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MC123
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2005
1853 posts

Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
I know damn near all of y’all have too close for comfort with a snake stories, so let’s hear em! Here’s mine:

I was on a houseboat vacation trip with the wife’s family on Table Rock Reservoir in Missouri. The water is the prettiest, clearest, green freshwater you’ve ever seen and the last thing you are thinking is reptiles next to a 55’ vessel. The houseboat is tied up at the time on a steep, rocky hillside. The adults are swimming off the back deck, and the kids are fishing with zebcos and worms off the front deck. Well my little nephew comes running to the back and says, “Uncle MC123, my cork got stuck!” So I decided what the heck I’ll just swim to the cork since I’m already in the water. I started treading water with a noodle as flotation towards the front of the boat and the cork. Well I get about 10 feet from the bank, a snake sees me, and comes rushing towards me from under the front of the boat. I’m talking engaged like a mad moccasin raging towards me. I start back treading but he is wayyyyyyy too fast. He is charging straight at my face and there is nothing I can do to get away. He gets 1 foot away with mouth open about to light my arse up. I can look into his eyes he is so close and charging full speed. I lunge backwards, reach for the noodle underneath me and slap him with everything I got. He ends up getting dunked under the water, and I never saw him again. I couldn’t tell if he was chasing or not so I was walking on water like JC to get back to the deck. Far beyond too close for comfort and probably the most helpless I’ve ever felt. I keep replaying it in my mind and still can’t believe I came out unscathed. I was dead to rights!

*I don’t know what kind of snake he was, but he was completely on top of the water. He had a tan and brown pattern. In my flashbacks to this moment I see diamond head and cat eyes but who knows. Never saw him again once I got out of the water.

**Have you ever thought about how much faster a snake can swim than you?!? I sure hadn’t. I was dead to rights. You don’t have a fricking chance!!!

***I think your best play in such a scenario is to dunk the snake in any way possible. Grab his body and pull downwards. Hit his head downwards. Do what you gotta to get those nostrils under. I had no idea this was how to do it, but divine intervention saved me. I’m telling you I jumped back and bent my body like Neo in The Matrix, and no-look bullseyed that evil bastard purely out of instinct in a split second. It was not a conscious decision, it’s just how my body reacted in the heat of the moment. Still gives me chills.


auggie
Auburn Fan
Opelika, Alabama
Member since Aug 2013
15948 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Once when I was about 10 or 11 years old, probably late June, early July, I woke up early on a Sunday morning, and everybody was still asleep and I was bored. I got dressed and went back in the pasture behind the house, I was gonna go down to this little spring back there, where there were usually little turtles at that time of year. There weren't any cows in the pasture at that time, the fences were needing to be fixed, It had been recently mowed.
I'm walking along, and I'm almost to the spring, and I almost step on this black snake, oh crap, I step back real quick, but I notice that there looks like 2 blue stripes down this snake's back. Well this snake kind of stands up like a dang cobra and looks at me, and scares the heck out of me. I took a couple of steps backwards keeping my eye on him, and he just moves with me, that scared me even worse. He's still kind of standing up and looking at me. He's done showed me that he's gonna follow me, and I didn't like the thought of that. I'm lookin at him and he's lookin at me, I say "BOOO" and I rush at him a couple of steps hopin to scare him off, he just kind of goes sideways a little bit, to keep a distance from me and stops, and stands there lookin at me. I do it again and the same thing happens. I'm lookin around out of the corner of 1 eye for a rock, or a stick, or anything I can grab, and throw at him to scare him off, but there aint anything. I take a couple of steps back again, and he follows me, and stops when I do, it was like he was mocking me, and to me that was freaky as hell and scared me even worse. I done run into a crazy arse snake.
I make a snap decision, and start running a beeline as fast as I can back to the house. There was a place where the honeysuckle had pulled down the top 2 strands of barbwire, and that's where I headed, my little short legs churnin like Jesse Owens, I could hear that snake in the grass behind me, and ran even faster. I was thinking, if I can hurdle that fence at that low spot, that thick honeysuckle might slow him down a little bit. I got there and I did a perfect hurdle in stride and into the grass of our backyard and didn't lose a step. I didn't slow down or look back til I was bustin in to the back door at our carport.
My Dad is there in the kitchen drinkin some coffee and he say's "what the hell is wrong with you boy?!" So I start telling him, and he's laughin like hell, and he tells me that it's a black racer and they would act like that, but the blue stripes don't sound right to him, still, I swore that I saw them.
Later on, I figured out that the stripes were just a reflection of the sky on his scales.
That was a crazy thing to happen to a kid, on an early Sunday morning. I'll never forget any of it.
This post was edited on 7/1 at 2:25 am


