re: Soft White Underbelly- A Divorce Attorney’s Thoughts on Love and Marriage

quote:

---

You need to re-read this quote. Really, deeply, and attentively read it and understand it. If you do that and still come away thinking “Yeah, I’m right. I nailed it” you need serious help and you need to get the hell off the internet and go have real, deep, human interactions. Hopefully one where you can put someone else above your own base needs.

---

take out the stuff about lipstick and blowjobs, and i'm not sure what you can really argue with there. certainly aligns with my experience. we must not only listen, but entertain and even AGREE with every emotional flight of fancy that crosses a woman's mind, no matter how objectively ludicrous it is. and if we dont listen, agree, and actively work to relieve the woman of the emotional burden of carrying her dreamed up crisis, then we are guilty of "emotional abuse". and if we DO listen, agree, and relieve them of their Monday crises, well there is a Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday crisis coming as well, and you fricking better handle those just as well or better than Monday's, otherwise - you guessed it - you are an abuser.

quote:

---

Pimp is spitting some truths. Your wife got your balls in a vice?

---

He’s not spitting any truth. He may be accurate in describing one or a few narcissistic sociopathic women, but what he’s advocating for women to be is muted sex slaves.

If me being able to view my wife as an actual person that has a fully developed personality and as more than a robotic sex object put on earth simply to serve me with absolutely no needs of her own means she has my balls in a vice, sure she has them.

quote:

---

you need serious help you need serious help and you need to get the hell off the internet and go have real, deep, human interactions. Hopefully one where you can put someone else above your own base needs.

---

Lady Splainin' noted. It's ubiquitous. I've never had a day away from it. It is the current wisdom. Sexuality is way down the list, men and women are equal, men just love to sit attentively while women regale them with Lady thoughts. I've been indoctrinated in that the same as you. But it's a lie.

Ma'am, as my father and grandfather before me, I have spent a LIFETIME "putting someone else above your (my) own base needs". This is what good men do NATURALLY. We sacrifice, bleed, nurture, give everything we have to our wives and children. As I type this my beloved daughter is in another room of my home sleeping in my bed because it makes her feel secure. Yesterday I moved her into her sorority house and she came back today because she needed her Daddy just like I need her. I'd put my "nurturing" up to yours and spot you 1000 acts of kindness, ma'am. But go ahead, condescend if it makes you feel superior.

I am discussing the nature of WOMEN. I understand them. Rather than insulting me in the feminine manner, maybe you can provide a valid counterpoint. Tell us about the joys of marriage and the emotional well-being of American women. And then tell me how marriage benefits men. Especially the men who are post child-rearing that I am discussing. Tell me how hitching your man-wagon to their cart of problems benefits me. I'll listen respectfully.

You have the floor.

quote:

---

Ma'am, as my father and grandfather before me, I have spent a LIFETIME "putting someone else above your (my) own base needs". This is what good men do NATURALLY. We sacrifice, bleed, nurture, give everything we have to our wives and children. As I type this my beloved daughter is in another room of my home sleeping in my bed because it makes her feel secure. Yesterday I moved her into her sorority house and she came back today because she needed her Daddy just like I need her. I'd put my "nurturing" up to yours and spot you 1000 acts of kindness, ma'am. But go ahead, condescend if it makes you feel superior. I am discussing the nature of WOMEN. I understand them. Rather than insulting me in the feminine manner, maybe you can provide a valid counterpoint. Tell us about the joys of marriage and the emotional well-being of American women. And then tell me how marriage benefits men. Especially the men who are post child-rearing that I am discussing. Tell me how hitching your man-wagon to their cart of problems benefits me. I'll listen respectfully. You have the floor.

---

Your grown arse daughter sleeps in your bed because it helps her feel “secure”

What the frick lol.

I don’t think your perspective or advice on this topic is worth much. You seem like a doormat people pleaser.

quote:

---

Lady Splainin' noted. It's ubiquitous. I've never had a day away from it. It is the current wisdom. Sexuality is way down the list, men and women are equal, men just love to sit attentively while women regale them with Lady thoughts. I've been indoctrinated in that the same as you.

