re: Tell me about a time you really fricked something up and got away with it.

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into her side, Chief. We was comin’ back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We’d just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes.

Didn’t see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin’ from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn’t know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin’ by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that shark he go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away.

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces.

You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don’t know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin’, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson’s mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist.

At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol’ fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.

Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

In 6th grade, playing capture the flag or something like that at a friends house, I stood up on what I think was their pool pump. I was standing on nothing but probably 1.5” PVC pipe which broke. Water started going everywhere, I slinked off and didn’t tell anyone, their yard flooded.

Everything else I’ve ever done, I’ve admitted to or gotten caught

what is it with arky posters and admitting crimes on TD?

Won’t mention the terrible things, more the fun things.

In college I was going to move, lifted up my mattress to find a slice of pizza that had been placed between my mattress and box spring. Was apparently about a year old and was a joke by my roommates. Also tells you that I didn’t flip the mattress.

In retaliation to one of them, I put a big dill pickle between his mattress and box spring. Well he was younger and didn’t graduate for a few years. Went to move and the pickle was still there. Like a piece of cardboard.

Anyway, no way I’d put the heavy stuff in here.

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baldona



Is this how Oweo ended up in a chair?

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Are you gonna be a douchebag your entire life? How do the rest of you just sit on deaf ears when morons like this harass Oweo because of his disability? I suspect most of you would never let a classless act like this go unchecked if you saw it IRL, yet its ok because its on a message board or involves Oweo. Shame on you!!!!

It's amazing how many words you use to say nothing.

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I worked at Best Buy in high school, knew the managers override code, had my friend come through and grab about 2,000 worth of PlayStation games, computer and audio equipment, run him up, said he paid cash, gave him the receipt so he could get out the front door then when he was clear voided the entire order. No one e we had a clue

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Hope you’re past the statute of limitations

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It is also fraud and that starts from when it is discovered, not when it is committed, so the clock hasn't even started until someone sends this to Best Buy and they see it

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When and whereabouts were this adventure?

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Meet me at the Sonic in Burbank and I’ll show you.

In 1st grade this little turd kid named Brad goaded me into writing profanities on the boys bathroom wall at school. It wasn’t something I’d normally do, but I guess I wanted to impress this kid. The next day, my teacher Ms. Green pulled me out of class into the hallway and said “I know what you wrote in the bathroom yesterday and I am very disappointed.” My heart sank. Then she pointed down the hall and said, “You need to go to Mr. Smith’s office (the principal) and tell him what you did.”

Walking down the hallway, it felt like my life was over. I was petrified. And then it hit me.

I told the principal’s secretary that Ms. Green sent me to see Mr. Smith. She motioned to the doorway and said I could go in. So I walk in and old man Smith is sitting at his desk reading something. I said “Ms Green wanted me to tell you that Brad wrote bad words in the bathroom.” He looks up from his desk, shakes his head, and goes “That kid just can’t stay out of trouble. Thanks for letting me know, get back to class.”

I never heard another word about it.

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