- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: What are your best jokes to tell to a group?
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:03 am to dallastiger55
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:03 am to dallastiger55
A guy is sitting in his lawn chair drinking a cold beer watching his wife mow. The nosey old neighbor says "you should be hung" the guy replies "I am that's why she's mowing"
0
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:08 am to fr33manator
I don't remember how it goes, but your mother's a whore.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:09 am to fr33manator
Two women sat quietly minding their own business.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:10 am to atxfan
quote:
Two women sat quietly minding their own business
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:16 am to MorbidTheClown
quote:
boys need to stand up and be strong and
girls need to sit down and be quiet
I see what you did there.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:17 am to fr33manator
quote:
Okay, so what's a pirate's favorite type of movie?
RATED ARRRRRR!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
The Sea!
What's a pirate's favorite pastime?
Rape.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:23 am to fr33manator
A man was in the hospital visiting his comatose wife. As he was about to leave, he kissed her on the lips, and to his surprise, she stirred a little.
Deciding to take it further, he rubbed her breasts and she moaned.
He excitedly ran and told the doctor, who said. "Well, there's one more thing we can try - oral sex. Maybe she'll wake right up."
The man left for a while, but when he came back, his head was down and his eyes were red. " She's dead, doc."
"How could that happen?!"
The man shrugged. "I guess she choked."
Deciding to take it further, he rubbed her breasts and she moaned.
He excitedly ran and told the doctor, who said. "Well, there's one more thing we can try - oral sex. Maybe she'll wake right up."
The man left for a while, but when he came back, his head was down and his eyes were red. " She's dead, doc."
"How could that happen?!"
The man shrugged. "I guess she choked."
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:24 am to fr33manator
quote:
"He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
This one got me.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:30 am to fr33manator
Q: Ask me if I'm a fire truck?
...Are you a fire truck?
A: No.
...Are you a fire truck?
A: No.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 8:58 am to CoachDon
So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fricker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Posted on 2/24/17 at 9:14 am to TigerLunatik
quote:
If a woman with 2 breast works at Hooters, where does a woman with 1 leg work?
IHOP.
A good companion to this one....
What do you call a girl with one leg?? Eileen
What do you call an Asian girl with one leg?? Irene...
Posted on 2/24/17 at 9:34 am to fr33manator
My kids love this friggin joke and you cant help but laugh when they do it:
Kids: Knock knock
You: Who's there?
Kids: Interrupting cow
You: Interrupting cow w
Kids: (quickly interrupts) MOOOOO!
You definitely have to hear it in person to get the full effect. Needless to say when they get going all of a sudden it sounds like a damn zoo in the house with them coming up with different "interrupting" animals.
Kids: Knock knock
You: Who's there?
Kids: Interrupting cow
You: Interrupting cow w
Kids: (quickly interrupts) MOOOOO!
You definitely have to hear it in person to get the full effect. Needless to say when they get going all of a sudden it sounds like a damn zoo in the house with them coming up with different "interrupting" animals.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 9:39 am to fr33manator
quote:
The little man says "35 and you still believe in leprechauns!?"
I always heard the hook go (Irish accent):
"Aren't you a wee bit too old to be believin' in leprechauns?"
Posted on 2/24/17 at 9:57 am to LarryDavid
A father approaches his son just before the son’s wedding and asks how everything is going. The son replies that he is going to call off the wedding.
“Call it off? How come” the father asks.
“Well, says the son, we did like you and mom always said, and we’re both still virgins. I’m afraid I’m not going to know what to do.”
“Don’t worry son, you’ll know what to do, besides, your mom and I have the motel room right next to yours in case you need any advice.”
Later that night in the bridal suite, the groom is nervously fumbling around in the bathroom, try to avoid the inevitable. The bride has to take a massive dump, but the groom won’t leave the bathroom, so she gets the box her shoes came in and relieves herself in it. Just as she’s through, the groom comes out of the bathroom, so she hurriedly slides the shoebox under the bed, but it slides all the way out the other side. As the groom comes around his side of the bed, he steps in the box. He jumps up and lets out a yell, “AW MAN, THAT STINKS LIKE shite!
Then there’s a pounding on the wall, followed by a voice saying “TURN HER OVER SON, TURN HER OVER !!”
“Call it off? How come” the father asks.
“Well, says the son, we did like you and mom always said, and we’re both still virgins. I’m afraid I’m not going to know what to do.”
“Don’t worry son, you’ll know what to do, besides, your mom and I have the motel room right next to yours in case you need any advice.”
Later that night in the bridal suite, the groom is nervously fumbling around in the bathroom, try to avoid the inevitable. The bride has to take a massive dump, but the groom won’t leave the bathroom, so she gets the box her shoes came in and relieves herself in it. Just as she’s through, the groom comes out of the bathroom, so she hurriedly slides the shoebox under the bed, but it slides all the way out the other side. As the groom comes around his side of the bed, he steps in the box. He jumps up and lets out a yell, “AW MAN, THAT STINKS LIKE shite!
Then there’s a pounding on the wall, followed by a voice saying “TURN HER OVER SON, TURN HER OVER !!”
Posted on 2/24/17 at 9:58 am to Ajo Devil
quote:
Ajo Devil
Are you from Ajo?
Posted on 2/24/17 at 10:00 am to TheFonz
quote:
Holocaust or Pollack jokes are good to warm up a crowd with.
That...or Ron White's Mamie Eisenhower joke that got him kicked off Dr. Phil's yacht...
Posted on 2/24/17 at 10:03 am to LSUGrad9295
quote:
Are you from Ajo?
I am.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 10:04 am to Murray
quote:
You don't worry about where I am.
Welp. We know it's not work.
Posted on 2/24/17 at 10:37 am to fr33manator
Three men, a grandpa, dad, and teenage son are playing golf with a buxom young coed. Before the round starts she informs them that she has never made a birdie in her life. On the fifth hole she is on in two looking at a 30 ft. putt that is downhill and breaks both ways. She tells the men "whichever one of you can help me make this birdie will be rewarded with one night of passionate love-making with me."
The boy studies the green and says, "sweetie just putt it out to the right about two feet and let gravity do the work."
The father interrupts saying "no no no, the read is to hit it out to the left about three feet and let the gravity work it back to the hole."
The old man then studies the putt from behind the ball, and then slowly walks behind the cup and reads the green from there. After about two minutes he looks at it one last time and says "pick it up its a gimmie."
The boy studies the green and says, "sweetie just putt it out to the right about two feet and let gravity do the work."
The father interrupts saying "no no no, the read is to hit it out to the left about three feet and let the gravity work it back to the hole."
The old man then studies the putt from behind the ball, and then slowly walks behind the cup and reads the green from there. After about two minutes he looks at it one last time and says "pick it up its a gimmie."
Posted on 2/24/17 at 10:51 am to mikelbr
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
Page 2 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News