re: Wedding vs. Elope - Pro's & Con's

I have done both. Neither worked.

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I have done both. Neither worked.

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Lol

I think big expensive weddings are a complete waste unless you are just that wealthy or you believe THAT much in the ceremony.

I don't think they're bad, just seems like money best spent elsewhere.

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Eloping is trashy. Have a wedding and do things at least somewhat traditionally

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Except prices have gone absolutely insane. If prices return to what they traditionally cost, and parents start paying for weddings again, I will throw a wedding.

i know we are 7 pages in so this has probably been covered ad nauseum, but ill say it anyway. frick it, i like weddings. i loved mine and ive pretty much loved every one ive ever been to. i think there is a reasonable budget/line that creates a great time and the best party of your life while also not jeopardizing your lives together or being irresponsible. that line is different based on the financial situations of everyone involved.

i truly feel that of all my close friends, everyone can say that they had a wonderful time at their own wedding and it was some of the most fun they've ever had.

additionally, i think parents are well within their rights to not give the option. we have money saved for your wedding. you don't have to use it, but it's not a gift that you can use on whatever you want. you don't have to have a wedding, you can do whatever you want. but im not writing you a check.

or you can write the check and say to do whatever she wants with it. it's your money, it is up to you.

I would never pay tens of thousands for a party.
But i am poor

This comes up on Dave Ramsey's show every week and he (oddly) always says to spend the money on the wedding. It's so weird.

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I think everyone who has ever gotten married says "oh boy if we could do it again we'd just elope and do a small party with friends for 1/10 the cost" yet somehow every year is chock full of extravagant parties and no one seems to follow the advice.

There's probably a nice middle ground to target where you can have a much less formal ceremony at a venue without the entire 30k production and do a party just as grand for about 7k.

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Just wanted to bump this post since its best one in the thread. Many of us complain, but would probably still do the same thing. Will also add weddings are a big industry, and there is a lot of effort and marketing (towards both men and women) put into keeping the industry strong. Debutante balls, sorority and society events, etc. are all prep for the big event.