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re: 10 year old son is a crybaby
Posted on 12/28/21 at 1:50 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Posted on 12/28/21 at 1:50 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Give him a knife, and canteen of water, and a box of crackers. Drive him to the woods and drop him off. Tell him you’ll be back in a week to pick him up.
0
Posted on 12/28/21 at 1:53 pm to WildTchoupitoulas
quote:
Mother's should have the right to abort any child up until 16 years of age.
Agreed... child sacrifice should be considered freedom of religion.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 1:59 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
All jokes aside, the average kid today is fat, lazy and uneducated to the point of supporting communism. Why would I want that for my kids?
It's funny how the OT gets on a crusade and abandons what it preaches 99.99% of the rest of the time. Now TV and video games are good and necessary and playing outside is some sort of punishment if one of the parents posts on a message board 3.2 times per day, which can easily be rounded up to 50 times a day.
You literally posted "frick kids" on a public forum. The fact that it didn't even register to you how troubling that is says a lot. Hopefully none or your real life friends/family/coworkers know your handle.
Also, your responses on this topic about your kid being overly emotional come off as overly emotional. He gets it from you. His version of it is crying while yours is posting insane things on the internet.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 2:07 pm to FinleyStreet
quote:
You literally posted "frick kids" on a public forum. The fact that it didn't even register to you how troubling that is says a lot. Hopefully none or your real life friends/family/coworkers know your handle.
Also, your responses on this topic about your kid being overly emotional come off as overly emotional. He gets it from you. His version of it is crying while yours is posting insane things on the internet.
Dude, you are a drama queen. Pointing out his 15k posts was funny.
But, in real life, wanting your kids to enjoy outdoor life and activity vs. the easy video game and tv's is ridiculously healthy and reasonable.
Be less pathetic.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 2:15 pm to whoisnickdoobs
quote:
Agreed... child sacrifice should be considered freedom of religion.
I prefer to see it as just common sense. After all, Mother knows best.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 2:26 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
What does he say when your having a heart to heart with him about this behavior ?
Posted on 12/28/21 at 2:39 pm to FinleyStreet
quote:
You literally posted "frick kids" on a public forum.
Wow, literally? Omg, smh.
Much better to just let kids be fat, lazy and dumb than to criticize it generally on an anonymous message board.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 2:58 pm to grizzlylongcut
quote:
None of the examples you have given are actual examples of toxic masculinity. Mainly because they're not mutually exclusive with masculinity.
Almost all of them are.
Sure women can do that, but there isn’t a societal pressure for women to bury their feelings or be a tough guy.
quote:
For whatever reason, a lot of the posters in this thread and on this site seem to think that if a man or woman isn't too keen on showing emotions, that that means that there's something inherently wrong with that person.
Not telling your family you love them is fricked.
quote:
When in reality, stoicism is a very worthwhile trait to practice and one that ought to be practiced probably more often than it is nowadays.
I’m a fan of it to a point. Like I said, anything taken to an extreme. I’ve cried once in 10 years and it was when my son was born. I’m not weeping every day. But I also tell my son I love Him and show affection.
Also, let’s talk about the stoicism of getting pissed off at a 10 year old who cries.
This post was edited on 12/28/21 at 2:59 pm
Posted on 12/28/21 at 3:12 pm to SammyTiger
quote:
Not telling your family you love them is fricked.
This is round two between you and this straw man.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 3:24 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
My parents had a solution that worked on all 4 of us boys.
"You better shut it up before I give you something to cry about."
"You better shut it up before I give you something to cry about."
Posted on 12/28/21 at 3:44 pm to SammyTiger
quote:
Not telling your family you love them is fricked.
I wasn't aware that OP doesn't tell his family that he loves them.
quote:
Sure women can do that, but there isn’t a societal pressure for women to bury their feelings or be a tough guy.
Two things here. One, why do you think that there is a societal pressure for men to not show their feelings? Two, is it necessarily burying your feelings or is it more along the lines of not getting emotional?
quote:
I’m a fan of it to a point.
And what point is that?
quote:
But I also tell my son I love Him and show affection.
Ok? And what does that have to do with being a stoic?
Posted on 12/28/21 at 4:19 pm to grizzlylongcut
quote:
I wasn't aware that OP doesn't tell his family that he loves them.
You asked what toxic masculinity was. I gave examples.
quote:
Two things here. One, why do you think that there is a societal pressure for men to not show their feelings? Two, is it necessarily burying your feelings or is it more along the lines of not getting emotional?
There is a societal pressure not to show emotions. Healthy Indicuduals may just be even keel. Toxic individual would likely bury them all. That’s the point of Toxic masculinity.
Not all masculinity is toxic. It’s taking traditional concepts of masculinity to an unhealthy level.
quote:
And what point is that?
When it starts to break down your relationships with this around you.
quote:
Ok? And what does that have to do with being a stoic?
If you didn’t know an excessively stoic older male relative who gave their grandchildren handshakes as children than good for you. My grandfather was the stereotypical stoic male and it effected all of his family relationships. He wasn’t a bad man, just couldn’t form bonds because he was so closed off.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 4:19 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
frick modern day American kids.
You may feel this way, but these kids you loathe are your children's peer group. I really don't understand the notion of participating in some kind of Amish role-playing that only your children participate in while you clearly access the internet world frequently. And really, your son could learn some coping skills by watching select movies where boys his age go through disappointments and struggles and come out stronger.
And I'm not some big video game advocate, but my son and his friends have themselves a great time, and I hear nothing but laughter coming from all of them. How teenagers today are able to communicate with each other is pretty amazing and looks like a blast.
And yes, he plays sports, hunts and fishes, mows the grass, picks up dog poop, and most importantly, goes to Mass regularly and honors God.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 4:22 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
This is round two between you and this straw man.