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200
Bigfishchoupique
Member since Jul 2017
3019 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
quote:

but he was completely on top of the water.


Water Mocassin. Kongeaux (South Louisiana French). Lots of Yankees call them Cottonmouths.


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27
Loup
McNeese State Fan
Ferriday
Member since Apr 2019
1874 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
I was collecting mushrooms last week and put my hand on a copperhead. Beautiful snake.



TigrrrDad
Member since Oct 2016
4917 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
No such thing as too close for me, but here’s my best snake-catching story.
A friend and I were snake hunting on a levee, and there was a black-masked racer curled up on a tree that was jutting out horizontally from the levee. Couldn’t reach him in any way, so I jokingly told my friend to get the snake hook under it, fling it in the air, and I’d catch it. So he gets the hook under it, flings it in the air, and I catch it in a perfect loop -having both its head and tail in the same hand. If I hadn’t caught it by the head it would have bitten the crap out me - they are nippy sumbitches. Couldn’t make that perfect catch again if I tried 100 times. And I wouldn’t believe that story if someone else told me, but it is 100% true. We laughed our asses off afterwards.

ETA: I take that back - there was one incident that was too close for comfort for me. When I was around 13 I was riding my bike on a gravel road in Lacombe and saw a snake crossing the road. From the first glimpse I got at the pattern, it looked like a hognose, which is one of my dream catches I still have yet to make. I hopped off my bike, ran over to the moving snake and got my hand over him for the grab. Suddenly he stopped, and I saw the orange stripe down his back. It was a pygmy rattler. I was literally a fraction of a second away from making the grab if he hadn’t stopped. Would have been bitten for sure.
This post was edited on 7/1 at 6:45 am


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60
Tigerinthewoods
LSU Fan
In the woods
Member since Oct 2009
609 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Here's one for the firestarters/explosive experts around here.

I was about 14 and was hunting squirrels in the woods near Lake Fausse Point. I came upon a wet area with Cypress trees and short grass and proceeded to walk through it with my eyes up in the trees. After a while I looked down and got the surprise of my life to see Moccasins everywhere, I mean like every square foot had one coiled up. I looked back the way that I had come and it was the same - how I had not stepped on one was beyond me. I kid you not, there must have benn hundreds of those rascals both big and small.

I backtracked very carefully and got out of there. Not one snake even moved as I stepped within inches of their coiled bodies. God was looking out for me that day.

It was late September, I assume that they were prepping to go into hibernation.


MC123
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2005
1853 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Pretty certain it was not a moccasin based on the colors.


Gtmodawg
Georgia Fan
PNW
Member since Dec 2019
1827 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
quote:

Pretty certain it was not a moccasin based on the colors.


I don't know about the rest of the south but Moccasins are rare if not non-existent above I-20 in Georgia. Brown water snakes are eerywhere though....


Gtmodawg
Georgia Fan
PNW
Member since Dec 2019
1827 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Got 2.

A few years ago during teal season I was in a layout blind in some salt cedars and my lab went NUTS. It was nearly shooting time so of course I laid into her like nobodies business....when I noticed something moving under my blind. Thinking it was probably a mouse I paid it no attention until it emerged about 6 inches from my head heading off into the bush...a western diamondback about 6 feet long! Needless to say the hubbub my lab was making was nothing compared to me bolting out of that damned blind...nothing flares ducks like a pudgy fellow leaping 6 feet into the air from a prone position screaming like a girl....even teal will think twice about setting in that spread.

