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re: We have got to come up with a better way to judge watermelons.

Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:35 pm to
Posted by Cool Hand Luke
Member since Oct 2008
2041 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:35 pm to
I bought 2 seeded ones at Whole Foods on Mother's Day. Some of the best I've had. Only $8.99. But I agree. It's hard to find good ones. Bought 1 from Rouses, it was like jelly in the middle.
This post was edited on 5/17/26 at 10:38 pm
Posted by X123F45
Member since Apr 2015
29829 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:35 pm to
A large yellow patch coupled with a thunk that indicates lower water content will always yield a sweet melon.
Posted by UptownJoeBrown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2024
9988 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:43 pm to
Buy one off the side of the road but tell they guy you want it cut first to taste it.

He should know how good they are and not have an issue cutting one.
Posted by GasMan
north Mississippi
Member since Sep 2003
1531 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:47 pm to
Yellow ground spot and a dry withered stem.
Posted by SpqrTiger
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2004
9712 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:49 pm to
If you buy them from the store… be sure to check under the brand sticker for punctures or cracks in the rind. Two different times I found stores covering up damage with a big ol’ “Thumpin’ Good!” sticker.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
105300 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 10:49 pm to
That reminds me of a Gomer Pyle episode.Gomer had a garden next to the barracks and was growing watermelons. SGT Carter spiked one with vodka so that Gomer would get sick and give up on the watermelons. However, the Colonel was a big fan of Gomer's watermelons and ordered one for his wife's garden party, which happened to be the spiked one. Hilarity ensued as Carter tried to defuse the watermelon bomb before it exploded all over his career.
Posted by Pedro
Geaux Hawks
Member since Jul 2008
39157 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 11:15 pm to
quote:

iny butthole method
you’ve got owls attention
Posted by MoarKilometers
Member since Apr 2015
21128 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 11:41 pm to
I judge them as God intended... by how well they blow up when hit with a shotgun blast, high power rifle bullet, or total range when exploded by tannerite.
Posted by tonydtigr
Beautiful Downtown Glenn Springs,Tx
Member since Nov 2011
6703 posts
Posted on 5/17/26 at 11:56 pm to
quote:

The thump method has never failed me.


An adaptation of that method is to put the palm of one hand on one end of the melon, and slap the other end with your other palm. If you feel the resonating thump, it's a good one.
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
44882 posts
Posted on 5/18/26 at 12:24 am to
quote:

However, the Colonel was a big fan of Gomer's watermelons and ordered one for his wife's garden party, which happened to be the spiked one


The odds are astronomical.
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