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Started By
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re: We have got to come up with a better way to judge watermelons.
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:35 pm to SlapahoeTribe
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:35 pm to SlapahoeTribe
I bought 2 seeded ones at Whole Foods on Mother's Day. Some of the best I've had. Only $8.99. But I agree. It's hard to find good ones. Bought 1 from Rouses, it was like jelly in the middle.
This post was edited on 5/17/26 at 10:38 pm
0
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:35 pm to GeorgeTheGreek
A large yellow patch coupled with a thunk that indicates lower water content will always yield a sweet melon.
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:43 pm to X123F45
Buy one off the side of the road but tell they guy you want it cut first to taste it.
He should know how good they are and not have an issue cutting one.
He should know how good they are and not have an issue cutting one.
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:47 pm to UptownJoeBrown
Yellow ground spot and a dry withered stem.
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:49 pm to OysterPoBoy
If you buy them from the store… be sure to check under the brand sticker for punctures or cracks in the rind. Two different times I found stores covering up damage with a big ol’ “Thumpin’ Good!” sticker.
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:49 pm to OysterPoBoy
That reminds me of a Gomer Pyle episode.Gomer had a garden next to the barracks and was growing watermelons. SGT Carter spiked one with vodka so that Gomer would get sick and give up on the watermelons. However, the Colonel was a big fan of Gomer's watermelons and ordered one for his wife's garden party, which happened to be the spiked one. Hilarity ensued as Carter tried to defuse the watermelon bomb before it exploded all over his career.
Posted on 5/17/26 at 11:15 pm to OysterPoBoy
quote:you’ve got owls attention
iny butthole method
Posted on 5/17/26 at 11:41 pm to OysterPoBoy
I judge them as God intended... by how well they blow up when hit with a shotgun blast, high power rifle bullet, or total range when exploded by tannerite.
Posted on 5/17/26 at 11:56 pm to IAmNERD
quote:
The thump method has never failed me.
An adaptation of that method is to put the palm of one hand on one end of the melon, and slap the other end with your other palm. If you feel the resonating thump, it's a good one.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 12:24 am to Jim Rockford
quote:
However, the Colonel was a big fan of Gomer's watermelons and ordered one for his wife's garden party, which happened to be the spiked one
The odds are astronomical.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 6:26 am to OysterPoBoy
Posted on 5/18/26 at 6:32 am to OysterPoBoy
If you in Louisiana you shouldn’t have to buy a watermelon out the grocery store … I only buy them off the side of the road
This post was edited on 5/18/26 at 6:33 am
Posted on 5/18/26 at 6:46 am to OysterPoBoy
Seeded are sweeter than seedless, but the convenience if seedless is why I go that route.
These are the methods I have been told work..
Dark yellow spot
Dull not shiny
Webbing defined to stem
No green on cut stem
Thump hollow sound
Heavy
I have used a combination of these and still got shite melons but usually if you get 4 out of six right, you are ok.
These are the methods I have been told work..
Dark yellow spot
Dull not shiny
Webbing defined to stem
No green on cut stem
Thump hollow sound
Heavy
I have used a combination of these and still got shite melons but usually if you get 4 out of six right, you are ok.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 6:51 am to OysterPoBoy
Gotta wait until it gets hot. Spring melons suck.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 7:00 am to rltiger
quote:
if you get 4 out of six right,
You don’t deserve nice things.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 8:39 am to OysterPoBoy
The watermelons you are buying this time of year are probably grown in Honduras last year and been in cold storage since.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 8:53 am to Kingpenm3
quote:this.
The watermelons you are buying this time of year are probably grown in Honduras last year and been in cold storage since.
OP dont know shite from wild honey
Posted on 5/18/26 at 9:02 am to SlapahoeTribe
quote:
Have you tried returning it to the store?
I'm starting to become the "crazy guy" who goes straight to the customer service desk every time I enter the grocery store.
If they're going to charge an arm and a leg for food, then I'm going to return anything that's not edible.
I returned three avocados and a watermelon yesterday. I bought them on Friday. The avocados had obviously been stored way too cold because they were black and had holes on the inside. The watermelon was overly mushy in the center.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 9:09 am to GeorgeTheGreek
quote:
Big yellow mark
we call that "sunburn".
Not to be confused with the yellow mark on the bottom of the watermelon where it rested, the "sunburn" appears on top of the watermelon. It is a sign that the sugar is beginning to seep through the rind, and the watermelon is ripe.
Posted on 5/18/26 at 9:10 am to tigersownall
quote:
Sugartown or bust
Washington Parish or bust
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