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re: what is the craziest sex story you have had or have heard from a friend?
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:22 am to Cdawg
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:22 am to Cdawg
Guy in the army told us this story so I have no idea if it's true or not. He claimed that back home in California one day a girl that hung out with his crowd didn't show up for school. So during their lunch period they went over to her house and walked around back to go in the sliding glass door like usual. When they got there they saw her naked on the floor having sex with her dog, seems like he said it was a German Shepherd. So they bust in on her and to buy their silence she had to give each of them a BJ.
2
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:33 am to Darth_Vader
They should have mud checked the German Shepard
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:34 am to mrbootychedda
My ex-girlfriend works as a nurse at an ER in Georgia. She tells me a story about how an ambulance brought in a woman around 4am on a random week night. The woman was carried into the ER on her stomach in a stretcher, screaming loudly in pain, complaining about her a-hole. When they ask her what was going on, she says she was having sex with her boyfriend when she injured her a-hole. Thinking they might be dealing with rape, the doc calls for a cop to go find her boyfriend and get the full story. Meanwhile, the doctor is confused as to why her a-hole has 3rd degree burns. The girl isn't sharing much of the story.
The cop finds the boyfriend at their home and brings him in, and interviews him. The boyfriend goes on to tell him that they were having sex in their kitchen, and were basically doing it on every surface they could find. He eventually plops her on top of their gas stove, and unknowingly sparks it. The girl, sitting on top of one of the surface elements, starts to get flames straight into her a-hole, and screams like crazy. The boyfriend apparently kept going until he started to feel the flames on his dick, and that's when he pulls her off. When the boyfriend comes in to visit his girlfriend, they have a loud white trash fight about how he let her get her arse grilled.
My ex-girlfriend describes how hilarious the scene was when the cop came in to tell the doctor, with all the nurses around, and how the cop could barely finish the story from laughing so hard.
The cop finds the boyfriend at their home and brings him in, and interviews him. The boyfriend goes on to tell him that they were having sex in their kitchen, and were basically doing it on every surface they could find. He eventually plops her on top of their gas stove, and unknowingly sparks it. The girl, sitting on top of one of the surface elements, starts to get flames straight into her a-hole, and screams like crazy. The boyfriend apparently kept going until he started to feel the flames on his dick, and that's when he pulls her off. When the boyfriend comes in to visit his girlfriend, they have a loud white trash fight about how he let her get her arse grilled.
My ex-girlfriend describes how hilarious the scene was when the cop came in to tell the doctor, with all the nurses around, and how the cop could barely finish the story from laughing so hard.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:34 am to Darth_Vader
Not sure I'd want a beej right after I saw her fricking a dog.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:39 am to Hammertime
Should have checked that toilet's hands.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:41 am to el Gaucho
quote:
A brain tumor would explain the seizures and the delusions of grandeur.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:47 am to TommyDaTiger
Eh, not technically, but ruptured a disc and herniated a disc. I couldn't walk for two or three weeks, and decided to go to rehab at that point. Hurt like a mf'er
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:48 am to mrbootychedda
Years ago Ricks Cabaret held a sport fishing rodeo in Grand Isle. We were going from boat to boat having cocktails, smoking cigars & telling fishing stories. I went on one nice yacht and was sitting on the fly bridge with the owner. He got a call from his wife and left the boat to take it. A few minutes pass and this beautiful brunette in a string bikini walks up the fly bridge and sits next to me. Next thing I know she has her hands down my shorts and proceeds to "Pet the Dolphin" & finish with the best BJ of my life! Long story short, it was the the boat owners birthday and his buddies had paid for the present I received. All they told her was " He's the chubby guy on the fly bridge with a cigar and drink in his hand." Right place at the right time I guess...
Posted on 1/13/16 at 10:56 am to X123F45
quote:
When I was in my third year of college, I was messing around with this sexy little goth who was more lesbian than straight. One night her friend joined and about three hours into the night, her friend got her period. Rather than ending the party, things got real dark real fast. We started smearing the blood on our hands and spanking each other and drawing things with the blood all over each other. Pentagrams, random Celtic runes, whatever we could think of. And as soon as the things were drawn... We licked them off. Whenever I hear ANYONE brag about the wild crazy sex they have had... I can quite confidently say they may as well be amish. This same story upset mikelbr because he lost the most perverted contest.
