re: the most embarrassed you’ve ever been

boooooooooo

quote:

---

boooooooooo

---

I’m surprised nobody caught that. It’s a pretty popular meme

Went to the Chimes one Ash Wednesday Night with my SO and my roommates since nothing else was open. Unfortunately, she is allergic to fish AND peanuts. Well, while we were still looking over the menu, this big steaming platter of fried fish goes by and she starts choking caughing. She's having an allergy attack and her medicine is back at my apartment, so we rush back to the car and get in only for me to bump a car in the parking lot as I'm trying to back out (kinda was in a hurry with her throat closing up).

I got out, looked at the damage, didn't see anything that didn't look like it wasn't already there, and drove off to the apartment to bring her to her medicine. We never got any dinner, but she didn't die, so I'll call that a win.

A couple months later, though, I get a call from Baton Rouge PD asking me to come in for questioning, but they refused to tell me what it was about. I arranged a time to meet with them and showed up at the precinct. The officer said he was charging me with felony hit and run and that I needed to tell him exactly what happened or he was going to book me there and then (more than a little embarrassing).

Apparently, one of the waitresses was smoking a cig in the parking lot at the time and saw this happen. The car belonged to a friend of hers, so she called it in.

After I explained the situation to the officer and he talked to the wait staff that corroborated us leaving in a panic, they agreed to drop the charges, but my insurance (read me) had to cover the repair costs to their vehicle...over $2000 WORTH OF DAMAGE (which was absolute bs since there was barely a scratch on their bumper). However, since $2k was better than prison, I had to suck it up and pay it.

I'm still mad about that. I wanted blackened gator and never got any.

My whole life is just one embarrassing situation after another. I’m just that awkward of a person.

No shite...

audible sneeze-fart in 1st grade. blamed it on robert the smelly kid. the whole class laughed at him. he knew the truth.

I've witnessed someone in a work setting speaking in front of a crowd begin to tear up with their voice cracking. Same thing totally unnecessarily and out of place.

I was living in a small town in the 11th grade, so we just hung out at each other’s houses and rode around town looking for girls, alcohol and parties, etc. I was hanging with Bobby and Darrell one night drinking illicit beer, and Bobby wants to go by Gwen’s house, this girl he is hot on. We go over there and Gwen has her two friends over, Rhonda and Jodi. The pecking order in degree’s of hotness were Gwen, (super hot), Rhonda, (above average hotness) and Jodi, (mini-whale with a good face). I had just moved here the year before and am outsider of the bunch. They all want to ride around in Bobby’s skylark and I’m feeling like the odd man out but go along. We end up parked on some unfinished road in an industrial park and Bobby and Darrell get out with the two hotties and leave me there with Jodi, who I only had seen around at school.

My buddies leave the windows down and the front doors open, (inside lights out) with a Boz Scaggs 8 track playing while they make out on the Trunk of the car with their girls sitting on the cars with legs wrapped around them, while they stand. I’m sitting there thinking, “ shite, what am I supposed to do, I don’t want to be mean”. Boz starts crooning, “What Have You Done to Me” and I get caught up in the moment and start making out with Jodi. Nothing past tongues probing and a hand on titty but it just seemed like the right thing to do at the moment.

Later on, my buddies and their girls got in the car with their sheepish grins and we dropped them off at Gwen’s. No sooner than the car doors close, than Darrell starts calling me Jodi and laughing at me because I had made out with the porker in the group. They had been watching us from the rear of the car and had apparently gotten snubbed by their girls, so they all just watched and schemed as Jodi and I had our Boz Scaggs moment.

The next Monday morning, word had gotten out all over school that I had been making out with Jodi and all my friends would walk up to me with a smile on their face and just whisper “Jodi” and start cracking up. I was mortified because it just wasn’t cool and to make matters worse I went out of my way to be a dick to Jodi. Every time I saw her she would smile and say “hi, Doggy” but I would just be rude and ignore her. She was a really nice person, but the stigma of making out with a fattie in high school was just too much for me to bear.

I am in my 50’s now and every two or three years I go back home and attend a Christmas party one of my classmates hosts. Bobby and Darrell show up and Darrell always walks up to me and smiles while bro hugging and calls me “Jodi”. After all those years, it still gets under my skin in much the same way as it did when I was 16.

quote:

---

I got caught sucking my own dick by my mom in my teens.

---

Hell of a flashback, Flashback