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re: Tough week for us...
Posted on 10/24/17 at 11:30 am to Finch
Posted on 10/24/17 at 11:30 am to Finch
quote:
His wife going forward with her life is understandable but having complete disregard for the remains of someone you loved is not.
Yea that is pretty messed up. Did she get remarried or something is why they were put in the garage?
0
Posted on 10/24/17 at 11:31 am to cusoonkpd
My words are probably insufficient, but I'm truly sorry for your loss. Be there for your wife to lean on.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 11:33 am to cusoonkpd
How in the hell do you downvote the OP? Jesus.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 11:41 am to Finch
quote:
His wife going forward with her life is understandable but having complete disregard for the remains of someone you loved is not.
this. if you're gonna keep em, take care of em.
im gonna tell my family to dump my ashes in the garbage can
Posted on 10/24/17 at 11:49 am to Rouge
quote:
This is why everyone that has a child or gets married needs to have a will
Do people typically specify in their will where their ashes should be kept? Do they have a legal right to specify where their adult child's ashes should be stored?
This is a rather unusual situation. Who knows what the DIL's original intentions were at the time of his death or two years ago when she left the ashes with her parents, but surely she didn't intend to have her decreased husband permanently stored in her parents' garage.
That doesn't make things any less upsetting for his mother, but it doesn't make the DIL evil incarnate either. His death is a terrible loss for all parties involved. The ashes situation is just a little more salt in the wound.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 11:57 am to td1
quote:
She may not really be ready to move so she subconsciously sent his ashes to somewhere that she feels safe, her parents home. She may not have sent them to you because that is a permanent goodbye. Grief makes people do strange things that look crazy to everyone outside, but makes sense to them at the time
This. What the hell is everyone over reacting for here? I'm sorry for your loss OP, but without knowing the WHOLE story its bullshite to be mad at the wife. I very much doubt the wife was doing this intentionally against your son and I very much doubt that the wife did this intentionally against you and your wife.
I really don't understand getting all upset about your sons ashes being put away somewhere that's not worshipped?
I honestly would recommend you bury or throw the ashes somewhere OP, you and your wife are trying to hold onto something that you really need to let go of and move on. Honor your sons life by enjoying the good memories, and not worry about something like his ashes. I can promise your son would not want you and your wife worrying about this.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 12:11 pm to baldona
quote:
This. What the hell is everyone over reacting for here? I'm sorry for your loss OP, but without knowing the WHOLE story its bullshite to be mad at the wife. I very much doubt the wife was doing this intentionally against your son and I very much doubt that the wife did this intentionally against you and your wife.
I really don't understand getting all upset about your sons ashes being put away somewhere that's not worshipped?
I honestly would recommend you bury or throw the ashes somewhere OP, you and your wife are trying to hold onto something that you really need to let go of and move on. Honor your sons life by enjoying the good memories, and not worry about something like his ashes. I can promise your son would not want you and your wife worrying about this.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 12:15 pm to baldona
quote:
I really don't understand getting all upset about your sons ashes being put away somewhere that's not worshipped?
Look at it from OP's perspective. He and his wife probably view it as his son is just sitting in the garage like a box of old rags or a lawn mower.
I totally get where you are coming from, but there are a lot of emotions at play here. OP needed to vent, he came here. Well within his right to do so.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 12:22 pm to FearTheFish
quote:
Look at it from OP's perspective. He and his wife probably view it as his son is just sitting in the garage like a box of old rags or a lawn mower.
I totally get where you are coming from, but there are a lot of emotions at play here. OP needed to vent, he came here. Well within his right to do so.
Agreed about him being able to vent, and I certainly don't question their emotions. However, I also don't necessarily question the wife's actions either. We don't have much to go on. Maybe she couldn't bear the thought of dumping her husband's ashes someone, and the thought of calling her in laws to ask "hey, would you like your dead son's ashes, I don't?" is something she felt uncomfortable doing.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 12:26 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
Maybe she couldn't bear the thought of dumping her husband's ashes someone, and the thought of calling her in laws to ask "hey, would you like your dead son's ashes, I don't?
That's a good point. Complex for everyone.
Posted on 10/24/17 at 12:36 pm to cusoonkpd
Thoughts and prayers are with you. For the life of me I can't understand her actions.
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