re: Tell us about the date that made you realize you were gay..

I ordered a beer, he ordered white Zinfandel. It didn't get any better from there.

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I ordered a beer, he ordered white Zinfandel. It didn't get any better from there.

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H.S. - picked up a girl at 7:00 for a dinner date that involved driving to another town thirty minutes away. Get in the car, and she says "I need to be home at 8:30." I turn around and drop her off.

Got set up on a double dinner date with a co-worker and her friend in Philadelphia. She was fugly. Just, blahhh. I was polite, generous with conversation, but I split right after coffee.

Next day, the coworker asks if I would date her friend, I politley declined...said something lame about not being ready to date after recent breakup. She says its cool, she will let friend down easy. I then admitted that I just wasnt attracted was the real deal.

Big mistake with the honesty...

That very night, Fugly shows up at my apt. (My co-worker didn't even know my address, I still don't know how she located me) I wouldn't answer at first, but she just knocked harder. I open the door and she proceeds to light into me right there on the stoop: first of all, my accent is embarassing, I was a dumb southern frick and I need to keep my confederate flags hidden (?)
I was inbred...LSU is for dumbfricks...says some other shite before she storms back to her car, turns to face me again and adds the cherry on top:
"And oh yeah, I prefer fricking black men! How ya like that, Billy-Bob??!!"

She takes off, flipping me off as she guns it...and T-bones the Pee-Whine shite out of a car backing out of the building next door...destroying her car's front-end and totaling this Asian dude's 4-Runner.

I had dinner with this bitch once, and with another couple at that.

I wonder why she was single...

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Going on a double date. Me, my date, & my roommate go to pick up her date & some guy's at her apartment. She tells him that she can't go out w/ us because she "pulled a calf muscle." My worst date when she was going w/ me was some chick who worked at McDonald's, so she wanted to go there to "see her friends." We proceed to order there. She got two cheeseburgers w/ mayo on them. When she's talking to me her tongue was white & taste buds were red. I was grossed out & for the longest time one of my first questions to a date was, "Do you eat mayo?"

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Bro you sound like you have led an exciting life! Tell me MOAR!!

This was not my worst first date ever, but I had a front row seat.

In the mid-nineties my friend Chris and I were both students at Auburn. Chris was AOL chatting a girl who went to college in Florida. The chatting got serious and she invited Chris to bring some friends and she would get a few of her sorority sisters and we would all go to the Daytona 500 for free.

This girl's Aunt worked for NASCAR selling merchandise and got free infield tickets.

Chris and I were not race fans but the prospect of spending the night drinking and camping in the infield with sorority girls from Florida was promising so I was in.

At the time Auburn rented camping equipment to students for free so we picked up what we needed and headed to Jacksonville Fl. where we were going to spend Friday night at her Aunt's house (The Aunt was already in Daytona).

Friday night I was the third wheel, and after going to a bar Chris and the girl sealed the deal in the guest bedroom while I slept on the living room couch.

Saturday we were meeting the other girls at a restaurant in Jacksonville then heading to Daytona in time to catch the Bush Race.

Instead of meeting girls this guy shows up whose name is Flipper. The girl tells Chris and I that Flipper is her cousin. I am not happy, but I figure I will go to the race and have a good time.

Turns out the girl was dating Flipper and told him Chris was her cousin.

It was very awkward as this girl would hold Chris's hand then ten minutes later Flippers. Then make out with Flipper for a while then an hour later make out with Chris.

This girls plan was looking like it would end in a devil's threesome in a rented tent in the Daytona Infield.

I told Chris he was on his own and I was sleeping in the truck.

He did not talk about what happened in the tent that night, and it was a very quiet ride back to Auburn.

No good Tinder stories yet?

My singular worst was from my brief time on Tinder. Thought I might have to get a restraining order on a girl.

That reminds me of when I was a freshly minted high school graduate. I was hooking up with a friends younger sister friend at said friends house. She had just finished her sophomore year. Well things were getting a little hot and heavy so I asked her how far she was willing to go. That's when she told me she had been raped by her dad. Thankfully my friend's parents caught us a few seconds later and I had an excuse to nope the frick out.

Yeah that's not true