The second time a buddy and I were floating the Flint River in SW Georgia and had been shooting water moccassins all day...loads of them...we were kids and thought it was the right thing to do as did everyone we knew back in the 70's. We decided we would float the last 3 hours after dark to the take out and not spend the night on the river a third night. About an hour after good dark we were floating along when a damned water snake climbed over the transom of the boat, and in typical snake like fashion wasn't satisfied with his sitting position in the boat but set about immediately exploring his new found home looking for a better place to be. This experience is why I question the need for a welded jon boat...this was a 1236 riveted boat, loaded with everything 2 14 year olds would need to survive in the wilderness for 4 days...in other words more shite than most 2000 square foot homes hold. We had at best 2 inches of free board when we were paying attention to such mundane facts...most of the time one gunwale or the other had a negative freeboard LOL. The activity created in that small patch of floating aluminum in the dark, combined with the beating of the floors with paddles and fishing poles and shotguns and the stomping and running from one end of the thing to the other was more abuse in 10 seconds than a crew boat takes in its lifetime....and that boat is still watertight! How we didn't turn turtle in that boat is beyond imagination....something about the lord looking out for drunks and kids I guess. We never knew for certain when the snake left but he did at some point, no doubt suffering from years of abuse by his buddies when he retold his side of this encounter only to find that all of the snakes in the area called him a liar!


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20
Sidicous
LSU Fan
Middle of Nowhere
Member since Aug 2015
12972 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Couple of near experiences for me living on the land my 2x great grandad bought around 1870 in NWLA.

1st is short and easy.

Was working swing shift at a hospital, means leaving early afternoon, home after midnight. So I step out of the West facing front door and about halfway through the step onto the concrete front porch I notice the long black snake lying against the front step sunning himself, just in time to add a quick hop into my step. Black Racer.

#2
Earlier while grandparents still in the house Mom grew up in Grandad decided to burn trash so I went with him. He was 79 and sat in one of those old metal yard chairs from the 60's. I leaned back resting my butt on the old duck pen he had made from 2x4 and chicken wire, about 3' tall.

All of a sudden he yells "Look Out!!!" and I see he has a scared look on his face and has grabbed both arms of the chair like he didn't know whether to jump up in the chair or jump away, literally white knuckled. So without even looking I push off the coop and jump probably 3-4 feet straight out and look back. HUGE copperhead has head poked around corner of the coop about 6" between where I was and grandad.

Got the hoe and grandad killed the largest copperhead he had ever seen, which is saying a lot as he literally hobo'd as a teen orphan in the 1920's, worked fields and farms from DFW to OKC to N. AR to CENLA. He tossed it into the remains of the 55 barrel he used to burn trash.

Not 10 minutes later the largest King Snake I have seen comes along hunting that copperhead. Follows the exact path to the spot grandad lopped the head off. Raises up a couple feet and sniffs the air in every direction trying to locate the copperhead. He circles the area stopping and raising up sniffing 3, 4 times. Backtracks some, raises up again then slides off into the nearby woods. That thing looked to be 7' long. We let him be, anything hunting copperheads is a good thing!

#3
As a mid teen went fishing the Sabine River Bottoms with the grandad above. He had keys to all the gates and permission from all the old landowners to hunt/fish anytime. Anyway, we were back a couple miles from nearest paved road, Spring floods had receded leaving that tall dying water grass behind. We're walking along the old logging roads about half full of the flood waters still, the deeper ruts anyway. Grandad spots a couple of cottonmouth and we hit the next trail over about 10 yards nearer the Old River to go around them. About a minute later I notice a rusting sound behind and to the right of us. Another minute and I mention it grandad as it's still following us (he was deaf couldn't hear it).

We keep heading to one of his honey holes just a bit ahead and I finally spot it in a thin area of the grass. Medium sized Cottonmouth! He was following to the side catching the grasshoppers we stirred up that were leaping away from us. Luckily the honey hole was on the elevated side of a bend in the river so the land there was bare sand, the snake stayed in the weeds.