Not talking about you specifically
Gave that guy examples of what toxic
Masculinity is.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 4:24 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
There has been a solution for every brat or whiny kid in my family's history.
1. Cut down a mature oak tree
2. Hand the kid a splitting maul
3. ???
4. Profit
1. Cut down a mature oak tree
2. Hand the kid a splitting maul
3. ???
4. Profit
Posted on 12/28/21 at 4:34 pm to grizzlylongcut
quote:
Or because he's a crybaby.
Yeah it seems healthy to refer to his emotional state as a pejorative.
quote:
Couldn't imagine why a kid that constantly cries all the time would get bullied by his peers.
Way to miss the point.
quote:
Because he's setting the norm for his household.
He sounds like he has his own emotional issues and is too tied up in those emotions to make a dispassionate diagnosis on the situation. For me that would be the 'masculine' thing to do, not to belittle the kid.
quote:
Or his kid could stop being a crybaby. Nobody likes a crybaby, if his constant whining and crying continues, he will have no friends and be in a much worse situation than he is right now.
If your solution is 'just stop' then maybe you need some help too.
quote:
Sounds to me like this dad wants help with his son.
It sounds to me like this dad has a one-size-fits-all approach to children and doesn't want to put in the effort to figure out what is going on, and is instead taking his son's behavior as a personal affront to himself, which is very emotional behavior. He should be a man and solve the problem without clouding his own judgement with how he feels about the situation.
Posted on 12/28/21 at 6:38 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Observe the older kids with him. Talk to them about being compassionate towards him. I find that most bullies are bullied at home by older siblings. Parents disregard it as such because they’re siblings and not peers. He could be dealing with that on top of just being a little less emotionally mature than his peers and siblings.
He needs to know it’s ok to be the way he is. He can’t help it. His brain is not developed enough to control it. And if he feels something is fundamentally wrong with him, then that could be a real recipe for mental problems in the future.
And one more thing: not criticizing, we are all guilty of it as parents… but someone suggested you teach him how to “fly the drone.” You said you don’t know how to. Take the time. Learn. And then teach. Not just for the drone, but for anything he may be struggling with. Best of luck to you.
He needs to know it’s ok to be the way he is. He can’t help it. His brain is not developed enough to control it. And if he feels something is fundamentally wrong with him, then that could be a real recipe for mental problems in the future.
And one more thing: not criticizing, we are all guilty of it as parents… but someone suggested you teach him how to “fly the drone.” You said you don’t know how to. Take the time. Learn. And then teach. Not just for the drone, but for anything he may be struggling with. Best of luck to you.
Posted on 12/29/21 at 2:59 am to olgoi khorkhoi
Future aTm fake soldier?
Posted on 12/29/21 at 3:50 am to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
All jokes aside, the average kid today is fat, lazy and uneducated to the point of supporting communism. Why would I want that for my kids?
It's funny how the OT gets on a crusade and abandons what it preaches 99.99% of the rest of the time. Now TV and video games are good and necessary and playing outside is some sort of punishment if one of the parents posts on a message board 3.2 times per day, which can easily be rounded up to 50 times a day.
quote:
Hyperbole should still make a point. Since I don't spend a lot of time on here posting, you have no point. You want kids inside being entertained by electronics and I don't. Common sense and science would side with me, but in the throws of passion, the OT can't tell its head from its arse
You sound like you want your kid to grow up to be some sort of hunting/fishing/outdoorsy type when that might not be who he is. And because of that you harbor resentment towards your own son because at ten years old he hasn’t grown up to be the manly man that you think he needs to be, and that somehow that’s an afront to not only him but your own masculinity .
My dad was sort of like that but thankfully not to the degree that you seem to be at where he ridicules and resents his own son. I feel for your kid, what he needs is lacking in some way it seems and he obviously doesn’t have a dad who loves him enough unconditionally to be there for him to teach him as he learns his way through this and instead would rather ridicule and laugh at him for not being a manly man.
Sounds like you’ve got 8 more years then won’t have to deal with him any longer as he checks out and doesn’t speak to you again pops.
Posted on 12/29/21 at 6:34 am to DavidTheGnome
I’ve read this entire thread and one very important question I don’t believe has been asked is does he act like this at school or just at home. The OP really needs to schedule a conference with his main teacher or the counselor when school starts back. If his days at school are drama free then it could be something as simple as self set expectations compared to his siblings that he’s not capable of achieving yet or ever.
I had something similar with my children not the tantrum stuff but some anxiety and depression. My son is smarter than most but what sets him apart is he is the hardest working kid I’ve ever known (Valedictorian, scholarships out the arse, etc.). My daughter is 5 years younger so when she got to high school she knew the bar her sibling set was pretty high (it didn’t help that teachers would say oh you’re so and so’s sister). A lot of words to say my daughter was an honor student but I had to have the talk with her that you are you, you are not your brother and I don’t expect you to be, I just expect you to be the best you that you can and from what I see the best you is pretty damn awesome.
I have no idea if this is the case with the OP but trying to live up to older successful siblings can be stressful for a young person.
I had something similar with my children not the tantrum stuff but some anxiety and depression. My son is smarter than most but what sets him apart is he is the hardest working kid I’ve ever known (Valedictorian, scholarships out the arse, etc.). My daughter is 5 years younger so when she got to high school she knew the bar her sibling set was pretty high (it didn’t help that teachers would say oh you’re so and so’s sister). A lot of words to say my daughter was an honor student but I had to have the talk with her that you are you, you are not your brother and I don’t expect you to be, I just expect you to be the best you that you can and from what I see the best you is pretty damn awesome.
I have no idea if this is the case with the OP but trying to live up to older successful siblings can be stressful for a young person.
This post was edited on 12/29/21 at 6:38 am
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