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You ever discovered an immediate relative whom you weren't aware of? - Update on Page 6

Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:29 pm
Posted by Naked Bootleg
Premium Plus® Member
Member since Jul 2021
2692 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:29 pm
My wife got me a 23&me kit for Christmas a few years ago. Back in February, I got the automated email from 23&me - You have new DNA relatives! Usually it's 3rd and 4th cousins I've never heard of, but I always check to see who it is, if I recognize the names, etc. but I was stunned to learn I have a 30 year old daughter.

I've had very profound emotions over this as has my wife, whose feelings don't exactly match mine. I've messaged the daughter, she was told a big story about who her dad was and we realized none of it's true. I'm a bit tempted to reach out to the mother but would probably do more harm than good at this point.

It's a weird set of circumstances. Situations like this with Ancestry.com & 23andme.com becoming so prevalent have created a cottage industry of people who facilitate connections or provide counseling because these discoveries can be really tough (I think my daughter is going through something over this discovery.) I've spoken to a counselor and the message is just be patient, go slow. Just wondering if any of yall gone through something similar?

This post was edited on 6/13/23 at 5:38 pm
Posted by lsu777
Lake Charles
Member since Jan 2004
34736 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:31 pm to
quote:

My wife got me a 23&me kit for Christmas a few years ago. Back in February, I got the automated email from 23&me - You have new DNA relatives! Usually it's 3rd and 4th cousins I've never heard of, but I always check to see who it is, if I recognize the names, etc. but I was stunned to learn I have a 30 year old daughter.

I've had very profound emotions over this as has my wife, whose feelings don't exactly match mine. I've messaged the daughter, she was told a big story about who her dad was and we realized none of it's true. I'm a bit tempted to reach out to the mother but would probably do more harm than good at this point.

It's a weird set of circumstances. Situations like this with Ancestry.com & 23andme.com becoming so prevalent have created a cottage industry of people who facilitate connections or provide counseling because these discoveries can be really tough (I think my daughter is going through something over this discovery.) I've spoken to a counselor and the message is just be patient, go slow. Just wondering if any of yall gone through something similar?






see this mother fricking shite right here......yea thats why i dont do the the DNA kit shite. frick all that!!!
Posted by efrad
Member since Nov 2007
18697 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:31 pm to
quote:

I was stunned to learn I have a 30 year old daughter.


Posted by Master of Sinanju
Member since Feb 2012
11637 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:32 pm to
Don't believe that DNA bullshite. It almost screwed OJ.
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
36285 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:32 pm to
Posted by keakar
Member since Jan 2017
30152 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:32 pm to
quote:

You ever discovered an immediate relative whom you weren't aware of?


this happens to everyone who wins the lottery
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
82673 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:33 pm to
quote:

thats why i dont do the the DNA kit shite. frick all that!!!



I don't even want to know
Posted by jchamil
Member since Nov 2009
17942 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:34 pm to
quote:

I've messaged the daughter, she was told a big story about who her dad was and we realized none of it's true. I'm a bit tempted to reach out to the mother but would probably do more harm than good at this point.


You just messaged a girl out of the blue to tell her you're her real dad instead of trying to contact the mother you banged first? I guess that's one way to go about it
Posted by Meauxjeaux
98836 posts including my alters
Member since Jun 2005
43339 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:35 pm to
quote:

I was stunned to learn I have a 30 year old daughter.






1/2 page in and the usual questions have not been addressed.
Posted by terriblegreen
Souf Badden Rewage
Member since Aug 2011
11158 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:35 pm to
I work with a guy in a similar situation. He had no idea that he had a 10 year old daughter. The mom told some other dude he was the dad. When they got divorced they did a paternity test and boom..... he was not the dad. Mom contacted my co worker and after a test.... he was the dad. He's doing everything possible to have a relationship with the child. The daughter lives 4 hours away and he drives 16 total hours every other weekend to spend time with her.
Posted by Ash Williams
South of i-10
Member since May 2009
18408 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:35 pm to
Details?

How old are you?

Is the mom an ex-gf or a one night stand?

You even remember her?

Did wife know about the mom previously?

What was the mom's story about your daughter's "dad"

Cmon baw
Posted by member12
Bob's Country Bunker
Member since May 2008
32587 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:36 pm to
Definitely not wild about using those 23 and me services. But this isn't why.
Posted by Booyow
Member since Mar 2010
4128 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:36 pm to
I’m sure that she received a similar notification from the DNA test service letting her know that she matched with someone close enough to be her father
Posted by In The Know
City of St George, La
Member since Jan 2005
5839 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:37 pm to
No, I’m not trashy
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
101639 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:37 pm to
My mom refuses to do this because she doesn’t want to find out she has half-siblings in Germany and France.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 1:37 pm
Posted by LSUisKING
Edgard
Member since Dec 2007
2993 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:37 pm to
quote:

The daughter lives 4 hours away and he drives 16 total hours every other weekend to spend time with her.


Posted by Epic Cajun
Lafayette, LA
Member since Feb 2013
35168 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:38 pm to
A. I would never do this 23&me shite.

B. How long have you and your wife been together?
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
101639 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:38 pm to
Probably picks her up, brings her to his place, brings her back, and comes home over the course of one weekend
Posted by nolaTiger24
Member since Sep 2008
1599 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:38 pm to
Just know that whatever you are feeling and the emotions that you have, its probably 10 times that for your daughter.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
82673 posts
Posted on 10/14/21 at 1:39 pm to
quote:

B. How long have you and your wife been together?



31 years
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