#4
Was canoeing the Buffalo River in AR with buddies in the mid 90's. Water was down just a wee little bit, enough so we had to choose sometimes whether stick to main river or take the side areas around downed trees or those little waterfall rapids areas. Well, one time we went left around some trees on the far side of a little island only to find another tree down at the far end of that off channel.

Yep, canoe stuck so I jumped out to yank us over the snag. I was the wrong one to do it as I was in the front and due to beers had forgotten the far side is where the current washes making it deeper than the rear seat side which would be shallow. So I jump in thinking knee deep only to keep going down barely able to snatch a quick deep breath before going under.

As my eyes cross the air/water boundary all I can see under the water is snakes EVERYWHERE, just a writhing mass of sub surface snakes. Luckily I grabbed the nose of the canoe when I reached up as I literally shot straight up out of the water. I must have pushed off bottom without realizing as I was standing in the canoe with no effort to climb a side! Buddy never saw any snakes at all and was like, "Wat?"


TROLA
Chicago Cubs Fan
BATON ROUGE
Member since Apr 2004
10468 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
When i was just a kid. Probably 11-12, we’d spend many summers and falls at our camp on lake Bistineau.. plenty of land to explore and We’d build many a fort encampments in the woods that we’d use for fun and blinds to shoot at squirrels and birds... one morning I decided to head out and check on my favorite spot overlooking this gulley... I took a seat and was just brushing it up when I look to my left and look back like nothing... but something didn’t seem right so I looked back and I’ll be damned if I wasn’t staring at a copperhead just curled up looking right back at me ... he was maybe 5-6 ft away with his head still but ready to strike.. thankfully I knew that he was unlikely to move towards me if I backed out, so I did with a steady measured pace...


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20
gumbo2176
Member since May 2018
6736 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Many years ago a cousin and I went crawfishing where Buccaneer Villa North is now located. It was still all swampy back them and we had put out a couple dozen nets and let them sit while we had a couple beers before checking them.

The very first pass I start down a bank to get to the water and saw what I thought was a motorcycle tire as it was black, wide and looked rounded. I stepped on it to get a good foothold and not slip and it moved under my feet.

I kid you not, I must have shot up like a Jack in the Box when I realized it was a huge snake, likely a water moccasin.

We wound up catching a sack+ of crawfish that day, but I was extremely cautious where I was walking the whole time after that close call.
This post was edited on 7/1 at 3:04 pm


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20
LSUA 75
LSU Fan
Colfax,La.
Member since Jan 2019
1237 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
I had one fall in a aluminum boat with me when I was younger,I bumped a low hanging limb and he fell in,I was beating at him with a paddle,he was coming at me and I jumped in the water.He crawls over the back of the boat into the water,I don’t remember getting back in the boat but next thing I know I was in it.
A friend of mine used to carry a .22 in his boat to shoot snakes.A water moccasin fell in his boat and he shot 14 holes in his boat.He cranked his motor real fast and made it to the bank.He had to whittle 14 sticks to plug all the holes and the bale the water out of the boat.
A guy my dad knew shot a snake that fell in his boat with a .410,his boat sank and he had to hang on a cypress tree all night.He got rescued the next day.
I saw a huge congregation of water moccasins at Saline one time.As you come from Youngblood’s Landing on the left there is a bluff.There was 150-200 water moccasins on logs,hanging on limbs,etc.I supposed it was mating season,it made my skin crawl.
When I first started fishing Saline in the 80’s there were more snakes than I’ve ever seeen,lots of those diamond back water snakes.The state started stocking it with alligators and after a few years I would rarely see a snake.


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Pirate0714
Southeastern LA Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2016
263 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Remember vividly

After hurricane Andrew came through we had a bunch of downed trees on our property. My brother and I were playing tag and I remember jumping over a tree to get him then tripping over a limb. Fell face first about a 6" from a huge copperhead. Brother ran off screaming for our dad once he saw why I was dead still. All I remember was my dad yanking me by my shirt so fast I didn't have time to think. Was a long 60 seconds of staring at something and barely breathing while praying to God he wouldn't bite.


CAD703X
Toledo Fan
Liberty Island
Member since Jul 2008
65635 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
vivid? i'll tell you vivid. i opened my pool strainer in the dark and was reaching in to pull the basket out when i saw something moving.

i bring a flashlight every time now.

