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re: What's your most insane company party?
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:16 pm to sidewalkside
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:16 pm to sidewalkside
Years ago I worked for a fricked-up tech startup with tons of investor cash.
The slimy marketing EVP chose what hot gals would attend the overseas tradeshows, and those always ended with staff parties that were drunken key parties in disguise.
I was one of the few who did not bang a coworker, and did not last long at the company.
The slimy marketing EVP chose what hot gals would attend the overseas tradeshows, and those always ended with staff parties that were drunken key parties in disguise.
I was one of the few who did not bang a coworker, and did not last long at the company.
0
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:19 pm to sidewalkside
I wouldn't say insane, but a company Christmas party spilled over to a house party of one of the workers after hours. Young guy (early 20's)that worked there was already drunk at the official party and was making an arse out of himself at the after party.
He decides to push and take a swing at the homeowner who is a 60+ year old man. Before anyone could intervene, the homeowner put him to sleep with a rear naked choke and left him on the ground snoring by the fridge. He laid there about 30 minutes getting hit in the head every time someone opened the fridge.
Finally his wife arrived and the homeowner drug him out to the street by the collar like a bag of trash and put him in the bed of her truck. She drove him home 20 minutes away. It was probably in the 35 degree range.
Literally everybody was like...
He decides to push and take a swing at the homeowner who is a 60+ year old man. Before anyone could intervene, the homeowner put him to sleep with a rear naked choke and left him on the ground snoring by the fridge. He laid there about 30 minutes getting hit in the head every time someone opened the fridge.
Finally his wife arrived and the homeowner drug him out to the street by the collar like a bag of trash and put him in the bed of her truck. She drove him home 20 minutes away. It was probably in the 35 degree range.
Literally everybody was like...
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:21 pm to sidewalkside
We had an ornament exchange this year at my office. Wild times.
A quarter century ago, the law firm I was with had their party in a downtown BR bar/restaurant. Open bar, free dinner, but otherwise nothing special. A couple of legal secretaries got sauced and started over-sharing with the lawyers' wives. At least one divorce resulted in that aftermath.
A much younger FCP drank way too much Crown but survived otherwise unscathed.
A quarter century ago, the law firm I was with had their party in a downtown BR bar/restaurant. Open bar, free dinner, but otherwise nothing special. A couple of legal secretaries got sauced and started over-sharing with the lawyers' wives. At least one divorce resulted in that aftermath.
A much younger FCP drank way too much Crown but survived otherwise unscathed.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:22 pm to sidewalkside
The one that was in the French quarter
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:23 pm to Tshiz
quote:
I don’t believe you
That they do the party or that he has a buddy?
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:26 pm to sidewalkside
It’s a tie. One time watched two chicks start making out. One was married.
Another time, this girl who was a new hire got wrecked and started running her mouth to one of the top three people in the company. We sent her home. She shows up 30 minutes later and was dancing around holding a martini glass on her head. She remains my favorite person at the company and is actually quite brilliant.
Another time, this girl who was a new hire got wrecked and started running her mouth to one of the top three people in the company. We sent her home. She shows up 30 minutes later and was dancing around holding a martini glass on her head. She remains my favorite person at the company and is actually quite brilliant.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:29 pm to sidewalkside
We had this ol girl named Beth the Blowfish. This was back in the late 50's, nicknames like that were normal. Anyway Ol Blowfish was known for gettin drunk around holiday time and rubbin up on the partners. Even went home and had a threesome with a partner and his wife one christmas (word was the partner sat in the corner while blowfish sat on his wife's face until she screamed uncle; neither here nor there).
Anyway, ol Blowfish was particularly zestful one night and decided she'd try to dance on the new girls desk. She climbs on up, gives everyone a shot of her undercarriage, and begins to fall before she can stand. She kicks the typewriter back into the new girl's stomach. New girl doubles over, and blowfish sees it and feels terrible so she goes down to help, only she was still in the middle of falling. So she misses the step down, comes careening over the desk and lands on the new girls neck as she's bent over, kinda crumpling her at the waist, ya know?
Everyone stops and goes over, they're looking at this girl who has been there, if I recall correctly, maybe a month, who now looks like a soft pretzel that's been mangled by a bulldog.
