re: worst experience you've had with a girl in bed

In college, my heater was out on one of the coldest nights of the year. Girl I had been hooking up with booty called me after the bar. She came over and while we were fooling around, she barfed all over my sheets. Had to move her to the couch and, me being the gentleman that I am, I gave her the blankets I had left and piled as many jackets as I could find on top of me to stay warm. For the next two hours I had to shove her head in a trash can every time I heard her start heaving

My fault: Me and the ex just started with some foreplay and while fingering her, she starts screaming in pain. Apparently, I didn't wash my hands well enough after eating hot wings earlier. No sex for me that night

Not my fault: Wife and I had a date night for the first time in a year. We proceed to get drunk, start sex, and while she is on top she lets out a ghastly fart. I push her off, call her disgusting, and no sex that night.

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WTF? Did you pull out, faked a moan and spit on her back?

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Good question. Was wearing a condom and pretended to orgasm. I got louder and a little obnoxious to sell it. Immediately got up and put clothes on. I was like Usain Bolt getting out of there. She didn’t even have time to put on clothes.

This chick stank so bad downstairs that I faked an injury to get out of the situation when I realized she wasn't going to blow me. Lol, got a "Charley horse" in my hamstring followed by telling her I hit my knee on bed post afterwards and went limp. It was the point of no return for me and my little buddy.

Back when I was 17 and waiting tables, the only girl I had ever had sex with was my girlfriend of 2 years that was by all accounts a "good girl" and made me wait every bit of those 2 years. She finally got the urge one random night and we lost our virginity after 2 years of dating and dry humping, using a condom of course.

We had sex a couple more times, I think it totaled 4 times in our full 3 year relationship - all using condoms.

Flash forward to a month after this girl and I had broken up for other unrelated reasons, and this insanely hot girl I worked with waiting tables asked me to come to her house after our lunch shift. I went home first and then to her house, and she answers the door in her string bikini and says "sorry I've been laying out by the pool"

I immediately knew this girl invited me over to have sex, I had heard about her reputation but she was smokin hot and I was 18 or 19 and had only been with one girl ever.

Things immediately progress like a Lamborghini on the Autobahn as soon as I come inside, and before I could blink I was on her bed with her on top of me in a string bikini. That bikini comes off and so does my clothing, and she starts uhhh... putting me in - no protection at all.

I literally lasted maybe 3-4 seconds, and began trying to explain myself. I was a good looking guy and had plenty of confidence at that age and I was also in a somewhat successful band, so she assumed that I was "experienced." I apologized profusely and blamed it on never having sex without a condom before, it felt so much different. So much better.

I'm so embarrassed and just want to run away, but she continues to go with the flow and try to make it seem like it's nothing to be ashamed of while we hang out by her pool for the next hour or so. Things then start to get hot and heavy yet again and we end up in her bed, with her on top of me in her bikini again.

This wouldn't be the "worst experience I've had with a girl in bed" if things went better that time, of course.

Somehow, I came in LESS time the second time than the first - right when I was "inside"

All I could think about was how I just let this much more experienced girl down, how I must look like such a nerd right now. I had built myself up to be this "cool, confident guy in a band" at work with her, then came twice in under 10 seconds.

Of course any girl that would raw dog some guy she works with and barely knows isn't the most reserved, and I found out she had already had sex with 2 other dudes at work weeks before me. She also wasn't ashamed to talk about her sexual experiences, and soon everyone at work knew my deepest regret (at the time).

I still have no idea how I didn't get an STD from her, as she was a huge whore that liked to never use condoms. I'll never forget the conflicted feeling of "YES I JUST CAME TWICE IN THIS FINE arse GIRL IN HER BIKINI / but I only lasted maybe 6 seconds total" I had as I was leaving her house that day

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maybe she just stuck an altoid in there as a surprise.

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Some real betas in this thread. Women have periods and assholes have shite in them, don’t play in the mud if you don’t want to get dirty or however the saying goes.

Also, not wanting a beautiful girl again because her poon smelled one time is an absurd rookie move.

I know a guy that fricked a chick in a rental car after a wedding and it looked like a crime scene afterwards.

Nasty feet and a twat that stunk so bad I couldn't do it.

That was around 39 years ago and 'til this day, it makes me gag just thinking about it. So this...

I was 23. One Friday night we were making out, then while she was taking my pants off I turned the TV on just for some background noise and the bitch just walked away from me.

The smell still haunts me. It lingered in my room for days after and I sprayed febreeze , washed the sheets but it was still there. That was over 25 years ago and I still haven't gotten over the smell. I can't even describe it.