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re: worst experience you've had with a girl in bed
Posted on 1/28/22 at 9:17 pm to charminultra
Posted on 1/28/22 at 9:17 pm to charminultra
Pussy smelled like a Wuhan wet market. Tits flat as hell. Busted a nut and dipped.
0
Posted on 1/28/22 at 11:46 pm to Allister Fiend
quote:
Dated a girl who had braces. Once while getting a bj she thought she heard something, startled she turned her head quickly and the back wire proceeded to harpoon ol Moby. I never thought I’d quit bleeding.
Don’t put your dick in a black n decker pecker wrecker 3000.
When I saw the first page I figured my story about the girl I was banging’s dog coming into the room hopping up on the bed and dropping a massive Dino-sized poop while I was playing hiding the pickle with her would be the worst story in the thread but hell I reckon I got off easy compared to most you boys.
Sucking on a titty boil is something I never thought I’d read on the internet but here we are.
Posted on 1/29/22 at 12:28 am to JDPndahizzy
quote:
As I walk in I hit the light switch and roaches go everywhere so I turn it back off and figure frickit I've been offshore for 14 days I might as well get some pus
Posted on 1/29/22 at 12:46 am to charminultra
Had a drunk chick piss, shite and vomit in my bed all in the same night
Posted on 1/29/22 at 3:39 am to shagnasty 2
My insomnia has me up again at 3:30am, and I find myself turning to TD as usual. I am laughing so hard at theses stories I’m about to wake the wife up 
This post was edited on 1/29/22 at 3:44 am
Posted on 1/29/22 at 4:34 am to DMC226
quote:
My insomnia has me up again at 3:30am, and I find myself turning to TD as usual. I am laughing so hard at theses stories I’m about to wake the wife up
You can reenact some of the better ones
Posted on 1/29/22 at 5:36 am to charminultra
I took a super religious girl’s virginity. She was 34
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:13 am to Dawgholio
quote:
took a super religious girl’s virginity. She was 34
What made this the worst experience?
Gosh at 34 you’d think she’d be fiending for some dick to finally see what it feels like
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:18 am to SuperNatural
quote:
and I am finger banging her while she is watching Spongbob square pants.
Was your girlfriend in 3rd grade?
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:18 am to Lynyrd
quote:
At that moment, I realized I had a cool Dad
I've never had any doubts my dad was cool. First time he caught me fricking I had this big tit blonde cheerleader riding me on my bed. Dad walked in and did the Abe Simpson turnaround move.
Another time when I was home from college I took some girls home from the bar to go swimming. Mom is out of town and dad is xead asleep in the bed. Me and my buddy are railing a couple nurses on opposite sides of the shallow end. The girl I'm with says she has to go pee. I said ok go inside and there is a door immediately to your right. This bitch walks in the house wearing only glasses and goes straight left into my father's master bedroom. The man is a very light sleeper. He asked me the next morning if he had dreamed that and told me not to tell my mother. Yeah no shite pops.
This post was edited on 1/29/22 at 8:19 am
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:31 am to charminultra
Not really the worst but my college girlfriend was dog sitting at someone’s house and I went over there. Pretty straight laced missionary and the dog jumps on the bed without me realizing it and next thing you know I feel cold dog nose on my a-hole until I can shoo it away.
8/10, would recommend
8/10, would recommend
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:33 am to upgrayedd
Nah, she was in my grade.
She just liked watching that cartoon for some reason. Weird deal.
She just liked watching that cartoon for some reason. Weird deal.
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:41 am to SuperNatural
i had one put on a particular beatles tune.
shes leaving home.
we fricked while she cried.
I finished and left. i did not say a word.
i never spoke to her again although i saw her at a club a week or two later.
shes leaving home.
we fricked while she cried.
I finished and left. i did not say a word.
i never spoke to her again although i saw her at a club a week or two later.
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:43 am to CelticDog
quote:
had one put on a particular beatles tune
I'd take that over one I had that wanted to watch a widespread panic DVD while we fricked. Hippy chick pussy is definitely not the best pussy.
This post was edited on 1/29/22 at 8:44 am
Posted on 1/29/22 at 8:55 am to Dawgholio
quote:
I took a super religious girl’s virginity. She was 34
Did the same to a 19 yr old when I was 20. Not the wildest ride ever but I always thought virgins were some of the best with no one else having driven down that road and they had nothing to compare the experience to so you were always the best at that moment.
Posted on 1/29/22 at 9:01 am to DeltaTigerDelta
quote:
I always thought virgins were some of the best
Also definitely not the best pussy.
Posted on 1/29/22 at 9:17 am to SuperNatural
quote:
I stand up and reach for his hand to greet him. We embrace. His daughters Pussy juice running from may hands to his. Between fingers.
I’m dying!
Posted on 1/29/22 at 9:20 am to CelticDog
quote:
her
Posted on 1/29/22 at 9:40 am to charminultra
When reading a thread like this, I like to look at the upvote/downvote first. If I see something like 80/3, I know I’m about to start laughing as I read the post.
Posted on 1/29/22 at 10:09 am to charminultra
Is this a safe space?
If so, my senior prom. My girlfriend and I were both virgins. We had specifically planned to lose our virginity with each other on prom night. We were excited the entire day sending flirting texts, etc.
We had it planned out as well. Her mom is sleep by 10 every night, even weekends. She sleeps upstairs with the door closed. So the living room was all ours.
Once we get to her house. We get naked. I've been rock hard for almost an hour now. I play no games, and go right for penetration. Well, turns out she was dry. Real dry. It was impossible for me to go in, and it felt like sandpaper. Me being a virgin, not knowing what I was doing. "It won't go in why can't I find the hole!" She responds, I'm supposed to be wet idiot.
So I tell her to get wet. And she's like, "idk how to do that, sometimes I be wet, and sometimes I'm not"
So at that point I gave up. I sat on the couch next to her and just jacked my dick. She did end up giving me head. But yea, after I came, I cleaned myself up and went home. I was too embarrassed to even try again at that point. I felt like an idiot.
To make matters worse. Once I finally got home. It was like a scene out of a movie. I open the front door, and my parents are waiting there in the living room with the lights off. I was grounded and lost my car keys for a full month.
If so, my senior prom. My girlfriend and I were both virgins. We had specifically planned to lose our virginity with each other on prom night. We were excited the entire day sending flirting texts, etc.
We had it planned out as well. Her mom is sleep by 10 every night, even weekends. She sleeps upstairs with the door closed. So the living room was all ours.
Once we get to her house. We get naked. I've been rock hard for almost an hour now. I play no games, and go right for penetration. Well, turns out she was dry. Real dry. It was impossible for me to go in, and it felt like sandpaper. Me being a virgin, not knowing what I was doing. "It won't go in why can't I find the hole!" She responds, I'm supposed to be wet idiot.
So I tell her to get wet. And she's like, "idk how to do that, sometimes I be wet, and sometimes I'm not"
So at that point I gave up. I sat on the couch next to her and just jacked my dick. She did end up giving me head. But yea, after I came, I cleaned myself up and went home. I was too embarrassed to even try again at that point. I felt like an idiot.
To make matters worse. Once I finally got home. It was like a scene out of a movie. I open the front door, and my parents are waiting there in the living room with the lights off. I was grounded and lost my car keys for a full month.
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