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Dreading Tomorrow - Saying goodbye to my dog

Posted on 1/14/21 at 9:54 am
Posted by WhiskeyThrottle
Weatherford Tx
Member since Nov 2017
5322 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 9:54 am
Sorry for the longish post but thanks for reading.

Got a vet coming out to put my dog down. She's a great dane and pushing 13 years old. She's been such an awesome and gentle dog.

I'm just having a hard time reconciling the decision and am looking for input on other's decisions.

She labors getting up and down but still gets up and down. She falls occasionally because her hips give out on her and she can't stand for very long anymore.

She's lost a ton of weight and is real thin right now despite eating regularly. Food is always gone on the same schedule as always and I've been feeding extra for the last several months trying to get more weight on her.

She's incontinent so we can't really keep her inside. We bring them inside for a few hours at a time regularly but she can't sleep inside.

I'm afraid of her falling into the pool and drowning or falling and not being able to get to the heated dog house and freezing to death. Or having a health issue kill her slowly.

Everything I've read just simply says "they'll let you know when it's time". I don't know what those signs look like other than she simply can't get up, and I don't want to get to that point. She still comes to the door when I go out and still eats treats. But she can't get comfortable laying down and even when she lays down I see her hips shaking like she's uncomfortable. I don't know which signs are her saying it's time vs. her saying it isn't time.

This is the first dog I've ever had and first time I've ever gone through this. Can anyone give input as to what made you make the decision?
Posted by Larry Gooseman
Houston
Member since Mar 2014
2655 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 9:57 am to
Not an easy decision. I don't envy you. My Boykin is 6, still hyper as a puppy, cannot imagine having to make that call.

Prayers.
Posted by Flats
Member since Jul 2019
21794 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 9:57 am to
You're doing it correctly. I've had to do it twice, and it sucks, but when you stand them up and they fall over and just look at you, it's time. They don't like what's happening to them, and it shames them to have accidents inside or otherwise disappoint you.
Posted by Perrydawg
Middle Ga Area
Member since Jan 2014
4770 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:00 am to
it is never an easy decision, but when the dog's quality of life is suffering then it time to let them cross the rainbow bridge. Keeping them around while they are suffering is more of a selfish act by the owner and is not in the best interest of the dog, but wanting more time with them is an understandable of all pet owners. I had to put down my GSD almost two years ago and it was a horrible day, and mine was an unexpected thing so I don't know if that made it easier or harder because I didn't get time with her to kinda close things out. She had a tumor rupture that we were unaware that she had on her spleen and come home from work and she wouldn't move. I took her to the emergency vet and basically there was a surgical option that might buy her 3 to 6 months but she was already anemic from the internal bleeding so no guarantee she would have made it through the surgery. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was ready. It was hard to have a dog who was running around with my son the day before to having to make the call and hold her while she was put to sleep less than 24 hours later.
This post was edited on 1/14/21 at 10:04 am
Posted by NASA_ISS_Tiger
Huntsville, Al via Sulphur, LA
Member since Sep 2005
7983 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:00 am to
First off...it's the hardest decision I've ever made in my life.

I've never put a dog down, although I watched my dad come back in the house eyes filled with tears after he put down my Golden Retriever after he'd had several grand mal seizures.

quote:

Can anyone give input as to what made you make the decision?


I asked myself this question: Am I keeping the dog alive for me or is she truly still living a good life and enjoying life? When I realized I was keeping her alive for my own feelings and purposes, I had to let her go.

To be honest, what you're seeing is the same thing that made me realize it was time to put my lab mix down. And she made it easier by telling me when I loaded her in the truck by biting me....it was time for her to go. It truly is the hardest thing I'd ever done.

