re: What's the Most Embarrassing Thing That's Ever Happened to you?

In my youth-crashing at a friend's house. Drunkenly looking for the bathroom and wander into his parents' guest bedroom where his grandma is sleeping. Walk over to closet and pee on her shoes, then give her hairnet a squeeze as I walk out, saying "Ho, ho, ho." She was awake but never said a word to me, then ratted me out the next morning.

More recently-after landing from a long flight, I groggily enter the airport bathroom, go in a stall to drop a deuce, and relax. After a few minutes, I hear female voices in the bathroom and notice high heels in the stall next to me. I had entered the women's bathroom by mistake. Just finished up, and made a bee line out w/o washing up, waiting for screams that never came.

On a Double date and went bowling. Stepped onto the lane and busted my arse. Then 5min later did it again. The whole place roared in laughter

Happened at 4-H camp in Grant Parish when I was 9. Every night they had a dance. It was the third night and I still had not danced with a girl and I was determined to make it happen tonight. So I see a cute girl standing in a group talking. After awhile I manage enough courage and walk up to her. I asked if she wanted to dance. In a loud voice she says "NO!!!!!!!!." Then she precedes to look me up and down with her eyes with a disgusted look on her face. I said ok, then I turned around and ran out of there.

I guess I can go with my glass job. I've only had maybe 2-3 leaks in the 6-7 years or so I've done windshields. Had a customer call me telling me she had a windshield installed about a year prior and didn't say who did it, and that it just started leaking. My dumbarse said, yeah, there are a lot of bad glass guys out there who take short cuts and don't care about job being done correctly. She informed me I was the one who replaced it. Come to find out, it was when I first started doing glass and batch of urethane I used had been recalled b/c they accidentally sold expired urethane. Somehow I didn't get the memo until I looked up #s on her receipt that fortunately I put on. Literally had to take her windshield out and reinstall instead of just bopping some thane in there since whole bead was bad.

Eta: Went ahead and downvoted myself, but customer got a good laugh out of it, and she is still a repeat customer of mine

Flung brisket soaked in BBQ on my bosses brand new ostrich skin boots, at my first company Christmas party two years ago. He just looked down, then back at me, and walked off. Still think he hates me for it TBH.

Well I guess I got more since this thread is story of my life. This story may out me to some people on here who know about it. I was screwing a very very fat chick on time. I was broke and didn't have beer, so I was sober, only went there so buddy of mine could get some from his girlfriend (this girl's roommate) at the time. Fat girl wanted to frick and I didn't want no part of it but me being a nice guy said what the hell, I've done many a fat girls drunk. So I get my arse in top of this whale and start going at it, I look down and see huge belly rolls cuz wasn't dark enough in room and at same time weird smell like bad body odor comes out from her chest rolls, I threw up all over her. I apologized and told her I was sick. Whale just laughed and said its ok, I finished her like a champ though.

Another time I was was free balling. I was at Lowes and old lady was wanting something down out of reach so I grabbed a ladder nearby and climbed up to get it. I stand up there with legs spread with foot on ladder and other on beam and hand her small display Christmas tree that had for sale sign saying it was last one. I had to get her attention to hand to her and she wouldn't look at me so I climbed down and out in her basket and she walked off and I was like damn, she went from being nice to straight bitch. Realized later at house I had a huge freaking hole in crotch of pants while free balling.

I went to see Hannibal on opening night and the theater was packed. I filled a CamelBak with rum and coke to keep myself hydrated during the movie. I failed to take the pressure from the carbonation into account and when I squeezed the mouthpiece as I was raising it to my mouth, I hosed down two or three rows behind me with booze.

When I was 14 I couldn't get it up for this mildly hot 18yo

shite myself during dinner with a Brazilian OT 7. 5. Retreated to the bathroom, ditched the shite drawers and recovered the date. It was very dicey for 30 minutes.

I don't really get embarrassed, but I've shite myself twice while wasted in New Orleans. Once was very very bad at VooDoo Fest.

I told everyone, including my girlfriend (now wife), went to clean up, threw out my boxers, and laughed it off.

Blow, Krystal, and several hurricanes all before noon was a bad bad idea