re: Two random factoids that were seered into your brain in elementary school

You could actually hide under your desk and survive a nuclear attack. At least that was what the "Duck and Cover" drills taught me.

Talking Cajun French or writing left handed were abnormal and should be avoided at all cost.

miss lippy's car is green

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Only have one. During a spelling bee, my word was flow. I spelled it and the teacher said I was out. I said that's how you spelled flow. She pointed at the floor and said, flow, flow. I said, oh you mean floor. Got sent straight to the principal office for a paddling.

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I have a very similar story where during a spelling bee, I was asked to spell "drawer"

Except we lived in Arkansas and the teacher had a thick southern accent and pronounced it "droor" - and I spelled it as such. I came in second because of that shite and it still effects my life today I'm pretty sure


Also, I know who Rube Goldberg was thanks to the most labor intensive elementary school project of all time

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We had singing class every Friday for the last hour in second grade.

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I remember loving my music class in elementary school. We sang 'Senor Don Gato' and 'Fifteen miles down the Erie Canal'. My favorite thing was when we listened to 'Peter and the Wolf' and we sang some foreign songs.

Scoliosis could be detected, stopped, and you got out of class when the school nurse made you bend over and lift your shirt.

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That George Washington Carver and the invention of peanut butter was as world changing as the telegraph, automobile, radio, and electricity.

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Apparently you were misinformed.

BLACK HISTORY MINUTE

Shabazz K. Morton

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Hello, my name is Professor Shabazz K. Morton. In 1895, at the Tuskagee Institute in Alabama, a black man named George Washington Carver developed a new method of soul.. soil.. improvement through crop rotation.. [ a couple of audience members snicker at Murphy’s blooper, causing him to break character ] So I messed up – SHUT UP! [ adjusting his shades so he can read the cue cards ] Stop clapping before y’all make me smile! [ back in character ] ..to end the South African cultural dependence on cotton alone. As a result, Carver came up with hundreds of industrial uses for the peanut. Sure, industrial uses.

Meanwhile, one night, he’s having a few friends over to his house for dinner. And one of them leans over and says to Dr. Carver, “Excuse me, George? What’s that you’re putting on your bread?”
Carver says, “Oh, that’s nothing but a butter substitute that I made from peanuts. I can’t digest all that animal fat, you know.” So the other fellow tasted it, and he says, “Hmm.. this pastes pretty.. this tastes..” [ the audience again laughs at Murphy’s blooper, causing him to break character again ] Yeah? Keep on smiling. [ back in character ] “This tastes pretty good, man. Mind if we take a peek at the recipe?” And Dr. Carver says, “Take a peek? Man, you can have it. Who’s gonna eat butter made out of peanuts? No, I’m working on a method to compress peanuts into phonograph needles.”

So, Professor Carver’s two dinner guests.. [ Murphy removes his shades for better cue card reading ] ..Edward “Skippy” Williamson and Frederick “Jif” Armstrong – two white men – stole George Washington Carver’s recipe for peanut butter, copyrighted it, and reaped untold fortunes from it. While Dr. Carver died penniless and insane, still trying to play a phonograph record with a peanut.

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My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pumpkins

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Damn, your mother was weird because everyone else’s mother served them Pizzas. .

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We had singing class every Friday for the last hour in second grade. Sang a lot of La Cucaracha.

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The funny thing about it is La Cucaracha is a song about smoking dope…and they are drilling that into their minds at around age 7-8

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