Ok that's enough internet for today
Posted on 1/13/16 at 11:11 am to mrbootychedda
Neyland stadium 2001. Got separated from my friends who had my ticket. Had no idea where my seats were. As I scoured the stadium and concourse I come acrocss a hot drunk cougar decked out in her finest volunteer gear. After a brief conversation, she says "just say it". Confused, I ask what to say. She replies again "just say it" So, I assume she wants it right then and there so I lead her to a storage closet and proceed to receive the greatest BJ of ALL TIME. Well, when she's done, she figures it's her turn and bends over a folding chair to take a pounding. Couldn't get it up after just blowing my load so I grab the nearest broom/mop handle and wreck that shite. Walk out as she's cleaning up to go back to her husband I assume and finally find my friends. Told them what happened but they didn't believe me till I let em take a whiff of my fingers. csb: TL/DR Banged a Tennessee cougar at Neyland in a storage closet back in 01. Greatest BJ ever, couldn't get it up to PIIHB so I used a mop handle.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 11:22 am to Cannon
in college I made a bet with a buddy that i'd bang this old nasty woman in OB's for a brand new pair of footjoy classics.
I got my footjoy classics.
I got my footjoy classics.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 11:26 am to mrbootychedda
Had to mention this one as well. Back in high school we were having a party at my friends townhouse because his parents were out of town. Was upstairs getting a BJ when the door came flying open as the girl was in full deepthroat , turned (cock down her throat) to see both her parents witnessing just how much she could take. I jumped up, did the ole tuck in the waistband as I pull my pants up and climbed down the balcony only to come face to face with the dad as I guess he fled in horror at the sight of his little princess sucking dick. We just stared at each other in the most possible awkward silence before I took off running before he remembered to kill me.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 11:51 am to Shankapotamous
quote:
You were drunk in Destin and drove like 2.5 hours to the Florabama?
Whoops I meant gulf shores
I usually go to destin every summer so I'm used to saying I was in destin but this past year went to gulf shores for a bachelor party and that's where it happened Posted on 1/13/16 at 12:02 pm to X123F45
quote:
This same story upset mikelbr because he lost the most perverted contest.
Hahah was coming to post about this VERY story so I joxied.
quote:
And as soon as the things were drawn... We licked them off.
Worst shite EVER.
This post was edited on 1/13/16 at 12:03 pm
Posted on 1/13/16 at 12:06 pm to mikelbr
Spunked in my own eyeball, girlfriend didn't stop laughing for an entire week. a-hole.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 12:07 pm to mrbootychedda
The craziest thing I know about sex is that it sometimes results in babies. That seems like it should be totally unrelated.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 12:11 pm to mrbootychedda
A friend took one for the team one night. Our buddy took the hot girl home and another buddy went with them to keep the fat friend company. Fat friend was a freak and told him to put his fingers in her arse. He said he pushed them in and out a few times and then heard what sounded like a fart. The fat bitch shite all over his hand.
My buddy who was fricking the hot girl said he heard screaming from the kitchen and saw our friend by the sink with his hand and arm under the faucet. He asked him what the problem was and he told him the fat girl shite on him. He busted out laughing.
The fat girl was locked in the bathroom crying.
We've never let him live this down to this day. We refer to the fat girl as the shitter.
My buddy who was fricking the hot girl said he heard screaming from the kitchen and saw our friend by the sink with his hand and arm under the faucet. He asked him what the problem was and he told him the fat girl shite on him. He busted out laughing.
The fat girl was locked in the bathroom crying.
We've never let him live this down to this day. We refer to the fat girl as the shitter.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 12:12 pm to Sellecks Moustache
I was leaning up against a guys truck and was talking with him. His girlfriend walks up and gets in between us. When she does, she puts her tit in my hand and gives me the look. Shocked, I just kinda hold her titty for a while.
Not only was that the most awkward conversation I've had with a guy, but the only time I've knowingly banged someone else's girl.
He eventually caught us at my house at 6 am one morning. I was expecting to have to fight. Luckily, he just cried a lot. Apparently, he ended up leveraging it into a three way. So it was kind of a win/win. He got a three way and found out he was dating a whore, I got laid and realized how trifling women can be.
Not only was that the most awkward conversation I've had with a guy, but the only time I've knowingly banged someone else's girl.
He eventually caught us at my house at 6 am one morning. I was expecting to have to fight. Luckily, he just cried a lot. Apparently, he ended up leveraging it into a three way. So it was kind of a win/win. He got a three way and found out he was dating a whore, I got laid and realized how trifling women can be.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 12:14 pm to mrbootychedda
i had a friend who did the eiffel tower with this girl. he was living with two other guys, and she was the gf of one of the guys. One of the roomates dumped her, that day she went over and fricked both of them. Apparently they let them do everything they wanted to her, and then she told her ex.
sounded fricked up.
sounded fricked up.
Posted on 1/13/16 at 12:15 pm to mrbootychedda
I have a friend who was taking a shite. His girlfriend came in the bathroom and started riding him while he was on the toilet, turds and all.
I have another friend that he and his wife started arguing during drunken sex. We were at his house partying. He came running out of the bedroom. He choked her out, and he thought he had killed her.
I have another friend that he and his wife started arguing during drunken sex. We were at his house partying. He came running out of the bedroom. He choked her out, and he thought he had killed her.
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