/8/23 at 1:22 pm to ArmyHogs
quote:
How do people cope with separation or divorce?
I drank a lot and banged anything with a vagina..
Posted on 5/8/23 at 3:04 pm to ArmyHogs
Pray
and if there isn’t infidelity, anything is possible
and if there isn’t infidelity, anything is possible
Posted on 5/8/23 at 3:24 pm to ArmyHogs
As someone who is dealing with a divorce currently I will try and offer some advice that helps me.
My situation is I have a prenuptial in place and my ex is also non vindictive and doesn’t even want the spousal maintenance she is entitled to in the prenup. She just had a bit of mental breakdown and decided she couldn’t get well in the relationship and decided to leave a year ago. Kind of blindsided me, but as I look at her life’s history she has a pattern of quitting things that ultimately make her life exponentially more difficult. I let her have her space, told her I would support her, and reiterated I didn’t want to divorce.
As time passes (if you cannot reconcile-which you should exhaust all possibilities to reconcile if you love her) I think, like others have said, reflecting on your part of the relationship you could have done better is helpful.
In my situation, and I am fortunate to have psychiatrists who are colleagues and friends, plus my own individual counselor all help me accurately conclude that I could never love her enough to make her love herself. Truly heartbreaking, but she is getting help.
I will say practically, the things you have seen repeatedly in this thread like working out, self improvement via new hobbies, learning etc, and being as social as you can are beneficial.
I also have found making a note on your phone of all the things that really bothered you about your relationship, or things about her that grated on your nerves etc is extremely useful. It helps you to not romanticize and get overly sentimental about what was and spiraling into deep sadness.
That said, if you avoid drinking and drugs and allow yourself to feel and move through the pain you will, in fact, move through it quicker.
It’s still early for me and I do feel the sadness, but I have also accepted that I did everything I could and life will get better based on every divorced guy telling me it gets better.
My situation is I have a prenuptial in place and my ex is also non vindictive and doesn’t even want the spousal maintenance she is entitled to in the prenup. She just had a bit of mental breakdown and decided she couldn’t get well in the relationship and decided to leave a year ago. Kind of blindsided me, but as I look at her life’s history she has a pattern of quitting things that ultimately make her life exponentially more difficult. I let her have her space, told her I would support her, and reiterated I didn’t want to divorce.
As time passes (if you cannot reconcile-which you should exhaust all possibilities to reconcile if you love her) I think, like others have said, reflecting on your part of the relationship you could have done better is helpful.
In my situation, and I am fortunate to have psychiatrists who are colleagues and friends, plus my own individual counselor all help me accurately conclude that I could never love her enough to make her love herself. Truly heartbreaking, but she is getting help.
I will say practically, the things you have seen repeatedly in this thread like working out, self improvement via new hobbies, learning etc, and being as social as you can are beneficial.
I also have found making a note on your phone of all the things that really bothered you about your relationship, or things about her that grated on your nerves etc is extremely useful. It helps you to not romanticize and get overly sentimental about what was and spiraling into deep sadness.
That said, if you avoid drinking and drugs and allow yourself to feel and move through the pain you will, in fact, move through it quicker.
It’s still early for me and I do feel the sadness, but I have also accepted that I did everything I could and life will get better based on every divorced guy telling me it gets better.
Posted on 5/31/23 at 6:33 am to ArmyHogs
If you have friends, talk to them. If you don’t have friends, get a therapist. Keeping it all in is going to allow your mind to go to dark places.
Assuming there’s no infidelity, pay attention to how she behaves in the proceedings. Women show their true colors there. That’s not going to make it better, but it might remind you that this isn’t the same person you thought it was.
Assuming there’s no infidelity, pay attention to how she behaves in the proceedings. Women show their true colors there. That’s not going to make it better, but it might remind you that this isn’t the same person you thought it was.
Posted on 5/31/23 at 6:48 am to ArmyHogs
Handle your business work wise , play golf with your friends, pick up hot women on weekends, shack up , leave em Sunday. Start over. Did it twice in my life. Great times..
Posted on 5/31/23 at 7:09 am to ArmyHogs
Divorce was the best thing to happen for me.
Left a dark place to discover good people and good times.
Hopefully, the same happens for you. I know many people who enjoyed life more after divorce.
Left a dark place to discover good people and good times.
Hopefully, the same happens for you. I know many people who enjoyed life more after divorce.