Image: https://i.imgur.com/wxQa0wt.jpg


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jbgleason
LSU Fan
BTR, suck it all you haters
Member since Mar 2012
14130 posts
 Online 

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
I was a medic on the AZ/Mexico border in my former life.
Brought a patient into an ER in southern AZ, little rural hospital with a three bed ER.

I am at bedside consulting on treatment with the ER doc when a rancher comes in with one of his workers and a paper grocery sack. He sets the sack on one bed and the worker hops up on the other bed. His boot is off, one pants leg rolled up and some blood on his lower leg. Ranchers announces that his field hand got bit by a rattler. Not that uncommon there. The doc and two nurses are taking the guys vitals and what not when the bag on the other bed rustles and moves a bit.

Doc asks the rancher: "Whats in that bag?"

Rancher: "The snake, they always say to bring the snake so y'all will know what kind it was. Right?"

Doc and both nurses disappear in a puff of dust out the door like in a kids cartoon. I am standing there with my patient, the rancher and his field hand.

I suggested to the rancher he take the snake outside. He leaves and kills it in the parking lot. Best part is when he walked out the doc and nurses were out there and immediately charged back into the ER.


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110
LSUballs
LSU Fan
RayVegas LA
Member since Feb 2008
33160 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Sr. year of highschool. Shooting some hoops with my bro-in-law at their house at about 9:30pm. He shoots a brick and the ball rolls in a gap between the lattice work, under their house. He tells me to go get the ball. For some reason I did. I crawl up under the house feeling around in the dark for the ball. My hand finds a mud puddle. I feel a big thump on my elbow. I thought a frog or something had jumped into my arm. I crawl a little further, find the ball then back out. We went back to shooting ball. After a minute or two my elbow is feeling weird, I look down and see 2 holes with blood trickling out and it swelling like a mofo. He throws me in his trucks and takes me to the ER. By the time I get there my elbow is the size of a football. The ER really wanted to know what kind of snake it was before they did anything. So bro-in-law calls a local "snake catcher" who goes out there, crawls under the house and kills a ~3' cotton mouth. It was laying where their A/C dripped down (the water puddle I felt). He said I had crawled right on top of it. The hospital pumps me full of antibiotics but no anti-venom. Apparently the worst part of a cotton mouth bite is the bacteria the nasty bastards got living in there mouth. I got sick as hell and had one fatass arm for about a week


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auggie
Auburn Fan
Opelika, Alabama
Member since Aug 2013
15948 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
quote:

I don't know about the rest of the south but Moccasins are rare if not non-existent above I-20 in Georgia. Brown water snakes are eerywhere though....


Seems to me, that it depends on the creek. I grew up a little west of Huntsville Al. and there were 4 creeks that came together just a little ways from our house, and we use to fish all of them. 3 of the creeks had kind of fast moving water and you didn't see many cottonmouths on them, plenty of water snakes though, the other creek, was slower moving, and came through a couple swamps. It was full of cottonmouths.
The faster moving creeks don't have as much grass overhangs and stuff and have more rocky banks, it doesn't give them as good places to hide and hunt.
This post was edited on 7/1 at 12:01 pm


Volt
LSU Fan
In the woods near Kentwood
Member since Nov 2009
2641 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
Lago Vista, TX
- Back in the 80s, I walking down a path towards the golf course, brother holes at me, I stop and turn around hollering at home for about 15 seconds. I hear a noise, look down by my foot and see a rattle rattling. I bolted out of there and saw the snake “hopping” off.

Woods near Kentwood, LA
- Clearing a lane for travel during hunting season. Walking along and in mid stride something catches my eye, I look down and there’s a copperhead directly beneath me. I walked right over him.


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rebelrouser
Furman Fan
Columbia, SC
Member since Feb 2013
5228 posts

re: Snake Stories: Too Close for Comfort Edition
quote:

He is charging straight at my face and there is nothing I can do to get away. He gets 1 foot away with mouth open about to light my arse up. I can look into his eyes he is so close and charging full speed.


What????


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