re: Why do people admit someone is smarter than they are, but still refuse to listen?

Nobody at my work is better than I am at what I do. Lots of people are better than I am at shite I would never want to do anyway.

Separation of labor makes the world work

Different people being different things to the table. A guy I work with has been part of the clients organization for 10+ years amd knows the ins and out of everything historically and he’s extremely smart. But, he’s got the personality of a fence post and his demeanor comes across as very condescending, even when he tries not to be that way it’s awkwardly forced. I’m kind of the opposite so while we often disagree, we have respect for each other’s skills and have become a pretty good team even though we often frustrate each other.

Is he smarter than me? I don’t know. He knows more than me about our work, but he’s definitely not ‘better’ than me nor me than him.

I love the quote and it's true, but the dude went to Penn.

I’m really glad he made this thread though, because I’m thinking back and realizing I was a lot like him some 10 odd years ago. Arrogant, full of myself because I had more book learning than a lot.

And I look at my own words now and thank god I was knocked on my arse and forced by fate to “slum” with the bottom laborers.

Man...hindsight is 2020. But the perspective it gave me. Going from an egghead teacher to an operator was the start. That White collar to blue collar, but still mid level.

Then all the shite that happened in a short span and I was so low, so broken.
Then building scaffolds, being the only white boy on crews, black and Hispanic, and learning how to break down those barriers and connect with people who had wholly different life experiences than my own and still being able to engender positive relationships from that...

Those are probably the years that taught me the most about life. About men.

Going from someone who knew it all, to someone who thought he knew nothing, and through the fire and the smoke coming out on the other side, scarred but surviving and realizing that it’s knowing what you know and what you can learn from others that makes a better man out of you.

Humility. It’s not weakness, it’s the ability to adapt and accept you aren’t the swinging dick you thought you were. And in that, you can find confidence.

frick this is cathartic. God bless the baws of the OT. Saw me through some rough times

If you have all of the solutions, speak up. If you have conviction, you won't be afraid.

For a long time, I was the guy who would sit in on meetings disgusted by what I heard...thinking incredibly poor decisions were being made...and never say a word until after the meeting to some work friends.

frick that. If you think you're right, speak up. If you're right, you'll gain respect. If you're wrong, you'll be quickly humbled.

Seems you're incredibly passive-aggressive which, as I've grown older, I've come to realize is nothing more than a lack of conviction and confidence. If you see Jim Bob fricking up at work, tell him so (tactfully, of course). If you choose to just mumble under your breath how Jim Bob is a fricking idiot and you could do it better, well, at least ole Jim Bob has conviction and tries what he thinks is best. You? You're nothing more than an armchair qb who thinks they know it all.

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I look at my own words now and thank god I was knocked on my arse and forced by fate to “slum” with the bottom laborers.

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But he sees everyone as beneath him laborers, management, corporate; He's always the smartest man in the room. So, he is never going to learn that the reason he can't advance is staring at him in the mirror. He has no humility. and i agree with the other poster he is probably on the spectrum some place.

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He has no humility. and i agree with the other poster he is probably on the spectrum some place.

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I keep hearing about this fricking “spectrum”. Seems everyone that has a quirk or a nervous tic or whatnot is “on the spectrum”.

You know what, everyone is weird. We all have crazy shite we do. People are eccentric. People have their certain peccadillos.

Just because you ain’t as normal as a dryer setting doesn’t mean you need some label to lean on like a crutch. People are crazy, some a little, some a lot.

I’m sure they would have said I was “on the spectrum”. And maybe I would have hidden behind it like a excuse. Thank god they didn’t. I had to learn how to deal with people, and to change some of the things that made people not like me. It’s called developing your personality.

Do I still struggle with depression at times? Sure. Do I have manic episodes where I’ll stay up for two days writing, and I can’t stop until I get it out, and seemingly every new event spurs some other creative need I have?

Yup.

But it ain’t a disability. It ain’t something that’s “wrong” with me. It’s just me.

I think we have too many damn labels. Too many self -diagnosed people that collect these badges like Pokémon, because they think it makes them special, or deserving of some victim points.

And it’s stunting the emotional growth of a whole generation.

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If you’re a 20-year Oracle dba,

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Highly unlikely until late 20s for any credibility and certs.
But Anyhoots.

IT nerds and engineers are second only to female OT posters in the list of people you never take advice from. All three are arrogant self centered cockmonkeys with the self-awareness of a Junebug.

Not gonna read your wall o text but ill answer your question in title.

People are capable of critical thinking. They can identify someone is capable of higher thinking. But what they can't do is overrule their built in instincts to be aligned with the common social view.

Were built to stand behind our thinking. Its science. If you're not built and ready to be wrong, it can demolish your self confidence and make you feel hopelessly insecure. I think the most admirable person is someone who can admit they're wrong, even knowing it might make the other person think they're always right.

Thats what makes admitting wrong even harder today. Just cuz you're right once doesnt mean you're alright right but thats exactly where the human mind naturally goes.

Were not naturally reasonable. We must build rationality and self esteem to overcome our animalistic instincts.

Edit: Rising above this helps so much in all your relationships. You can identify when a person is doing this and better walk them through the acceptance process. Some will deny even the most obviously logical facts adhering to this base instinct. Anger and pride reinforce that base instinct. Approach with understanding and care. Do everything you can to take a superior tone out of your approach.

Just be aware that if someone still fights aggressively against truth, they may not be someone who belongs in your life.

Double edit: "not gonna read your wall o text" *proceeds to write a wall o text*

Educated idiots is a real thing.