re: Strangest First Date/Blind Date Stories

I learned after this to never make a first date a meal. This was just so weird and seemed to have nothing going for her or anything going on upstairs. She was good enough looking on Bumble, but when she got there it became apparent to me that those pictures were from years ago.

And she has to be the worst conversationalist I’ve ever met. Like asking her “What are your favorite movies.” “I like most of them.” “So you like Shawshank Redemption?” “Never heard of it.”

And then jewel at the end and the food was being served at the end of this exchange.

“What kind of music do you like?”
“I like most of it.”
“Any specific genre?”
“Not really.”
“Fan of the Beatles?”
“Never heard of them.”
*Food is put before us.*
“...Yeah, I’m going to finish this pasta and then just go pay up front.”

That’s the worst date I’ve been on. Wasn’t sure if I wasn’t being deliberately trolled or not, but I sure as shite have never had a first date since then going out to eat without at least meeting them in person once.

I went to dinner with my dad at a hot spot in River Oaks/Kirby area. A group of older ladies sat down at the table next to us. I stood up to go to the bathroom and one of the ladies asked me, very straight forward, if I was single. At the time yes, came back and she said she had a niece that was recently single and looking for someone to take her mind of him.
Next morning I meet this girl, with her aunt, at some sot in West U and holy shite she was a smoke show. 5'9/10, blonde, clearly MRS degree...until she put her hand down and it had an aggie ring.


Damn, she was a dude.



Not really but she was an aggie.

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Essentially got catfished by a girl who was at least 150 lbs heavier than her old picture. 

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I've gone on one blind date in my life and that was enough. Some girl I met on yahoo chat rooms in college in about 1998. She was nice enough but about a 3 when the picture she emailed me (I think) was about a 7

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we will go shopping tomorrow and how she can’t wait to move in an American’s apartment.

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For some reason, a lot of Asian girls are really materialistic. They also equate white with status/money. You probably dodged a major bullet but she probably would have loved you long time.

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When she says she doesn’t have any money, I give her 20 kuai (equivalent to $3) and wish her the best of luck leaving her in the monsoon.

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You seriously didn't frick her before forking over the $3? Seriously?

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The joke is that’s not enough for a cab ride.

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Plenty enough for a ride, however... lol ;)

Date from Match.com. She was fat - which I knew - but was fatter than her pictures and really had a fat girl mentality. Like, she wore a dress with a bow on the back. We went to some old pool hall in North Gulfport. I kissed her and could have sealed the deal but I just wasn't into it.

It was the night Jimmy Welker got to take a couple of snaps against ULL and he looked a lot happier than I did.

Well let’s see here.

My last ex girlfriend. I went to pick her up at her house to go eat sushi and Thai food. She walked me to the bedroom, got on top of me and said, “We ain’t gotta go nowhere”. She was a total nymph. All she wanted to do was drink, smoke pot and have sex. Well, she got 1 out of 3. If it was 20 years ago, she’d got all three but at 37 years old, nah. Two weeks into dating her, she was already making future plans of marriage and living together. I knew this wasn’t gonna end well and it didn’t.

Double dated with a couple one night. We went back to the girls place, the other couple went to her bedroom. The guy she was with had too much to drink and got the whiskey dick. She got so mad she kicked him out of bed and threw the lamp off the nightstand at him. Me and my date quietly left.

One night this girl and I went out to dinner. Her roommate was a druggie. We came back to their place and the roommate was getting tag teamed by two Mexican drug dealers. She had no money for crack, so she paid with her arse. We just quietly tip toed to her room, lock the door and had sex. This bitch was just nasty. Even had a crack baby that only lived a year. She eventually moved to Louisville and got her shite together last I heard.

Only other one I can think of is taking this girl to a bar. Some baws knew her and tried to take her away from me and it worked. So I just got up and left her there. About 2 a.m. she called wanting me to pick her up. When I asked why it was because she told them she wasn’t going back to their place so they left her. I chose to be the gentleman and picked her up. She had me drive her out into the sticks and park. We fricked in the back seat. A few weeks later, we ended up going to a club with her girlfriends. On the way home, she blew me in the backseat while her friends watched.

There is no normal date with me and Kentucky bawettes are freaky as all can get out.

Too many stories to tell.

I was stuck going on a blind date with a business associate of mine who needed a wing man so that he could take out a young Jewish lady.

I couldn't wait to get away. I was ordering the dessert when they were eating dinner. When they were having coffee, I was asking for a check.

I missed a follow-up date the following week. They tracked me down. The woman jumped out of my friend's car and yelled:

"You've got some nerve. Standing me up. Nobody does that to me. Who do you think you are? A big shot?"

We ended up getting married but it didn't last.