re: worst experience you've had with a girl in bed

This dosent involve sex, but its by far the worst experience I have ever had. Was at a former friends house late one night. He starts telling me he is a sexual deviant and wants to get an escort so we can tag team her. I am not really interested and tell him I am going to bolt.

He tells me to hold on and that he wants to show me a video. The only way we can view is in his bedroom. So we go in there and he has his laptop set up to his tv. He starts showing me a porn which makes me uncomfortable because guys just dont watch porn together. After about a minute I realize the dude in the porn is my buddy. He starts shouting,"I told you I was a sexual deviant". The porn was a bunch of snippets of chicks he had banged.

Anyway I go home and make a vow to never watch his porn collection again. After that he started sending me selfies of himself flexing while in his underwear. Strange dude. I stopped answering his texts/calls.

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Where's the dude whose gf wanted him to dirty talk and he said something along the lines of "you like that don't you, you fricking retard"

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This is fricking hilarious.

We need a LLOTOT worst experiences with men thread.

Got the crabs

Not me but a frat brother finally got the girl he wanted. When he got her in bed, he lifted the covers and said the funk was so bad he could literally see green cloud come from under the covers...

He threw her arse out...

Ran into that one time in my life. Girl was petite and cute as hell. everything was going great and then the bra came off instant mood killer. i was young and was just in shock was not expect that lol

In an old apartment a girl and I were on the floor between a coffee table and the futon. I go down on her and after about 5 minutes she suddenly starts screaming and thrashing. I'm startled and look up to see my roommate's cat attacking her from the seat of the futon. Front claws were going like a blender at her hair and chest. Talk about a cock block.

Had another girl who was like a dead fish and too still. After 20 minutes or so she asked if it was supposed to take this long for a guy to finish, I told her, "Yes, if you’re lucky."

First one: I was eating out this fat chick and reached up to play with her (small for a fat chick) titties. I start squeezing her mounds and start feeling around for her nipples to tickle. Where are the nipples??? Turns out I was actually playing with the rolls of fat beneath her actual titties.

Second One: When I was in college, I started seeing this older woman, much older like 42, but I was a young horn dog, and she was an old horn dog, so it worked out. She also lived in a single wide trailer. Anyway, the morning after about the fourth or fifth we had the sex, I walked out into her living room and sitting there on the couch was her son who was about the same age as me. She stayed in bed, and it was awkward as hell, me and him sitting there in silence watching tv with this whole "Dude!! What the hell are you doing railing my mom" vibe in the air. Plus, she had some pet ferrets in cages in there, and they stunk like some of the poontang stories above, so that was the last time I ever went over there.

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Where's the dude whose gf wanted him to dirty talk and he said something along the lines of "you like that don't you, you fricking retard"

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I literally have tears rolling. I haven’t laughed this hard in forever.