re: What's the Most Embarrassing Thing That's Ever Happened to you?

18 years old, riding around drinking with a buddy and a (super classy) young lady he knew. Girl said she'd frick both of us so we haul arse to my house. Grab the Trojan box and there's one in it so ole boy says go for it I'll just get head. She goes down on me first and I'm hard as a horseshoe. She and I are both butt nekkid. Open the rubber and start to put it on and SOMEHOW made eye contact with my boy and suddenly I had zero blood supply to my weiner. Like no chance it was ever gonna get hard again. Nobody smashed that night

I would've but she had morals

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Accidentally aiplayed porn from phone to TV in front of entire family at Thanksgiving while beating it in the bathroom.

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Please let this be true!

I asked the teller at the bank when she was due....and she wasn't preggers.

My old man never met a stranger. He was about 60 years-old at a Target and walked up behind a 20-something year-old woman who was checking out in front of him. He thought she had a package of disposable diapers to buy on the counter so he asked her "Is your baby crying?" He got zero response from her so he asked her again but louder and more directly "IS YOUR BABY CRYING?" and then he noticed the diapers were really maxi-pads.

That douchebag made your grandma make cute little noises like a rabid squirrel while your grandpa was away at the shipyard.

We still have slides of her in her knickers.

Nah. The kid I knew peed his pants the first day of first grade and checked out to go home. His initials were J. L.

I've fallen asleep during cunnilingus.

As a kid during a baseball game at the original Alex Box I had to take a midgame deuce.
I was old enough to go alone but young enough to not fully know what kind of "movement" predict was coming.
I shite myself before I could get my shorts down & had to sit there while the rest made it in the bowl. There was a man in the next stall who could see my run off on my socks & the floor. He talked me through it & handed me all the TP & brown paper napkins I needed. Slid me a trashcan under the stall door & told me to toss my underoos, socks, & all the napkins. I cleaned myself up pretty good then gathered myself together. He cleared the restroom out & then hollered when it was safe to exit so I wouldn't have to look anyone in the eye. I washed my hands with soap & water then left. But when I got outside, I could see that everyone in the vicinity knew. I got the most pitiful looks from complete strangers. Never saw the man that helped me but I thanked him while he was helping me. I had to walk about 2 full left field line sections towards the grandstands. Everyone just kept staring. I was mortified.

I got back to our seats & my parents asked what took me so long. Told them there was a long line & needed to poop. To this day I don't think they have any idea that I went thru all that.