Spinoff: Is there a nontrashy cruise?

Rent a personal yacht that’s fully staffed if you want a non trashy boating experience.

Wait, you’re not poor are you?

The real question is why would anyone want to go on a cruise

No

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nontrashy cruise

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if you can rent the entire ship to yourself its not trashy.

Like flying in coach and laying across seats if you've bought every ticket on the plane.

Bourbon river cruise

BOURBON TO BLUES

CRUISE THROUGH KENTUCKY’S BOURBON REGION

Learn what makes a centuries-old tradition as uniquely American as our river cruises with this rare opportunity to experience an extraordinary journey through America’s heartland and into the roots of Kentucky’s bourbon region on a river cruise with American Queen Voyages. This special themed voyage will take you behind the scenes and into the history books to show you where bourbon comes from, how it is made and the ways to distinguish the unique characteristics of different distilleries. Not only have we arranged for special tastings, creative menus, and cooking demonstrations, but also we are thrilled to announce an exclusive line-up of special onboard guests. Featured presentations and onboard tasting events will be provided by Maker’s Mark and Buffalo Trace. Michael Veach, a bourbon historian and member of the Kentucky Bourbon Hall of Fame, brings an unbiased opinion to any bourbon conversation and will offer tastings of some of the world’s most famous and unique bourbons. Both onboard and ashore, each day of your luxury river cruise presents an eclectic blend of music, creative workshops and a wealth of enrichment that can’t be found anywhere else. This dynamic blend of historic discovery, toe-tapping entertainment and complimentary tours of the finest bourbon distilleries creates a uniquely American river cruise that you simply cannot afford to miss!

Viking baw. You and the rest of the octogenarians can party in Prague like is 1599

Small ship, adventure oriented cruises. Uncruise for example. LINK

Some of the small boat river cruises are relatively non trashy but all old people

Any boat full of younger people will be trashy

Cruise to Alaska is nothing like one to the Caribbean

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Rent a personal yacht

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Wait, you’re not poor are you?

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I should ask you the same