Now I have a 15 year old lab turning 16 next month and I know her good days are far behind her and the time will soon come. Breaks my heart...because she's my little girl.
Posted by oleyeller
Vols, Bitch
Member since Oct 2012
32021 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:01 am to
I did it for the first time with my 14yr old lab back in july. One of the hardest things i had to do. Was in same situation as you. I knew it was close, but she was wagging her tail, still ate, and happy. But it was so hard to get up, then reached the point she couldnt get up. When i saw her use the bathroom on herself i said then she wasnt going out like this, i owe it to her. The next day it rained, so i said i woule wait another day.. it wasnt meant to be. Prayed all day i would wake up and she was fine (and as bad as it sounds, or pass in her sleep) but the sun rose the next morn. And there she was still wagging her tail at me but couldnt move. I took her to the vet, and cried like a baby the whole time holding her as she passed. But soon as that was over it was the biggest relief off my chest, as i knew i did her a favor. She gave me 14 great years and i gave her a great life.. and i wasnt gone let her suffer more and more.


One advice i can give, make sure you tell the vet to give two shots. 1st to sedate the dog. Its best thing i did. They just drift off to sleep before the actual big shot
Posted by Loup
Ferriday
Member since Apr 2019
11332 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:04 am to
I think you're doing the right thing. Keeping the dog alive to a point that life is painful would be selfish. I have a 12 year old lab and it is getting close to time, I'm dreading it.
Posted by aTmTexas Dillo
East Texas Lake
Member since Sep 2018
15103 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:05 am to
They become family members and they don't live long. I have my nine year old golden retriever at the vet today for observation.
Posted by RoyalWe
Prairieville, LA
Member since Mar 2018
3118 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:09 am to
Sorry, man. It's never easy. I always cry like a baby even if their quality of life is terrible and they're very ill. They might have a good day here or there, but when it's obvious their health is in clear decline and the vet advises as much then don't blame yourself for the decision.
Posted by Sus-Scrofa
Member since Feb 2013
8161 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:10 am to
A 13 year older Dane is a pretty amazing life.
Posted by Ron Cheramie
The Cajun Hedgehog
Member since Aug 2016
5143 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:13 am to
Did it earlier this year to our family dog. To be honest, by the time we decided to put him down it was probably a few months later than we should have done it and I would assume it’s same in your case. We knew he wasn’t looking good but we saw him everyday. People would come over that hadn’t seen him for a while and they were shocked at how much weight he has lost

We couldn’t find a vet to come to the house due to the covid stuff which really sucked but he is in a much better palace now

Cook that bastard a rare ribeye tonight
Posted by High Tide 07
Member since Aug 2019
417 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:19 am to
I’ve had to do it twice and it sucks. It’s gonna suck and there’s nothing anybody can do to make it not suck for you. Take comfort in knowing that you gave the dog a great, comfortable life. It’ll get better with time. I fed my two a whole pack of bacon before taking them to the vet. That’s the only advice I can give you
Posted by WhiskeyThrottle
Weatherford Tx
Member since Nov 2017
5322 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:25 am to
quote:

They don't like what's happening to them, and it shames them to have accidents inside or otherwise disappoint you.


The first time she had an accident in the house I kinda freaked out and startled her a bit. That was the last time I did that. It's happened a few times after that and I just let her do her thing and pet her to let her know it's ok. I know she can't control it. I've been around her when she's been sleeping and started to go. She jumps up and is immediately defecating. She goes in her dog house frequently also. Have to clean that thing regularly.

Appreciate all of the messages here. It gives me a little more reassurance it's the right decision. I'm also concerned about my other dog's mental health for the next month or two as she looks for her life long friend. They're attached at the hip. There was a period where they were breaking out of the fence and going roaming and the little one never left the dane's side. When we do separate them, she is always uneasy and doesn't know how to act. Going to be a tough week next week I'm sure but at least I'm working from home and will be here with her to help her through it.

Looking forward though, I am on two lists to get a golden sometime in March and giving my Aussie a new friend. That can't happen soon enough.
Posted by Redlos
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2005
1046 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:27 am to
Sounds like it’s time, spoil the hell out of her next few days. I’m right there with you, my 14 yr old mix will be leaving us in the next week or so.

I talked to Laps of Love and they will come to our house for the procedure, I think most of us wait too long and I’m trying not to do that. There are times when I’m not sure he can standup on his own so it’s time.

