re: Why do we have so many weirdo loser white incel young men?

quote:

---

I think this analysis has some merit, but I think the focus on looks is way off. What makes a man a 7 or 8 is having a good job and prospects.

---

I agree with you, but it's hard for people to fully grasp the quality of a person with purely digital interaction. Women post the absolute best possible photos of themselves, and men likely post half-arse photos with scarce info.

quote:

---

I know men who are fairly ugly and clean house on women. One guy, in particular, is in his 50’s, has a very good job with very good earnings, and is unattractive physically. He cleans house. He told me he could have a beautiful 35 year old woman almost every day without hitting the same one twice.

---

Take away the money and he's just as much an incel as this kid may be (we have no clue whether women had anything to do with him).

quote:

---

This supports your POV that women are clustered around a few men, but the criteria is success not physical attractiveness.

---

But when you breakdown "success" you start to realize that women still close off 90% of men. Someone's idea of "successful" can be very different.


A guy making $70k, in his 40s with a house, no debt, and on track for retirement by 65 would not be anywhere close to successful in the digital dating marketplace.


You have to realize what images/lifestyles are projected on social media, and average to above average guys can't compete with fictional lifestyles that hit the homepage of Instagram and tiktok.

Women used to only have access to men in their locality or the very few places they were able to go. So instead of a man becoming good enough among his school or city, now he competes with a large metroplex of men numbering in the millions. But the real truth is that this is a false perception of how many men would actually ever marry these women. They end up rotating half a small town for about a decade, getting sex but never commitment. Once women hit the other side they're absolutely ruined, not only do they have sky high expectations (based on the full conglomeration of traits the men who would sleep with her exhibit) and none of the psychology that would enable a long term partner.


If you don't believe me, create a tinder account and swipe through a few hundred profiles in a major city.

quote:

---

I don't think this kid, from what little we know, seems to be that weird. Soundcloud rapper who I'm sure was trying to cultivate a social media presence will seem like a weirdo to baws on this board.

This board often reminds me of the Wyoming liquor store scene from SLC Punk.

---

That sort of hits at what I’m getting at. There’s plenty of harmless “just weirdness” and then there’s what this kid ultimately turned into.

Were we better off when we were trying to nudge the “just weird” out of their weirdness than we are just ignoring it and letting them go unfettered until some (a very few I realize) turn out like this guy? Seems to me, from what little I can see, he turned his “weirdness” into his sole purpose to exist. Is that purely or mostly a product of “social media”? Who knows?

Absent fathers. Overconfident mothers.

quote:

---

think this analysis has some merit, but I think the focus on looks is way off.

---

This is the problem entirely. Dating apps, by their design, only really give users a handful of pictures and maybe a few words of text about the person (women rarely put anything here). It’s not really feasible to, prior to swiping, get a solid understanding of their personality, temperament, upbringing, career, etc. Looks are literally the only thing that can be used fo decide who gets a right swipe verses who doesn’t.

In person, looks aren’t the most important factor for women, but guys never get the chance to make that in-person impression because courtship has moved almost exclusively online for many women. This is due to social anxiety (women fear being drugged, kidnapped, raped, and murdered when they go out in public) and online culture destroying the concept of in-person meeting spots.

quote:

---

the criteria is success not physical attractiveness.

---

This is true of older women who grew up before social media. For them, they mostly meet people in person, but only occasionally use dating apps. A woman at 35 is often looking for someone very different than she was at 20. However, those raised on social media don’t see social media and dating apps as a tool. They see them AS society itself. To them, social media is more real than in-person society.

quote:

---

Were we better off when we were trying to nudge the “just weird” out of their weirdness than we are just ignoring it and letting them go unfettered until some (a very few I realize) turn out like this guy? Seems to me, from what little I can see, he turned his “weirdness” into his sole purpose to exist. Is that purely or mostly a product of “social media”? Who knows?

---

I don't even know if this guy was "Weird" in the way most on this board are trying to turn him into.

For a white Soundcloud rapper in today's environment, he seems pretty on brand.

Today's environment, especially after the response to CV19, breeds loneliness. Who would have ever thought that the very technology that connected humanity like never before would ultimately lead to an explosion in loneliness?

1. Radical unchecked feminism
2. Diminishing father figures (40% children born out of wedlock)
3. Peacetime and prosperity

American society these days is alienating, there is no sense of community or mutual relationship with neighbors. Just look at industry, you used to have entire towns and generations of people all working for the same company that paid great benefits. Sort of a rising tide lifts all boats.

A colloquial example is how prevalent bowling alleys and leagues were all over the country, no matter the racial or socioeconomic makeup. It was a communal meeting place, face to face, people interacting with one another.

Now basically all domestic industry, and the connection that came along with it, has been shipped overseas and replaced with the gig economy that explicitly offers no benefits, teamwork, etc. You're an independent contractor working for yourself.

quote:

---

A colloquial example is how prevalent bowling alleys and leagues were all over the country, no matter the racial or socioeconomic makeup. It was a communal meeting place, face to face, people interacting with one another.

---

This book came out in 2000. It was quite prophetic.

Bowling Alone

This wasn’t Covid loneliness. It’s cultural rot and Marxism that created this