DU Melt of the Day: "Pickup trucks are too big!"

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Pickup Trucks Are Getting Huge. Got a Problem With That?

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A FEW MONTHS ago, on an ordinary day in an unremarkable Costco parking lot, I was nearly squashed by an unusually large pickup. Thank God I was wearing a mask. As that chrome grille closed on me like a man-eating Norelco shaver, time slowed. It seemed I was watching myself from afar, being nimble for a man my age, darting from the path of a towering, limousine-black pickup with temporary plates, whose driver barely checked his pace. Jerk.

What the hell was that thing? A 2020 GMC Sierra HD Denali? It was huge! The domed hood was at forehead level. The paramedics would have had to extract me from the grille with a spray hose, like Randall Jarrell’s ball-turret gunner. He didn’t even see me.

Later, returning to my car, I noticed something: The parking lot was dotted with similarly enormous luxury pickups—many new, many taking up two spaces: Ram, Ford, Chevy, GMC. They stood out like Percherons in a herd of Shetland ponies. What is going on here? When did pickups get so big? And why are XL-sized pickups so big now?

I know. Pickup trucks at Costco. Film at 11. Except that in April, U.S. sales of pickups surpassed automobiles for the first time ever—about 112 years, give or take. Trucks and truck-based sport-utilities now account for roughly 70% of new vehicles sold in the U.S.

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Mid-life crisis? On-set of impotence?

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I can’t tell you how many times I come out from the store to find my Toyota Corolla sandwiched in between two mountains of metal that make it impossible to back out without a backup camera which my car does not have. The hood of those things is practically at my shoulder level. So infuriating!

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Toxic masculinity's most formidable icon.

Second only to military-style weaponry to bolster the shaky egos of slack-muscled suburban Rambo wannabes.

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Seriously. Who the hell really NEEDS a pick-up truck, let alone a massively huge one. Are there really that many people in this country who are hauling around shite from place to place on a regular basis? I kind of doubt it.

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Irritates me when I see a disability plate on those.

I'm sorry. You are NOT very disabled if you can get into one of those and especially if you can drive it.

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It's like going to the store in a full padded football outfit

These people are wearing their fear.

And look pretty ridiculous.

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A nephew drove his home. It wouldn't go in the garage.

Ha fricking ha. I loved it.
He didn't think about it when he was buying it.
I guess his MAGA hat was too tight on his head that day.

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They're horrible polluters

Why get one of those now when we all know the planet is burning? I don’t get it.

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All sickly named after the most beautiful parts of the planet they're helping to destroy. nt

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They Are Dangerous To All Other Road Users,

especially people walking or cycling; they emit outsized amounts of poison gases, the diesel ones are a noise and smoke hazard, they don’t match the bumper heights of other vehicles, they take up much more parking space, they are rarely used in their capacity for carrying, and yes - they are both a response to and a driver of toxic masculinity in communities of all sizes across this country.

What’s not to like?

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Rightly so we call out the objectification of women

we call out the sexism. But then here we are talking about dicks, penises, and impotence.

Maybe we could grow up a little?

I don’t drive a large truck.

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