Really F-ing sucks, trying to prepare my teen daughter for it.....
Posted by LSUJML
BR
Member since May 2008
45636 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:29 am to
I am very sorry for what you are going through

This may get long...
Our 1st dog was 18, possibly had a stroke, something wasn’t right
We had just got in from Grand Isle after it happened, got to be later in the day & I told my parents we couldn’t let her go all night like that & we needed to get to vet before they closed
I’m not sure what happened but it was obvious she couldn’t see anything & wouldn’t get up

2nd dog was also older, had health issues, started having kidney issues & needed fluids regularly but after fluids she was 100%
Vet gave us fluids to do at home, one morning after getting stuck once again she went & looked at my Dad & let him know

Another one had cancer in her mouth, never slowed her down, never slowed down her eating
Her mouth was disgusting, smelled awful
We put off putting her down because she was still active
She then started pooping bloody diarrhea & we decided that at that point it was time, the cancer / infection was only going to get worse
She fought it & it was difficult to watch but I am ok with the fact that she didn’t have to suffer through infection taking over her body

They don’t always tell you & you have to decide if their quality of life is enough
There is a fine line between if it’s time or keeping them with you for just a little longer

Again, I am sorry you are going through this, it’s never an easy decision but it’s one of the most selfless things we can do for our pets
Posted by WhiskeyThrottle
Weatherford Tx
Member since Nov 2017
5322 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:30 am to
quote:

I have my nine year old golden retriever at the vet today for observation.


Sorry to hear your pup isn't doing too good. Praying for your dog to pull through whatever it's going through. I've been looking for a golden for about 6 months now and they're hella hard to find and really expensive.
Posted by Comic_Tiger
Member since Jul 2020
1277 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:49 am to
quote:

"they'll let you know when it's time"


she knows it and you know she's letting you know. it's okay.

Had to do that with my guy who was there for me when I didn't have anyone in my life. My most loyal and sometimes only friend.

They know you love them and they're ok with moving on.

Take some pictures, even if she looks rough/sick. You'll be glad to have them along with the puppy pics and all the pictures in between.
Posted by TigerDeacon
West Monroe, LA
Member since Sep 2003
29309 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 10:52 am to
Put my chocolate lab down the Friday before Thanksgiving. He was 14.5. He had the exact same issues that you describe. Lost weight while eating so much. Getting up and down hurt him despite pain medication. Incontinent. No interest in playing just followed me around. I knew it was time when he wouldn't eat his treats that night. If he wouldn't eat his treats he couldn't take his medicine. Then when my son's friends came over he wouldn't even lift his head off the floor. When they gave him the medicine to put him under they let me hold him. I could feel his body relax like it hadn't in a long time. I became totally ok with my decision at that time. He snored and rested for a moment before they put him down.

As mentioned before 13 years is a great long life for a dane. You did good by her. My parents' dane lasted 11 and the vet was amazed he lived that long.
Posted by cmc711
In louisisana
Member since Aug 2009
185 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 11:40 am to
Just put my big boy down right before Christmas. He had basically ALS for dogs. It was a hard decision to make especially with 2 young kids. We went through the selfish stage of wanting to keep him around and not having to make the decision. He was always a happy dog and loved people. We noticed he had stopped sniffing peoples arse and crotch, tail was no longer wagging, sad eyes when we left him. We knew it was time and he let us know with small behavior changes.
It is a horrible decision to make. There is no possible way you can make yourself feel ok with it. Just let the tears flow and spoil the shite out of him to the last minute.
Posted by BeerThirty
Red Stick
Member since May 2017
898 posts
Posted on 1/14/21 at 12:36 pm to
I just had to do this awful thing this week to my 8 year old lab mix. She had an aggressive cancer pop up in November and they gave her 3-6 months with treatment, 26 days without. She made it over 2 months with a good quality of life, but it spread in the last week and could no longer put weight on her right front leg. When I had to start carrying her outside to use the bathroom, and she fell over monday am while trying to hold herself up to pee I knew it was time. I slept on a pallet in the living room with her Monday night and of course I was beside myself, but she kept pawing at me and laying her head on my shoulder letting me know it was ok, I guess. Hard to even type this, but I knew she was so miserable I couldn’t let her live like that any more. Let her ride shotgun on the way, stopped and got her some fries and a frosty, she didn’t even finish those so just reinforced she was ready. Sorry for your loss WT.
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