re: Strangest First Date/Blind Date Stories

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I was stuck going on a blind date with a business associate of mine who needed a wing man so that he could take out a young Jewish lady.

I couldn't wait to get away. I was ordering the dessert when they were eating dinner. When they were having coffee, I was asking for a check.

I missed a follow-up date the following week. They tracked me down. The woman jumped out of my friend's car and yelled:

"You've got some nerve. Standing me up. Nobody does that to me. Who do you think you are? A big shot?"

We ended up getting married but it didn't last.

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Sounds like the original Karen.

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the girl said i could frick her but it had to be under certain conditions.
1. her housemate was in the next room. there was a dining room separator. housemate in dining room/bedroom.
so no talking dirty or whooping it up mid frick.
2. the beatles song, shes leaving home would be started up.
3. i was told that once song was on i could mount her, and that she would cry a while and then fall asleep.
after i came i should just leave.

that all happened. i never spoke with her again.
i had not been warned in advance. all info was conveyed with me already on top of her. she reached one hand to start the song.

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Those are all pretty common sex contract conditions, dude. I enforce several of them myself, except that the song is "Moon River." I prefer the version sung by The Lettermen but I can accept Perry Como if I'm extremely horny.

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She wasn’t impressed

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Neither are we. You couldn’t get some high school kid to drink Jack Daniels. You’re the coolest

Went to dinner on a set-up date with a beautiful woman. 15 minutes into dinner she starts bawling and telling me the story of how her husband died from an aneurysm next to her while they slept. Real awkward after that

Asked a girl what her favorite movie was and she said “I Am the #4” and I laughed heartily at her. Totally thought she was joking.

That was a wrap

One asked me do you ever want to get married again. I said, “heck no”. She followed with, “great me neither, so no commitment and no expectations sound just right.”

First date with a girl.

Was at a nice cocktail bar. Really quiet place where you go have a glass of wine or two and talk. Place is quiet. Some old people in there like 50s and such. Open floor plan and small cocktail tables. I’m in a damn blazer it’s a place like that.

This girl was at Wednesday’s at the Square all afternoon. Comes to our date blackout trashed. Ends up sticking her tongue down my throat and pulling my hair in the middle of this place. I felt all eyes were on me. She ended up leaning forward and intermittently passing out on my shoulder in between raping my face while gold star AARP members were aghast. I had to walk her out to her Uber. Felt like people thought I drugged her.

Moved to Orlando for a job. Knew no one. Got on online dating. This girl in her mid 20s if maybe my 4th or 5th of my first connections from match.com. she was this cute thing that worked as a male up artist for the Disney live action characters/princesses. After about a week of "getting to know you" messages back & forth-she offers to cook me dinner at her place for our 1st date. I show up with some wine & nice cheese/meat board. It's a really nice big 2 story house with a pool & it's really well put together with modern furniture & artwork. I'm thinking I found me a really well off independently wealthy unicorn of a woman. She cooks me this decent meal while we talk over the wine & board. She starts plating the meal on these nice serving dishes, I help carry 2, & leads me to the dining room. I'm thinking that she overcooked. We enter the dining room & there are 4 place settings. I sort of dismissed it in my head thinking she just always has them set up, like you see on tv or whatever. She then Walks over to the intercom & says "Mom. Dad. Dinner is ready. Come on down & eat."
It took every mouth, throat, & stomach muscle I could control not to vomit on the spot from the shock. They entered before I could collect my thoughts or even ask her what was going on. Her dad had to have caught my deer in the headlights face as I bumbled through the awkward introductions. I wanted so badly to just bolt. I have no idea how I managed to get thru that meal without falling apart. I guess my "my momma raised me right" manners just took over for me. Over the course of dinner I learned that it was in fact her parent's home. They lived upstairs & she lived downstairs. That she only cooked for giys she really liked & wanted to introduce to her folks (we had ONLY messaged via the dating site). Finally, I learned that she only worked about 15 hours a week doing the make up for the characters & that she was in more than $150,000 in school + credit caed debt.
Right at 930pm, I remember specifically because I was a teacher & it was a Thursday night, I politely end my time with them because I'd finally figured out my exit plan of "having to get some sleep so I could teach at 730am the next morning, a test day at that (total bullshite)".
I thanked them all for a great evening. She walked me out & I thanked her again but then finally made a B Line to my truck. I disconnected from her on the dating app & never spoke to her again.

I met a girl from a dating app and we talked for a couple weeks before we ever went out...she was really, really pretty, we talked all the time for hours on end, I hate talking on the phone and I looked forward to our conversations. We liked the same stuff, agreed on pretty much anything, she had a great career and her own place, didn’t want or expect anything from me, all that good stuff.

Finally a day comes around where she’s free and I’m actually not out of town for work so we agree to meet up at a sushi place that we both like. We met outside and she was even more pretty than I thought. A perfect amount of everything in all the perfect places. She gives me a big hug and she has this beautiful smile on her face...I thought I was in real trouble. We sit down and get our menus and she proceeds to not say a SINGLE word all dinner. She will look at me and smile and nod or shake her head, but she won’t say anything. I can’t get anything out of her. So, I pay and we leave.

Before I can get home she’s calling me talking my ear off about what a great time She had and how great she thinks I am and that she’s sorry that she didn’t take her meds and she has extreme anxiety and was so nervous she couldn’t speak. Promises the next time will be different if I can give her another shot. We had a lot in common so I agreed to give her another shot. Same thing again. I even gave her a third try. Same shite. I blocked her and never spoke to her again.