Ol blowfish dusts herself off and starts to apologize, and I guess she just got a bit overwhelmed because she rips the loudest fart anyone's ever heard in their life. She pauses, turns beet red, and runs out the room. The partner that she roped into a threeway runs after her, and we never see either one of them again.
Anyway, about 5 minutes after she leaves it starts to smell bad. Someone calls an ambulance and the soft pretzel is left there to deal with the odor, on account of us not wanting to move her and be liable for a broken neck. We're all waiting out in the lobby, kinda mingling, and they bring her out on the stretcher. We walk back in, but the stench is stuck in that room and we realize the party is over.
Some of us went down the hall and kept on, but that kinda killed the party if I'm being honest.
Anyway, ol Blowfish was particularly zestful one night and decided she'd try to dance on the new girls desk. She climbs on up, gives everyone a shot of her undercarriage, and begins to fall before she can stand. She kicks the typewriter back into the new girl's stomach. New girl doubles over, and blowfish sees it and feels terrible so she goes down to help, only she was still in the middle of falling. So she misses the step down, comes careening over the desk and lands on the new girls neck as she's bent over, kinda crumpling her at the waist, ya know?
Everyone stops and goes over, they're looking at this girl who has been there, if I recall correctly, maybe a month, who now looks like a soft pretzel that's been mangled by a bulldog.
Ol blowfish dusts herself off and starts to apologize, and I guess she just got a bit overwhelmed because she rips the loudest fart anyone's ever heard in their life. She pauses, turns beet red, and runs out the room. The partner that she roped into a threeway runs after her, and we never see either one of them again.
Anyway, about 5 minutes after she leaves it starts to smell bad. Someone calls an ambulance and the soft pretzel is left there to deal with the odor, on account of us not wanting to move her and be liable for a broken neck. We're all waiting out in the lobby, kinda mingling, and they bring her out on the stretcher. We walk back in, but the stench is stuck in that room and we realize the party is over.
Some of us went down the hall and kept on, but that kinda killed the party if I'm being honest.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:32 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:and my subordinates kept calling me with all of their drama. The company thought rooms at the Royal Sonesta was a good idea. It was not. I did not make it to the next Christmas with that company. I don't babysit children on weekends.
The one that was in the French quarter
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:33 pm to sidewalkside
quote:
A buddy is Vegas with his whole firm and they have dinner and bottle service lined up at all the nicest restaurants and clubs
This doesn't even make sense.
They're going to ALL of the nicest places? ALL of them?
In one night? Multiple nights?
Come on, man.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:34 pm to Odysseus32
Helluva story
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:37 pm to RummelTiger
Let me be more clear...each night they have dinner and bottle service planned at one different location for that night. Tonight is the first night ...dinner ...rhino... club/casino
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:39 pm to Clyde Tipton
quote:
put him in the bed of her truck
Damn
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:41 pm to Odysseus32
quote:
We had this ol girl named Beth the Blowfish
Story needed more old timer lingo but otherwise nice work
This post was edited on 12/16/22 at 1:44 pm
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:42 pm to sidewalkside
Marine Corps ball was always fun.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:43 pm to foosball
quote:
Story needed more old timer lingo but otherwise nice work
Yeah, needs more description as well, but I could feel my post slipping farther and farther to the bottom of page 2 the more I typed.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:43 pm to sidewalkside
All mine have been normal, but, hands down, the 1988 Nakatomi Plaza Christmas Party wins the prize.
This post was edited on 12/16/22 at 1:44 pm
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:47 pm to sidewalkside
quote:
and getting $1K cash each to play with.
I'd used about $40 at the most, just to look like I am using that money and keep the rest. Take $100 and go to the blackjack table, bet $25 and as soon as I get up over the $100 cash out to make some of the $40 I spent on the strippers then find away to flip it to make that money back while still using what you made off of it to make more money.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:49 pm to OweO
That's a lot of work instead of just enjoying a free $1K to have a blast in vegas.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 1:51 pm to sidewalkside
Went to a party in Dallas hosted by Bernie Madoff's market maker firm (Bernie was not there). No expense spared dinner & drinks, order whatever the hell you want. No boobs.
Posted on 12/16/22 at 2:00 pm to PerplenGold
terrible ending
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