re: Southern Similes

mad as a broke dick dog

Grinning like a shite eating possum
Slicker than owl shite
Faster than sauce through a widow woman


Other just sayings I’ve heard mostly from my dad

Boy you could frick up a brass billy goat.

Mostly said while hunting. You sound like a six legged horse with two broke legs.

Talking about a sexually experienced woman. Boy she would grease you up and swallow you whole.

Talking about a woman with a fat arse. I bet when she farts it sounds like applause.

When I would ask where we were going. Up a hog’s arse to get a pork sandwich.

If someone would make a suggestion while he was doing something. I’m fricking this monkey you’re just holding the head. Basically a version of stay in your lane bro.

When me and my buddy would go out trolling for pussy in high school. Hey, don’t forget to put a scabbard on it.

I miss my dad. :(

A red count hair is the smallest unit of measurement.

This board is 9 and 3 quarters, maybe a red count hair give or take.

Man, I’m up to my arse in alligators.


Father in law talking about a large relative thinking about evacuating before a hurricane. “If she decides to haul arse, it’s gonna take her several trips.”

busy as a one-legged cat in a sandbox

Yankees are like hemorrhoids: Pain in the butt when they come down and always a relief when they go back up

Horny as a 10-peckered billy goat.

“Higher than giraffe pussy” speaking of something that is very expensive

fricked up as a snake in a lawnmower.

Drunker than a two peckered owl.

quote:

---

red count hair is the smallest unit of measurement.

---

I always tell the blackjack dealer “give me a red pubic hair” when hitting 16.