---

Where the hell did I, or anyone in this thread say this?

quote:

---

Ma'am, as my father and grandfather before me, I have spent a LIFETIME "putting someone else above your (my) own base needs". This is what good men do NATURALLY. We sacrifice, bleed, nurture, give everything we have to our wives and children.

---

Is that why you want all women to simply shut up, fill your belly, and drain your nuts?

quote:

---

As I type this my beloved daughter is in another room of my home sleeping in my bed because it makes her feel secure. Yesterday I moved her into her sorority house and she came back today because she needed her Daddy just like I need her. I'd put my "nurturing" up to yours and spot you 1000 acts of kindness, ma'am. But go ahead, condescend if it makes you feel superior.

---

Good on you for being a devoted and dedicated father. But please make sure you instill in your daughter that her only value to a man is to cook and frick him and that any issues she has should never be brought up because that is 100% what you advocated for.

quote:

---

am discussing the nature of WOMEN. I understand them.

---

How many women have you been involved with are exactly like you described? Because of all the women I have been forced to have in my life (family) or chose to be in my life (marriage) I have yet to have 1 like you described.

quote:

---

Rather than insulting me in the feminine manner, maybe you can provide a valid counterpoint.

---

I never insulted you, I merely pointed out how warped your opinion is and how I vehemently disagreed. If that’s an insult, you’re more emotional than many of the women I know.

quote:

---

Tell us about the joys of marriage and the emotional well-being of American women.

---

I can tell you right now my wife motivates me to be a better man. She has since the day we started dating. She’s supportive of me and I of her, we make important decisions together after talking and debating them. Our marriage truly is a partnership, so yes, maybe I have the warped view of marriage because all I hear about on this board is how fricked up everyone’s relationships are.

quote:

---

And then tell me how marriage benefits men. Especially the men who are post child-rearing that I am discussing.

---

This is an entire other argument you want to have, and one we would most likely be on the same side. Marriage and Divorce in the eyes of the government absolutely fricks men and needs to be changed. Marriage when done through the church, mosque, synagogue with family, god, and the relationship at its core provides men stability, provides men purpose, provides men foundation to truly develop from a male to a man as he now has something far greater th an himself to care about.

quote:

---

Tell me how hitching your man-wagon to their cart of problems benefits me. I'll listen respectfully.

---

Again, of all the women I have chosen to involve in my life, none and I mean none, are like what you described.

quote:

---

what about that doesnt make sense or seems weird to you? his daughter went off to college, got overwhelmed, and came home to a place she knew was safe.

---

I love his little screed about how whiny and bitchy women are and how they are so needy and it’s such a problem for them if their husband doesn’t listen to and/or fix whatever issue they have etc


Then follows it up with how he is such a martyr because his grown daughter got scared of college on day 1 so he told her to come home and sleep in daddy’s bed where it’s nice and safe.

Like I said, his advice or thoughts in this arena aren’t worth shite lol

quote:

---

Also, over time I have noticed that couples who actually have to struggle to make ends meet have a better relationship than those who have bountiful relationships.

---

Could be more a function of dependency rather than love if speaking financially, however I also find that some of the strongest couples I know are those who have experienced great hardships or tragedy together (loss of a child, house fire, accident, etc.)

quote:

---

Get married to have a family. Enjoy it. And then hold your breath after the kids are grown..

---

Best piece of advise my grandfather ever gave me....marry a girl you can love with your eyes closed and your ears open.

quote:

---

He’s not spitting any truth. He may be accurate in describing one or a few narcissistic sociopathic women, but what he’s advocating for women to be is muted sex slaves.

If me being able to view my wife as an actual person that has a fully developed personality and as more than a robotic sex object put on earth simply to serve me with absolutely no needs of her own means she has my balls in a vice, sure she has them.

---

There is truth in what he says but it's insanely amplified. Also, every time one of these threads emerges, the men bitching about women (bitching, ironically) often WAY undersell their own relationship inefficiencies and issues.