re: Single folks: how are you content being alone?

quote:

---

I feel almost as suicidal now as I did at the start. Everybody in here is right. Essentially, I’m pathetic. I’m a simp. No secret. I’m an extremely flawed individual with zero sense of where to go. I really wish I wasn’t such a bitch and would just take the last step

---

God damn, boy. That’s not the answer.

quote:

---

Essentially, I’m pathetic. I’m a simp. No secret. I’m an extremely flawed individual with zero sense of where to go. I really wish I wasn’t such a bitch and would just take the last step.

---

Breathe. It's just a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, and perhaps, even a bad year or years. It's not a bad life. You are 38 and a lot of life left to live. I'm 50, and I have a lot of life to live.

People come and go in our lives. But the right ones will always stay. But before you can even think about someone else, I highly recommend that you shift your focus, effort, and energy back to yourself.

Do something physically every day that you enjoy. This doesn't mean you have to become a gym freak, or a body builder. It could be as simple as walking for 30 minutes. Do something that challenges you intelluctually daily. Perhaps, it is journaling, reading a book, listening to a podcast, or talking with a friend or peer who you value as someone as intelligent, etc. You decide. Next, do something that tugs at you emotionally every day. Reflection, sitting in sorrow for a period of 15 minutes, or go volunteer and help others. Finally, whether or not you are a spiritual individual, you will find that if you read a daily devotional, pray for 15 minutes, or watch church online, this will round out your day.

You will have done something physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. That my friend, is a full day. And you are doing this for yourself, because no one else can do it for you. When you get better, you will attract better. And when you get better, you will have more of yourself to give.

Believe it or not, I was once like you. Most people wouldn't have known it. I hid it very well. I was ashamed to ask for help. I was too prideful and I thought more of myself and my opinion than I did of anyone else.

It took me losing my wife and essentially everything we had achieved in our lives together as a couple to realize that I was the problem, but I was also the solution.

My counselor today is one of the greatest people in my life to call out my bullshite, and help me see things from a different perspective. He is my Saint.

Take the advice you want from this thread and quit posting on it.

quote:

---

the only people who hate your bitchy, whiny, sorry for yourself shite more than myself and other OTers are the women you are trying to frick

---

Nailed it. Sorry to have inconvenienced you and the OT. If that’s you trying to push me off the edge, props to you. I think it’s time to be done. Good night to you and the OT. Hopefully this is my last post.

I’m sure it’s been mentioned before, but dig into your attachment style. I think it’s a disservice to yourself to not do the work so you can not only be happy alone, but maintain a healthy relationship.

Also, you can eat shredded cheese out of the fridge at 3am. Single life has its perks.

I can sit around in my underwear if I want.
I can eat on the couch while I watch TV.
I can read on the shitter.
I don't have to listen to anyone complain.
I don't have to watch HGTV.
I can surf channels all I want (men hunt, women nest).

Bro. Seek help. Call the suicide hotline. Talk to a friend.

You’re thinking WAY too much.

Why is having a woman SO important to you?

I’m 36. I’ve been single. I’ve had girlfriends. I’m honestly happy either way.

I would give anything to not be in love with my girlfriend so I could be single and just enjoy the possibilities of life. But unfortunately feelings are feelings.

Here is the issue. And it was my issue and presents itself in so many ways.

You. Are. Insecure.

I’m not saying this to insult you I’m trying to open your eyes.

You don’t think you have value so you need external validation. And that usually manifests through needing women.

It is either the need to bang as many women as possible so you can tell yourself “yes. See. I AM attractive! All these women want to sleep with me!” Or “I need to be in a relationship. I clearly don’t have any value until someone picks me!”

You need to be happy with who you are. Where you are in life. Be at peace with yourself. Find happiness in other things other than external validation. Because that is a dead end road.

Stop thinking so much as well.

quote:

---

how are you content being alone?

---

I don’t find it difficult
I’ve found it easier than finding contentment with a horrible woman in my life
The freedom is good, and it’s easy to manage finances when single

I’ve been a simp and settled for women that weren’t worth my effort in the past, but never again.

I’d like to find a quality woman worthy of my attention, but if I don’t, I’m happy with staying single, and enjoying time with fun women that I don’t consider relationship material.