Posted on 5/31/23 at 7:14 am to ArmyHogs
Weed. Lots of weed.
Posted on 5/31/23 at 7:19 am to ArmyHogs
Read or listen to "discipline is destiny" by Ryan Holiday and start a campaign to improve several key facets of your live.
I would not turn to drink - that is the easy way out and will make you feel worse in the long run. Get counseling and work out instead. Natural highs are so much better in times of uncertainty.
I would not turn to drink - that is the easy way out and will make you feel worse in the long run. Get counseling and work out instead. Natural highs are so much better in times of uncertainty.
This post was edited on 5/31/23 at 7:21 am
Posted on 5/31/23 at 7:23 am to ArmyHogs
Steady supply of strange, son
Posted on 5/31/23 at 7:27 am to ArmyHogs
Time and talking to good friends who have been through it. Took me about a year. That was 10 years ago and I'm vert happy
Posted on 5/31/23 at 7:42 am to ArmyHogs
Lots of good can come from it or bad.. Its your choice
Good luck
Good luck
Posted on 5/31/23 at 7:46 am to ArmyHogs
Id recommend some Jung, wade in your darkness a bit and come to terms with it
Posted on 5/31/23 at 8:27 am to ArmyHogs
Depends on who initiated it.
I just realized I was tired of her shite and wanted to split.
I was already checked out of the relationship and was just doing the minimum to get by.
One day a small fight over not getting me food turned into the fight.
She decided she wanted nothing from me but the furniture and a car for her kid. I had the house before we got together and she didn't want it.
She also didn't ask for any support. I got lucky.
I found out later her friend from the band parents club was moving in on her. So I think that played a role.
Not joining the Rummel band cult is really what split us up, sadly.
I went on a trip to focus on fun. I came back and she had moved out.
I think she thought she was showing me up. So I called my friends up and had a divorce party. In the empty house.
I mean there are days where I wake up and look at the empty bed. Or days when I see a picture of her and the new guy online. But all I think about is how great she was as a girlfriend and how horrible she was as a wife. I was a horrible husband though too. She didn't know or find out but I towards the end was cheating. So when I found out she moved on a month after we split, it wasn't a huge deal. I moved on before the split.
I focused on myself. Started working out and making an point to travel every month. 10 vacations a year is the goal.
I'm 40+ pounds lighter than I was when we were together by going on a starvation diet and am dating someone born after I graduated high school.
So life can get better.
Though yes, every day I remember something i miss.
I never had kids of my own so for 10 years I treated hers like mine. Then poof they are gone never to be seen again. That's the only part of it that hurts. Well one of the kids reaches out, online.
I regret getting married. I have friends who've dated for decades and have no intention of marriage. That's the way to go.
I still have to wait a few more months before I can actually be divorced.
I just realized I was tired of her shite and wanted to split.
I was already checked out of the relationship and was just doing the minimum to get by.
One day a small fight over not getting me food turned into the fight.
She decided she wanted nothing from me but the furniture and a car for her kid. I had the house before we got together and she didn't want it.
She also didn't ask for any support. I got lucky.
I found out later her friend from the band parents club was moving in on her. So I think that played a role.
Not joining the Rummel band cult is really what split us up, sadly.
I went on a trip to focus on fun. I came back and she had moved out.
I think she thought she was showing me up. So I called my friends up and had a divorce party. In the empty house.
I mean there are days where I wake up and look at the empty bed. Or days when I see a picture of her and the new guy online. But all I think about is how great she was as a girlfriend and how horrible she was as a wife. I was a horrible husband though too. She didn't know or find out but I towards the end was cheating. So when I found out she moved on a month after we split, it wasn't a huge deal. I moved on before the split.
I focused on myself. Started working out and making an point to travel every month. 10 vacations a year is the goal.
I'm 40+ pounds lighter than I was when we were together by going on a starvation diet and am dating someone born after I graduated high school.
So life can get better.
Though yes, every day I remember something i miss.
I never had kids of my own so for 10 years I treated hers like mine. Then poof they are gone never to be seen again. That's the only part of it that hurts. Well one of the kids reaches out, online.
I regret getting married. I have friends who've dated for decades and have no intention of marriage. That's the way to go.
I still have to wait a few more months before I can actually be divorced.
This post was edited on 5/31/23 at 8:33 am
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